BBB Reviews: Bad Hair Day

Although “Alapalooza” reached Gold status and the music video was highly praised for a Grammy nomination, the album wasn’t exactly enamored by critics.

However, that didn’t stop Al from going back into the studio.

By the end of 1994, Al had his originals recorded. Songs like “Everything You Know is Wrong” and “The Night Went Crazy” were in the can. Just like “Off the Deep End”, Al was waiting for that “next big thing”, and no I don’t mean Brock Lesnar of UFC & WWE fame.

To show how intensive the look was, take a look at some of the stuff that wouldn’t see the light of day at the recording studio (albeit were performed in concerts):

• “The Alternative Polka” was supposed to have a snippet of Weezer’s “Buddy Holly”, but front man Rivers Cuomo forced Al to remove the splice from the polka. The liner notes of the LP acknowledged Weezer only because the notes were printed well before the album was finalized.
• An aborted song, “Gee, I’m a Nerd” was supposed to be a parody of “Free as a Bird”. Al asked Paul McCartney (you might remember from “Off the Deep End” told Al he couldn’t cover “Live and Let Die”) if he could parody it, but since the song was written by John Lennon, the final say had to go to Lennon’s widow Yoko. She said “Ono” to the parody.
• “Laundry Dry” was one of those rare occurrences where Al was going to parody the song (in this case “Come Out and Play”), but never got “permission” from The Offspring to do so. Although the song was never recorded, it did make concert appearances.
• Al wanted to parody U2’s ‘Numb’ with the lyrics coming from the Dr. Seuss book “Green Eggs and Ham”. Although U2 gave Al the go ahead, the Seuss estate had the final say and to that they said ‘nay’!
• Another ditched record was going to be a parody of "I’ll Be There For You” by the name of “I’ll Repair It for You (The Theme for Home Improvement)”. The very famous theme to the hit sitcom “Friends”, Al got permission from The Rembrandts to do said parody. However, Al got peacock-blocked by NBC, and thus it was scrapped.

There will be yet ANOTHER controversy regarding the album, but that will be covered in the lead-off track. Released in 1996, THIS is definitely, a “Bad Hair Day!”

1. “Amish Paradise”: So Volcano, the record label of Al’s recordings, went to Coolio and asked him if Al could parody “Gangsta’s Paradise”.

Volcano reportedly told Al he got permission. Coolio went to the Grammies and said pretty much otherwise, the parody desecrated the message of the parent song. Although Al wrote a letter of apology to the matter, Coolio still complained that he never got a royalty check for the parody. Years later, the two made up as Coolio approached Al at the 2006 CES (or Consumer Electronics Show) at the XM booth.

Enough about that backstory, to the track we must go!

As said earlier, Al mocked “Gangsta’s Paradise” with the subject matter of a lifestyle completely reversed.

With, “… (a) really cool hat and my homies agree I really look good in black fool,” Al discussed Amish lifestyle, and how it is “as primitive as can be” in comparison to the other states/towns around. Yes, there is a Gilligan’s Island reference, the second time Al would use this song in any capacity, with “Isle Thing” from UHF being the first.

The audio is bomb, the music video is downright epic. When you think of “Weird Al” Yankovic and music videos, this is NUMBER ONE not only in most fans’ opinions, but also it was the lead-off video on the DVD a few years back (also out of print on Amazon). 

Look for Florence Henderson! You did not raise the boy who kicked Al in the ass! Unfortunately no lyrics due to legal crap.

2. “Everything You Know Is Wrong”: Recently remembered mainly for Nostalgia Critics “Top 11 F*** Up” videos as a segue, this song is an originally worded song based on a style parody of They May Be Giants.

This song feels like only a song Al can write. It’s deliciously bizarre with a sequence of events only conjured up in that man’s mind. At the same time, a lot of these lyrics could wind up as headline news leads for “Midnight Star”!

Take a look at the widget, and then listen to the song on YouTube or wherever you go to.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Everything You Know Is Wrong lyrics

3. “Cavity Search”: The original is a song that was most famously featured in a Batman movie whose sentiments won’t last Forever.

A parody of "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me" by U2, it features Al going to the dentist. What should have been a normal checkup turns out to be a excruciating ordeal, complete with drills and x-rays for future appointments.

One of the songs that make you feel bad for having proper dental hygiene.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Cavity Search lyrics

4. “Calling in Sick”: Although it’s a style parody of Nirvana (perhaps in tribute to the fallen Kurt Cobain), it’s definitely another one-of-those from-the-mind of Al concoctions.

Al’s character in this song is a slacker, for a better term. Calling out for the twenty-seventh time, no one knows if it is lifetime or yearly, Al falsifies illness so he can get his “potent potables” done, so to speak.

I’m all up for the mental health day (not this year though), but this main character seems to be non-motivated self-righteous scumbag. From belly button lint to watching “Ernest Goes to Camp”, the only thing more “freer” than Al’s schedule of the day may just so be the position he has at that so-called “employment”.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Callin' In Sick lyrics

5. “The Alternative Polka”: For the 7th polka track, the set list is going to be designed to segue popular tracks of the day, with a whole mess of genres and themes. Let’s take a look at the contenders, shall we?

