BBB Reviews: “Weird Al” Yankovic (self-titled first album) (Revised 2018)

Before I begin the review, let me state for the record that this was actually the LAST album I bought of Al’s. That’s right, I purchased Straight Outta Lynwood before this. (Editor's Note 2018: I did manage to buy the other albums in a timely fashion after this.) After listening to this CD for the first time on my 18th birthday (which was in 2007), I thought it was a solid record, though it was only some 23 minutes long.

So here goes nothing (with lyrics widgets), “WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC!

1. “Ricky”: The lead-off track on the very first album is indeed a parody. That song in question is “Mickey”, by Toni Basil, a music video that apparently looked like it was performed by drunk cheerleaders.

Anyways, back off a tangent, this song is primarily a two and a half minute synopsis on the plot of the show. Al, playing Ricky Ricardo, pretty much owns his whiny yet lovable wife of Lucy, played by Tress MacNeille. Or at least that’s how it is played in the music video. The highlight of the song in my opinion, other than the obvious retread of the famous opening theme at the end, is when Lucy is trying to persuade Ricky to let her go to the club capped off with that signature “cry”. That sounds like a plot for at least one show a season!

This song however definitely showed Al’s comedic talents, and would help him branch out into the stratosphere. For now, like Clark Kent at the Daily Planet, this song is mild-mannered and unassuming.

Weird Al Yankovic - Ricky lyrics | LyricsMode.com

2. “Gotta Boogie”: Don’t let the opening synthesizer/drum riff in the opening fool you.

This song is not about boogie, in terms of dancing.

This song is about boogie, the one that comes out of your NOSE!

For a song just a scratch over two minutes long, there isn’t much to say. There’s not much variation in the instrumentals, and there is definitely not much variety in the lyrics. Moral of the story: just put it in a tissue and put it in the trash! 

3. “I Love Rocky Road”: Ah, the song that launched “The Food Album”. Or so I think…

This track is a parody off the famous tune, “I Love Rock and Roll” by Joan Jett. Instead of talking about punk taking over the jukeboxes, this one revolves around Al talking about, “chocolate’s getting old, (and) vanilla just leaves me cold.”

Al’s fascination with this ice cream is quite irregular. He keeps quarts in the locker at school, yet when he hears the ice cream truck, he starts to drool. Paradise for him would be locking him in the freezer and throw away the key. Soda jerkers know him by name, and he doesn’t care about tooth root.

Also the music video to this is pretty well known too (as seen in the link for the, gasp, Music Video Collection!) However, you’re treated to a live version instead!

And no, Al did not get pelted with ice cream in this performance!

4. “Buckingham Blues”: This song fits the coronation of “Weird” in Al’s name to a ‘t’.

The song, an original in lyrics, has a bluesy-folk riff in the background while the song is sung as if it was “Jack and Diane” by John Mellencamp. Replace Jack and Diane with Chuck and Diane… and um…yeah…

This three minute+ song revolves around the socialite lifestyle of Prince Charles and Princess Diana of Wales. Yes, the same Princess Diana that unfortunately lost her life in that auto accident in Paris back in 1997 attempting to get away from the Paparazzi.

With the “Jack and Diane” analogy, that was really only in the first verse in the song as everything is totally sarcastic. Al riffs on Chuck not knowing what his job entails while whatever Diana wears is on the six o’clock news. That’s just a case of the Buckingham Blues! Not a bad track I must say, pretty good satire.

5. “Happy Birthday”: Full of pip and pop, this original song revolves around anything BUT a ‘happy’ birthday.

Among topics “yelled” (Al talks very fast in this song and it took me a couple of takes to get it all in), are poison-filled skies, the ‘monkeys’ at the Pentagon about the press the button and cause World War 3, and essentially everyone dying.

Yep, another tradition is born: typical gore/death song on an ‘Al’ album. Not much beyond that, but it’s a start.

6. “Stop Draggin’ My Car Around”: Written apparently by Tom Petty but used/sung by Stevie Nicks, this song is a parody of “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around”. However, unlike a figurative drag in the original, Al is talking about a literal drag.

The unfortunate drag of a tow truck.

Between parking in a loading dock, the owner of a bar not liking the car, and then just finally not paying on time (though the check was in the mail), Al gets to see his ‘64 Plymouth finally being towed away for good. Poor guy, always seems to have hard luck!

In addition, the choice of following the original’s beat of a slower pace makes all the pain the main character suffering all the more unbearable. That and, well, what engine does it have?

7. “My Bologna”: A song that was famous on the Dr. Demento show long before Al made this album, it is a parody of “My Sharona” by The Knack.

In a fast-paced ditty (a shade over two minutes), Al sings about what seems to be his favorite cured lunch meat. Mentioning the pace, the original song was at a much more moderate tempo than this, as Al sounds to be out of breath at times. (Editor’s Note 2018: The demo version from ‘Medium Rarities’ has a tempo closer to the song it parodies.)

In addition to the pace, this song predominantly features the song of Al’s accordion, an instrument who is as signature as Al’s mustache at the time. Although Al would undergo a lot of cosmetic and aesthetic changes throughout his career, the accordion never truly left (though it’s appearances would be heavily toned down after this album).

8. “The Check’s in the Mail”: An original, and another traditional Al song of problems with the lady-folk.

Al is divorced, and while he has a new chick (that the old chick can “talk” to just to avoid Al), the old one wants to suck his accounts DRY. As in, she won’t wait for the check to come in, she wants to SUE, and SUE NOW! I wouldn’t be surprised if that old chick’s name was ‘Sue’.

This song has issues most men will relate to, mainly the litigation and avoidance themes. In the grand scheme of thematics, this song didn’t fit too well.

9. “Another One Rides the Bus”: For a first album, I must admit Mr. Yankovic really bit off a lot from that creative tree. 

The song he parodies here is by far the most famous of all the other songs featured on the album."

Taken off of “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen, this song was originally featured on the Dr. Demento show in 1980, and was also the debut of Al’s television performances in 1981 as he was on “The Tomorrow Show with Tom Synder”. The latter of the two can be seen on the Music Video Collection in the special feature section.

Back to the song, it’s a crazy-sounding track. Substitute guitars for percussion sound-effects and accordions, and that is the overall jist of the aural presentation. As a matter of fact, the hysterically low budget of the track helps it become a much more effective parody  once you realize Al was a unknown at this stage in his career.

The lyrics are not much to comprehend: it’s about the different types of passengers encountered on a crowded public bus. With that in mind, here is the music video from the DVD. Perhaps you might just buy it!

10. “I’ll Be Mellow When I’m Dead”:  An original track, it’s a bizarre branch of the Al song tree.

Usually Al is a free spirit, yet he attacks that very ideal in this track as he doesn’t care for jacuzzis, incense, Perrier, sushi, 

amongst other “in desirables”.

Despite the attacks of that style, the song is not instrumentally “designed” like its theorem. As a matter of fact, and quite hilariously, it sounds like almost every other track with it being mainly accordion based. For the longest song in the album (3:39), there’s not much more discussion then what I just wrote.

11. “Such a Groovy Guy”: An unusual topic graces this original, that of being a narcissistic bastard.

He raves about his style, his approach, yet his lady doesn’t think so.

With pouring chocolate pudding down your lady’s pants, that is something I can rest assure you can hold you back from getting action.

Knowing his crap doesn’t stink, the lady folk leaves him while Al wonders what did he do that was so wrong. It was quite obvious, but the narcissism derails his thought process. All Al needed to complete this “look” was the jumpsuit he used from the “Living with a Hernia” music video.

12. “Mr. Frump in the Iron Lung”: Here it is, the finale. Apparently, this original was quite a hit in bars where Al used to sing this tune.

The story behind it is simple, yet effective: Al visits Mr. Frump in the hospital every day. He tells Mr. Frump his stories and troubles in life, but because Frump is in a iron lung, really can’t speak. So in that sense, it’s as if the guy from the song prior is getting some meditation from a guy who “agrees” with him.

Speaking of the iron lung (yes, the pun is intentional), the sound effect for Frump’s “vocals” revolve around percussion and deep breathing. Hmm, sounds like a low budget thing doesn’t it?

CONCLUSION: This album is definitely a stepping stone in Al’s career. While his voice wasn’t fully honed out yet, the creativity and his “spin on things” definitely made this album better than most first outings from other singers. From here, Al can only go up from here, and not just in quality. Also in…DIMENSIONS……

BBB Top 10: The Best ‘Weird Al’ Songs That Aren’t on a Greatest Hits Album.

(If you purchase this, you might help me buy a copy of my own! That’s my way of telling you I get slight residuals.)