• "Loser" by Beck
• "Sex Type Thing" by Stone Temple Pilots
• "All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow
• "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails
• "Bang and Blame" by R.E.M.
• "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette
• "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" by The Smashing Pumpkins
• "My Friends" by Red Hot Chili Peppers
• "I'll Stick Around" by Foo Fighters
• "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden
• "Basket Case" by Green Day
• "Ear Booker Polka" by "Weird Al" Yankovic

The beginning of the track has a brief acoustic guitar riff, roaring into the Al-branded accordion-based “Wackyland”.

Looking at all these tracks, for me personally there are a lot of nostalgic moments hidden in, and thus the rose-tinted glasses are accused of making an appearance.

Even taking “them” off, I still find it a good polka. While not as good as “Off the Deep End” and not as obviously ambitious as “Bohemian Polka” (which admittedly had a whopping one song load), it still manages to piece everything together nicely. 

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - The Alternative Polka lyrics

Oh lookie, an easter egg!

Lost until a few years ago, revel in this, right now!

6. “Since You’ve Been Gone”: A song I included on my list of unsung Al songs a little bit back. Here’s the listing (it came in at #8):

By far the shortest song on this countdown at just a shade under a minute and a half, but wow what a piece it is. Essentially, it’s a song talking about how Al misses his girl, who broke up with him. To get his feeling across, Al uses his wonderful library of gross imagery/exaggerations to describe the internal trauma, “I dropped a two-ton bowling ball on my toes… shoved a red-hot cactus up my nose”. The ending though is the greatest contradiction I may have ever heard, “I feel almost as bad I did… when you were still here!!!!” May I also add this song was done ENTIRELY in a cappella, so no instruments or sound effects were used, it was ALL voice, just adding to the raw undertones already in play.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Since You've Been Gone lyrics

7. “Gump”: While in theory it sounds like an original, it’s an actual parody. This time of "Lump" by The Presidents of the United States of America.

The plot of the track couldn’t be any simpler. It’s the plot of the Academy-Award winning “Forrest Gump”. Complete with the buzz haircut, and asking JFK to pee, the song should have been included as a comedy bonus feature to the movie linked.

Stupid is as stupid does!

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Gump lyrics

8. “I’m So Sick of You”: Just like any other Al album, there’s a song on this album relating female troubles. Well, technically it’s the second one, but this one feels like a “been there done that” variety.

A style parody of Elvis Costello, this segment deals with how sick Al is of his girlfriend. Apparently she situates herself like a kindergartner, has no class, and has that voice akin to a “squeaky chalk sound”. This feels like the storm before the hurricane, as said hurricane would have been “One More Minute”.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - I'm So Sick Of You lyrics

9. “Syndicated Inc.”: Another television-themed song whose fate is not relegated to that hack “TV Album”, this parody is that of “Misery” by Soul Asylum.

According to the “family”, the syndicated programming on TV is all they would see. Whether it’s the classics (like Three’s Company & All in the Family) or the “new” programming (like Oprah and Wheel of Fortune), this family is devoted to these shows.

If anything, this feels like a song that would be a follow-up to “Cable TV”, but it would occur just before “I Can’t Watch This”. It’s the “TV Trilogy” as I would like to call it, because with all three songs, the characters in the plots are affected by either the introduction of cable, or the self-destruction of it. 

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Syndicated Inc. lyrics

10. “I Remember Larry”: Kind of like a redneck theme it presents, the song is a “lyricked” original but a style parody of Hilly Michaels.

Mainly the song is about a guy named Larry who does really nasty pranks, but supposedly all in good fun. Enter Al’s character. When he turns the tables, well, Larry dies.

It’s one of those songs that should have a music video done in flash or Claymation, because the over-the-topness of the gore and gags would compliment that medium.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - I Remember Larry lyrics

11. “Phony Calls”: TLC made the original, and no I don’t mean The Learning Channel.

A parody of “Waterfalls” by said TLC, the track is about the scary side of prank calling.

Of course, what good is a prank call song without a little cameo from Bart Simpson and Moe Syzlak from The Simpsons, eh? Not the greatest parody ever, but that Matt Groening-approved cameo always gives the song some sentimental value.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Phony Calls lyrics

12. “The Night Santa Went Crazy”: Wow, oh wow.

A style parody of ”Black Gold” by Soul Asylum and "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne, this is as gory and violent as any Al song can get.

It’s plot is as timeless as ever. Santa goes well off his rocker, and destroys the North Pole to the chagrin of the whole world. Reindeer sausage, and poor Dasher being slashed like Freddy Kreuger are just some of the unfathomable images in the track. Personally, I love this song to death. Apparently, there’s an extra gory version released on the B-side of “Amish Paradise”, and then unearthed for The Essential “Weird Al” Yankovic compilation, also downloadable.

A terrific flash video of the song. Al should make this one official himself!

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - The Night Santa Went Crazy lyrics

In conclusion, this is one hell of an album. Amongst Al’s tightest sets ever, and also up to this point in Al’s career the most successful LP he’s made (peaking at #14, and stayed on the charts until 1997). It doesn’t hurt that the first track became a legend, a lot of songs are terribly underrated, to the point where seriously the whole album could have been listed. This would be the penultimate album of the 90’s, as the next album would feature some running…