With the legend’s new album coming out on June 21st, it would mark the first time since 2006 that ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic released a full-length album full of new material.
The album, entitled “Alpocalypse” features newly-recorded material with “previously” released material, as in the ‘Internet Leaks’ album available only on iTunes. While it’ll no doubt be a ‘typical’ Al album of parodies, originals, and downright sick-in-nature anthems, it goes to show that Mr. Yankovic is a man who never goes irrelevant and always stays on topical issues.
However, there are songs in his library that, like my prior blog about Billy Joel, are never talked about and thus feel like neglected children. Therefore today, we’re unearthing them, and perhaps you might take another  gander at these true gems.
(As always, these songs are in CHRONILOGICAL ORDER, and there will be Amazon links after the numericals, just in case your record space needs some more filling!)
1. “Midnight Star”, In 3-D, 1984:
 

Jumping to Al’s second album, because quite frankly the best stuff from the first album has been hailed over while the second-hand stuff remain second-hand, In 3-D remains an underrated album in the ‘Weird Al’ cannon. This track is the second one on the album, and it’s a original tune whose topic is around those ridiculous tabloids you see in the grocery store. “It says the ghost of Elvis is living in my den.” That’s just a sample of the bizarre imagery that not only infiltrates this song, but the whole album.

The frog boy is on the loose again!

2. “Theme from Rocky XIII”, In 3-D, 1984

While the song may not sound familiar, the tune it parodies is celebrated the world over. A parody of “Eye of the Tiger” from Survivor, this ditty revolves around a hypothetical THIRTEENTH Rocky movie whose plot revolves around the main character owning a deli. Yes, I am serious. In the song, it talks about Rocky in his older (and apparently fatter) days, “sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain!” Follow the non-existent plot and then just bask in the glory of Al in his youth making up something goofy.

Stay away from the tuna it smells funny tonight!

3. “I Want a New Duck”, Dare to be Stupid, 1985:

Once again, another parody. This time its from a very popular band in the 80s’ called Huey Lewis and the News, who had a single called, “I Want a New Drug”. In typical Al looney-ness, it describes how Al desperately wants a new duck with the characteristics of a human, “not a swan or a goose… I’ll name him Bruce!” Look out for segments in the song where the “backup” immediately turns into ducks quacking! As a eight-year old that cracked me up, and as an older person it still does. And you thought I was going for the pun? Nah!

I want a drake I’ll dress real cute, I’m think I’m gonna name him Bruce!

4. “Slime Creatures from Outer Space”, Dare to be Stupid, 1985

One of the very first songs to be recorded for the album, this song in a way feels like it should have been recorded for “In 3-D”. The song revolves around, well, the slime creatures coming in from outer space and completely destroying Earth as we know it. “They’re not very nice to the human race,” Al says, as he hopes none of them come in because he just washed the rug. That’s lyrics you just don’t hear from anyone else, and again, eclectic Al does the impossible!

It’s not complete, but rare nonetheless.
5. “Alimony”, Even Worse, 1988:

While it’s a parody, it reflects nothing of the track its life owes its existence to. “Mony Mony” by Billy Idol was a track made almost exclusively for clubs, “Alimony” is a sad tale about a man getting everything yanked off his back because of a divorce. Keep in mind, Al didn’t get married FOR THE FIRST TIME until a decade or so later, so this song was pretty much made for fun. “Workin’ three jobs just to stay in debt now.” That’s probably the least of his worries, as his car, and even his toothbrush are taken because of said “divorce”. A genuine Al torture song, but not in terms in gore and literal guts, but of hardship and figurative guts. The literal guts would be in the form of “Good Old Days” from the same album.

It’s a “live” parody of a “live” track! XD

6. “The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota”, UHF, 1989
 
(It’s a good movie! I swear!)
This song gives birth to a somewhat-tradition of Al’s: Put your longest song LAST on the record! At nearly seven minutes, this song feels as long as the road trip the characters of this song make, as you guessed it, they travel to Minnesota to look at the biggest ball of twine in the whole wide world! A song I wish was somehow worked into the movie, it sounds like something promoted on that channel! The imagery, that of kids jumping around in the back seat asking “are we there yet” is some old-time nostalgia, that of 20 years to the former. And who wants to eat pickled weiners and diet chocolate soda? Yum? I DON’T KNOWWWWWWW! As the dad character, Al wonders (in paraphrase) of what the hell the point was with this ball of twine? After the gift shop expenditure, time to go home, and there is seven minutes gone! 

A road trip of a song. I wonder if anyone experienced the pickled weiners and diet chocolate soda?

7. “When I Was Your Age”, Off the Deep End, 1992:

THIS, my friends, is perhaps the author’s personal favorite Al song. The main character, a much-older Al of bitter and disenfranchised memories, talks about how the current generation (with Nintendos and water beds) is so spoiled (to his salt on snails and sleeping on broken glass). The exaggerations in this song are quite staggering, “Nobody ever drove me to school when it was 40 degrees below! I walked buck-naked, through 40 miles of snow!” Like “Good Old Days” briefly mentioned in the ‘Alimony’ entry, this song is a gore and guts torture song to the zenith degree. “They chopped me into pieces, and played frisbee with my brain! I’m gonna tell ya junior, you never heard me complain when I was your age!” I will also note, in a very schilling way, that if you buy the album above, has to be in CD form though, you will get an easter egg at the very last song (You Don’t Love Me Anymore). Trust me, it’s a good one!

Used old rusty nails, we had no Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails!

8. “Since You’ve Been Gone”, Bad Hair Day, 1996:

By far the shortest song on this countdown at just a shade under a minute and a half, but wow what a piece it is. Essentially, it’s a song talking about how Al misses his girl, who broke up with him. To get his feeling across, Al uses his wonderful library of gross imagery/exaggerations to describe the internal trauma, “I dropped a two-ton bowling ball on my toes… shoved a red-hot cactus up my nose”. The ending though is the greatest contradiction I may have ever heard, “I feel almost as bad I did… when you were still here!!!!” May I also add this song was done ENTIRELY in a cappella, so no instruments or sound effects were used, it was ALL voice, just adding to the raw undertones already in play. This whole album could have comprised this list!

An ice-cream headache that won’t go away!

9. “All About the Pentiums”, Running with Scissors, 1999:

If “When I Was Your Age” is my favorite SONG, then Running with Scissors is my favorite ALBUM. A tight set-list, not one skippable track, and while it might go through rose-eyed glasses for nostalgia, it holds up even more than a decade later. This selection, parody of “All About the Benjamins” by Puff Daddy (or P Diddy, or Sean Combs, or whoever the hell he is this week), essentially talks about technology getting outdated as soon as you unwrap it. Although no one will have 100 gigs of RAM anytime soon, the overall message of age of technology is as timely as it ever was. With Pentiums falling by the wayside to dual-cores, and then “Cores” (that’s your ‘I’ systems, of i3, i5, and i7) coming in, CD-ROM has now evolved to Blu-Ray, and RAM is now in the Gigs from Megs with huge speed to match. Bill Gates may not do your tech support, but at least Windows 7 is not as “holey moley” as Vista when it first came out. Also watch out for Drew Carey in a cameo appearance! And did I say this was my favorite of Al’s albums?

I don’t feed trolls and I don’t read SPAM!

10. “A Complicated Song”, Poodle Hat, 2003:

Of all of Al’s albums, this is amongst my least favorite pile. It didn’t click with me on day one, and still doesn’t although there are still more than enough hits to keep me coming back. Of all songs on that album however, who woulda thunk cute lil’ Avril Lavigne and “Complicated” would be the inspirational basis for this parody? While the original’s core theme was about relationships, this one has to do with a chain of events related to eating WAY too much pizza at a party only Al attended. Or, trying to make a chain of events that makes the situation in question end in “-ated”. For example, constipated is beleaguered with irrigated and evacuated for his colon, related for his near “incest” with a girl who turned out to be his cousin, and then decapitated as his head flies off after hitting a beam on a roller coaster. Some people call it classless, I say it’s classic Al, no matter how the cake is cut.

EXTRA CHEESE…SAVE A PIECE FOR ME!

Oh crap, there’s one more song I need to mention. Sorry Nostalgia Critic, I’m going to steal a gimmick of yours. And no, the song is question is NOT “Everything You Know is Wrong”, the track used in that man’s “Top Eleven Screw-Up” videos. As a matter of fact…
11. “Weasel Stomping Day”, Straight Outta Lynwood, 2006

This is a gory, GORY track. As a matter of fact, it’s probably the goriest track outside of “The Night Santa Went Crazy”. An original and very short (1:37) song, the tune is essentially polka-sounding with a lot of sound effects for crunching and oozing. The song is about, you guessed it, WEASEL STOMPING! A town celebrating this sick holiday, complete with Viking boots, lots of mayonnaise, and guns being put down in lieu of said boots. The music video is genius, as it is created by the same people who made the Robot Chicken series on Cartoon Network’s “Adult Swim”. To find that, just flip the disc over. Straight Outta Lynwood is a “dual-disc” design where one half of the disc is a audio CD with the regular album, and the other is a single-layer DVD where it is primarily music videos and a DVD-audio version of the LP.

So come along for a laugh, snap their weasely spines in half!

In conclusion, I realized there are at least another 10 Al songs I could do, considering the vast library of said work. However, for now, these are ten I consider un-sung classics, songs that define ‘Weird Al’ and his main core of themes and rhythms. Come June 21st, there’ll most likely be MORE unsung heroes, so until then, “they took out all my internal organs just to pay the rent!”

BBB Top 10: The Best Billy Joel Songs… That Aren’t On a Greatest Hits (or Essential) Compilation

 

(Author’s Note: This somewhat revised version has Amazon links where necessary. If you click on them, I might get some residuals and that could help this blog potentially expand in the future. This is a grand experiment, and if you click on them/purchase, an invisible man will tell you it was all appreciated :) . )

During Hangover Part II, I noticed that the crew took some inspiration from the catalogue from one Mr. William Joel.

Let’s count the ways: Alan’s room having a wall full of album covers, “Downeaster Alexa” being played on the plane ride, the “Allentown” parody that should NEVER be done again, etc.

It’s obvious that with a catalogue as long and deep as Joel’s, it seems like everyone knows the same 10-12 songs and nothing more. As a matter of fact, I’ll list those songs first, as to know what songs ARE NOT appearing on this countdown. Keep in mind, the songs are not in any order:

Piano Man; Captain Jack; The Stranger; Scenes from an Italian Restaurant; Just the Way You Are; Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song); Big Shot; My Life; It’s Only Rock and Roll to Me; Tell Her About It; A Matter of Trust; We Didn’t Start the Fire; and River of Dreams.

Technically that’s 13, but my point here is made: there are hidden gems waiting to be unearthed, and that is why I’m here. Whether you’re reading this because you just watched the ‘Hangover Pt. II’ flick, or for pure curiosity, here is the top ten list of underrated Joel songs!

(Author’s Note: These songs are listed in CHRONILOGICAL order.)

1. “The Ballad of Billy the Kid”; Piano Man; 1973 (also re-released/recorded on the 1981 album, “Songs in the Attic”):

Originally released on the monstrous hit LP “Piano Man” back in 1973, this song takes a backseat to typical songwriting. As a matter of fact, it sounds more like a story you’d hear going to sleep at night. The western imagery of a boy, turning into a “man” holding up tellers by surprise while riding alone in the desert with a Colt he hid is enough to make a long-running story out of. In addition, Bruce Springsteen would take some of those central themes and make a song called “Outlaw Pete”, which was released in early 2009 as part of the “Workin’ on a Dream” record. I put the ‘Attic’ version of this song here because Joel’s aging voice is a perfect compliment of a legend told by a younger man.

Yeah, the imitation of horse hooves grabs your attention, doesn’t it?

2. “The Root Beer Rag”; Streetlife Serenade; 1974:

A radical change of pace to say the very least. Instead of telling a story, this title sounds like as what Deems Taylor would say from Fantasia, "Music that exists only for its own sake.” It is COMPLETELY instrumental, not even a grumble from Joel’s vocals are heard. Also, it is a three minute blast that also accentuates the positives of Billy’s acclaimed (or some would say key-mashing) piano playing.

It’s nonsensical, yet ultimately amusing. One of two instrumental tunes Billy created that are before the album “Fantasies and Delusions”.

3. “All You Wanna Do is Dance”, Turnstiles, 1976:

Disco was all the rage in this time period. The bars, the clothing, the DRUGS! Yet this song feels like it should have been in ‘Scarface’, notably before that clown gets shot thirty bajillion times. This song has that “authentic” synthesizer sound (an oxymoron I know), one with enough 6/8 time notes to make it feel like a dance floor. Surprisingly enough, this is a song that when you give it a chance, it will grow on you.

That song title sounds like a movie that won 13 Golden Raspberries back in the 80’s, yet it doesn’t sound half-bad!

4. “Get It Right the First Time”, The Stranger, 1977: 

(original)

 (2-Disc Legacy Recording) (30th Anniversary big box)

Of all songs from that classically epic album ‘The Stranger’, no song gets more no-sold and unattended than this one. The message of the song is clear from the title, yet it’s beat really enforces that belief into you. Depending on which version you listen to, this song will sound completely different. The album version has a controlled menace to its tempo, while the live version sounds like Billy had a hit of speed before he went on stage and therefore sounds much more like a jam session. There’s nothing wrong with that, especially if you paid a ticket to hear everything go bonkers, but it feels like a total contradiction of itself. While a live version is in the 30th Anniversary box set,  this is the album version below.

IT’S NOW OR NEVERRRRR!

5. “All for Leyna”, Glass Houses, 1980:

Yes, I skipped over 52nd Street. To be honest, I didn’t find much “underrated” stuff, besides the saxophone solo on “Zanzibar”, whose uncut version recently surfaced in a box set called “My Lives” . Back to the topic at hand, this song has a topic VERY similar to Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May”. The topic that is of a man struggling to get back into life after the hard break-up with the woman of their dreams. The sound of Joel’s song could not be any different than Stewart’s, as the former’s feelings of brash desperation are in stark contrast to the latter’s feelings of loss and stuff he can do without. The music video of this song however could not be any more comical, as primitive 80’s video-making abilities give us a literal classic.

Billy the Creeper makes his long-awaited debut!

6. “Laura”, The Nylon Curtain, 1982:

As with most material from its album of origin, “Laura” is a dark, dark song. The story behind the lyrics revolves a woman named Laura, a psychopath who also has a shade of bi-polar disorders making Joel’s  character life a living hell. Also is the only catalog song of Joel’s to feature a long and loud f-bomb, referring to the word as a descriptor of how much of a fool he was in falling for this bitch. In all seriousness, this song is mostly on this list because as you can see from most of the other entries, it’s an accent. A hint of mental illness as opposed to mainly cheery songs. Don’t worry, this list may cheer up.

Like albums from his influence of youth The Beatles, this song is eclectic in contrast to most of the other songs.

7. “A Room of Our Room”, The Nylon Curtain, 1982:

(yeah, it’s pretty egregious, LOL)

 As you can probably tell, this is the first time in the list where songs are back to back on the countdown. From the lyrics, this song sounds like distress from a divorce, which Joel was going through at the time from Elizabeth Weber Small. Hard, aggressive, and sometimes downright mean, it’s a creative outlet for Joel to get frustrations out on. This song also is a perfect metaphor to the hit “Pressure”, which completely expresses the lyrics of not being able to handle pressure because you have no scars on your face.

The sound quality is kinda crap, but the running .gif the whole way is amusing enough.

8. “Easy Money”, An Innocent Man, 1983:

 Most of ‘An Innocent Man’ is a throwback to the 1950’s where the beginnings of rock and roll and doo wop were the name of the game. This song completely represents the former, as the song is properly timed to the fast pace of the main character who must surely have a big-time gambling problem. Fast-paced is also how a perfect opening song should be, and well, this kicked that album off. While it didn’t get a compilation album release, this song did play during the closing credits of the movie with the same name starring Rodney Dangerfield. Kind of like the movie, this song gets no respect at all!

This album definitely made some ‘Easy Money’ at the stores!

9. “Running on Ice”, The Bridge, 1986:

 A song of tempos and pathos, the opening from ‘The Bridge’ is a very solid affair on what would have been one of Joel’s weakest albums. The song deals with the topic of hand, one of restlessness and needing to escape from the pressures of life. Needing to rest from said pressures of life maybe of the more endearing traits of the song, as very few of Joel’s works truly have that feeling of out-of-control like this one does. The album should have added a prefix of, “Water Under,” because nothing much of memorable was on it at all (besides Matter of Trust and This is The Time).

Sound quality is iffy again, but his face accentuates what must have been like to record this track.

10. “No Man’s Land”, River of Dreams, 1993:

 To end this countdown, let’s feature a song that focuses on a beginning. The title track (notice a trend?) off
River of Dreams spends its attention on the politics on “modernizing” a town, whereas Joel sounds like one of those grumpy old men (that movie was released in the same year) who would sit on his lawn with a gun saying, “Hey punk, get off my lawn!” With lyrics of how untouched land is going to become “miles and miles of parking space”, the feeling at least upon this eye of the beholder is mutual. Back when I lived close to the Monroe area in New York, I noticed a revolution in the town, where vast lands upon the entrance of 17 and the NYS Thruway were suddenly going to become big shopping malls, full of restaurants and stores that people no longer had to travel 20 minutes to get access to. If anything, my reasoning of getting this song on this list is more of a personal stance, where I relate to the events of the track and that’s how I primarily grew up.

How poetic to end this, with a video of Billy on the David Letterman show singing this song. Could not get any more ironic! THERE’S CABLE NOW IN ZOMBIE TOWN!

 

In conclusion, we can all agree that sometimes the best stuff of a musician is not even a song that is agreed to be “great”. By going into the more obscure songs of artists, we can often find out unusual patterns of these people, but furthermore, also discover personal feelings that can often influence their work. With popularity of Hangover Pt. II and being a fan of this man’s work for many years, this list was a no-brainer for me, and I hope it broadens the outlook of his material for you.

The Video Game Entry: Sega Genesis

Boring Intro: Sometimes in this crazy world, there is nothing more relaxing, more social, or more entertaining than playing a good video game, whether it’s by yourself or with friends.
My current gaming credentials are as follows: I own a Xbox 360, slim, connected to a 37” Vizio with HDMI. I’m a Gold subscriber (pretty much have to be), with a controller, a headset, and about 10-12 games. Also where I live, there’s a Sega Genesis in the living room, and a Playstation 2 plus original Xbox downstairs.
Today, I am going to discuss the Genesis, the start of my gaming sub-culture.

Back in the 90’s, the Sonic character ruled, and it was no different in my family. Whether it was 2, 3, with or without Knuckles, Spinball, 3-D, you name it, that blue hedgehog’s innovative way kept creeping into the house.
One of my favorite memories of the Sonic games was when you would put the Sonic 2 or 3 cartridge in the Knuckles cartridge, and suddenly the original game (2 or 3) changed big time. Who knew in Chemical Plant Zone 1 there was a little cheat to get three extra lives, or who knew climbing up walls in 3 would get you extra big rings? Knuckles had the power, and that little red monster certainly kicked ass.

Of all the Sonic boss battles, none were as hard to beat (in my opinion) than the final boss of Sonic 2. It was impossible to hit, and mainly, one hit was death because of the dearth of rings available to you to grab. At least they somewhat “corrected” that in Sonic 4.
Did anyone else thing that Scrap Brain Zone from the first game was entirely way too difficult? Seriously, that level in its whole required the precision of a heart surgeon to get through without losing a life, much less a hit! Hitting some of those jumps correctly took a wing and a prayer to execute, and even then, it was sometimes impossible!
Another one of the more popular games in the house was Kid Chameleon. Released in 1992 to mild critical acclaim, this difficult side-scroller was interesting in it’s conventions.

For example, when you collect the diamonds, you really collect them for either protection or any of Kid’s alter-egos to get either more hit-points, lives, enemy wipeouts, etc. There’s a limit of 99, and when you try to collect them after that number, they “fall” off the screen.
Also, there were “wall” levels that continually scared me as a young one, where you have to outrun a spike-filled wall and avoid the traps. That was not easy, trying to not only do it as fast as possible, but also not get hit or anything!  Bloody Swamp was by far the worst of these levels, but after some trial and error, there’s a pattern (and alter ego) you need to possess in order to successfully go through it.

As Pink Floyd would say, “RUN… RUN…RUN….RUN…”

Another innovation was the “pods”, where depending on level, took to you to either the beginning of a level, another level entirely (mainly ‘Elsewhere’ levels), or just a little bit forward/backward.
This game was ingenious also in the fact that with a cheat code, you could warp from Blue Lake Woods II all the way to Plethora*, which is the last zone of the game. Where you see the asterisk, the cheat code under the Youtube embed!

An epic cheat code. DOWN-RIGHT-JUMP-ACTION at the same time, which by default, is the down and right buttons on the d-pad, b and c! Modify this cheat accordingly due to your controller setup!

 

Speaking of CHEATS, there is one more major one to discuss, a time warp cheat. First off, it requires you get 100,000 points. You complete the first two Blue Lake Woods levels, with all the bonuses (no hit, no prize, fast time, etc.). Then you need to do the first Highwater Pass with the same thing, but only get the Bezerker alter-ego at the beginning (this is a requirement). At the end of this level, you will have about 60K points, maybe a tad more. THEN, you get to the second Highwater Pass level. Go through it, but when you go downhill, you can go right or left. Go right, and up the platform with that green hand of death. There’s a pod, TAKE IT! You’ll go to a ‘Elsewhere’ level where with a hidden continue, you need to get the Cyclone alter-ego, which is the fourth block from the left on the top level of "hiding” blocks. Fly to the pod on the other side of the level, and it’ll take you to Under Skull Mountain I. Run and fly to a point where the ground is covered with pointy “dead bones”, if you catch my drift. There is a “hidden” block with a life ‘P’ above it. Either get it or skip it, but keep flying to the right, and up. There are 4 ‘P’s worth 10K of points (as in it says 10,000). Get all four P’s, and this happens:
 
That flash will transport you… ALL… THE… WAY to Woods of Despair I, which is approximately 2/3rd’s into the game! Cool ain’t it? After that, you’ll be back as Kid, but you get a alter-ego choice at the beginning. After that, you complete that level, and it turns out, you truly have more than ONE MILLION points!

A better example of what I was talking about. Insane, isn’t it?

One more game of smashing success I’ll tell in this edition is the Road Rash series. Between myself and my brother, we could never get enough of speeding bikes, abusing cops, and more importantly, abusing the riders whose mission was to take you down. While Road Rash I may not have much in the way of weapons (clubs), it’s a better “seat of your pants” racing game, where literally strategy will get you to your final destination.

Home of one of the most epic title menu tracks of all time!

Road Rash II has an awesome cheat code. Watch here:

What he doesn’t tell you is when you hold down the buttons, you hear the music slow down, and the main player goes, “YEAH!” When you hear this, the cheat is done correctly. Now you have unlimited nitros, and a top speed of 228 MPH. Good luck holding on in the slower categories!

#2 of the RR series also has more weapons (chains and I think mace), and Hawaii is a VERY slick track.
#3 is a little more lackadaisical. With more weapons, the driving style is not as engaging and while the bike customization is expanded, the vehicles themselves feel always 10 miles per hour slower than the competition.
Here’s a video of #3 at the snowy Germany track.

Running over that flag man is funny stuff!

While I could go on for days and days about how many great games there are for the initial Sega outing of systems, one does deserve mention for being the standard-bearer for which all racing games were compared to: Ayrton Senna Super Monaco II.

Racing in the Master category with a SEVEN SPEED manual is the only time you get to race with Senna in the first race!

When I was younger, all I knew how to do was ‘Automatic’, and severely lagged behind my brother, who would kick ass and take names with a seven-speed manual. 214 is faster than 198, that’s for sure!
As I got older though, I learned to race with the manual, and became a prodigy at this myself. I remember the first time I won at USA in a Serga with a seven-speed, and therefore went won to win all the races in the season and inherited the Madonna. A proud kid I was indeed, though emulators helped hone my skill.
In conclusion, there is one more story I’d like to tell, and it doesn’t even revolve around a game.
Back on Christmas in 2008, I was watching ‘Grumpy Old Men’ with my siblings. At the same time, we were pondering what to get our mother for her birthday, seeing as it falls on the second of January. We all though yeah a gift card was nice, but what other options could we do?
As time in the night went by, we were all thinking about the Genesis we had that went by the wayside in early 2004 because it, as you would hear from the Simpsons, “…died on its way back to its home planet.” By this point, we’d also hear from our mom about how she misses the Sega too.
So for her birthday, we all went in a Genesis with a ton of games to boot!
The look on her face and the jubilation in all of ours made it feel so worth it. It was as if a time warp happened, and all of us children were little again. Trading the controller back and forth on Kid Chameleon was a tradition that took place once again, and trying to get through all of Mega Bomberman without dying (or losing that infinite bomb card) was reborn again. 
So here’s to you Sega Genesis, a 16-bit gaming phenomenon from the golden years who deserves every bit the recognition you accumulated. 

Technorati Tags: sega genesis,16 bit,sonic,tails,knuckles,kid chameleon,road rash,mega bomberman,ayrton senna,super monaco,christmas,birthday