BBB Reviews: UHF: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack and Other Stuff

Instead of ‘Even Worse, Al’s last studio album actually was a rebound. Hitting a good spot on the Billboard charts, it seemed as if a creative surge was pounding through Al, and good music was the order of the day.
Little did the unsuspecting public (outside the Tulsa area primarily) know that Al and his long-time manager Jay Levey were planning on making a movie!
Shot for about five million dollars in 1988-1989, the movie known as UHF performed just well enough to earn the budget back and then some. Of course with any movie comes a soundtrack, and thus a jumbled mix of sounds and themes from the album about to be reviewed today.
Now before you all start thinking this is a bad album, I’m telling you it’s NOT! Judging by this list made not too long ago, I ranked this album #4 of all the albums Al ever made. Some of it sympathy but most of it deserved, UHF is a highly underrated set of Yankovic’s lyrical children. So now to the album!
1. Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies*: Of all the parodies that Al ever did, surprisingly this one caused a lot of commotion.
The parody of “Money for Nothing” by Dire Straits apparently was forced to have that Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies* title due to lawyer wranglings. In any case, at least a music video was able to be made from it!
Another thing to take note at is Mark Knopfler also did guitar for the track. Al quipped on DVD commentary that there was no duplicating the loose feel Mark had.
To set up the song as it was in the movie, you have Al’s character George Newman looking at old footage, mainly of said ‘Hillbillies’. The footage then delves into a computer-generated jam where Al voices Jed Clampett, explaining primarily the plot/purpose of the show.
As you can imagine, some of the lyrics from the show’s original theme do pop up here. “Swimming pools, mova-mova-mova-movie stars!”
Al always had a knack of starting albums strong, and bah gawd this is no exception!

On the actual track, Mark Knopfler lends his guitar making abilities due to Al thinking it would provide a looser feel to the tighter parodies that Al’s own band would create. Also, no lyrics widget unfortunately due to those BS copyright laws. I’ll also state that the single to this song was also released ONE DAY before I was born! :)

2. “Gandhi II”: It’s one of several tracks on the album that’s not really a song, but instead a small snippet of the movie.
Made for Channel 62 in the primetime slot, Gandhi II is “Mr. Passive Resistance” thrown around 180 degrees. Instead of having “peace”, Gandhi shows up with vengeance and ass-kicking on his mind. WATCH THIS!

“I’ll have a steak…medium rare…”

3. Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a Planet Near Mars: This song is an original, but at the same time feels VERY familiar.
While the beats are a little different and the lyrics are a little different, you can’t help this song just by the song title feels a lot like “Slime Creatures from Outer Space”. Just like the song mentioned, it revolves around creatures, this time hamsters, coming to Earth and terrorizing the land. Really, there’s nothing much to note besides that.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Attack Of The Radioactive Hampster From A Planet N lyrics
4. “Isle Thing”: This song is indeed a parody, that of “Wild Thing” by Tone Loc. It also is appears to be the first rap/hip-hop parody Al has done up to this point in his career.
In the song, Al’s fling introduces him to a show, we might have heard of it, called “Gilligan’s Island”. After this basic premise, it seems like the main character cannot stand the show at all. Sounded stupid, with Gilligan even stupider than that. Hey wait, wasn’t that the ORIGINAL complaints of the show?
Also, it seems that Al not only parodied the song, but also Tone Loc’s voice and referred to another one of his songs near the end, that of “Cold Funky Medina”.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Isle Thing lyrics
5. “The Hot Rocks Polka”: After taking a break from polkas in “Even Worse”, Al is back. This time however, he attacks one band instead of a bunch of the most relevant people at the time.
The target? ROLLING STONES BABY! Also notice that the title of this polka refers to a greatest hits album the Stones had at this time.
Here’s the loot:

• "It's Only Rock 'n' Roll (But I Like It)"
  
• "Brown Sugar"
  
• "You Can't Always Get What You Want"
  
• "Honky Tonk Women"
  
• "Under My Thumb"
  
• "Ruby Tuesday"
  
• "Miss You"
  
• "Sympathy for the Devil"
  
• "Get off of My Cloud"
  
• "Shattered"
  
• "Let's Spend the Night Together"
  
• "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction"
  
• "Ear Booker Polka" by "Weird Al" Yankovic

The main “polka” sound behind the music got heavily revamped, and it would be used in many of Al’s later (and better) polkas. Although the selection of songs is limited to one band, it’s actually a BADLY underrated track. All of those songs were done impeccably, and I couldn’t have agreed more with the book-ends of the track. I give this polka TWO THUMBS UP!
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - The Hot Rocks Polka lyrics
6. “UHF”: An original song, a style parody of “State of Shock” by The Jacksons, and with a lot of different people being parodied/stylized in the music video. I’m not going to go deep into that, but just the song itself.
One of very few “title tracks” Al ever did, UHF feels like a shameless self-promotion of selling to in-movie characters. “Don’t change the channel, don’t touch that dial, we got it all on UHF!”
Also, there are two versions of this song. The one on the album is essentially a “long-cut”, where two larger instrumental jams are stretched-out/faded later, as opposed to the singles version where those jams were cut short, and thus the running time went from a shade over five minutes down to a shade under four minutes!

Turns your brain to cottage cheese!

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Uhf lyrics
7. “Let Me Be Your Hog”: Mindless 0:17 rambling. On the DVD commentary, Al noted how he wanted to get "Kung Fu Fighting" in the movie. This should have occurred in the scene where Uncle Harvey, in his pool, was awaiting a call from Big Louie concerning a debt. The royalty price was way too high for the movie's budget ($12,000), so Al instead went to the studio and yelled out this piece.
8. “She Drives Like Crazy”: A parody of “She Drives Me Crazy” by Fine Young Cannibals.
It’s a pop rhythm with Al’s character complaining about how badly his girl drives. Simple as that.
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - She Drives Like Crazy lyrics
9. “Generic Blues”: While this song is lyrically original, the inspiration behind it doesn’t require a lot of imagination.
Think of it as Al’s love-letter to the “Blues”, pretty much that style of both rhythm and song made in Chicago back 30-40 years before this tune was even made! Add in your usual Al torture elements, and a classic is made!
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Generic Blues lyrics
10. “Spatula City”: Another commercial from UHF.
Apparently amongst the first footage shot for the movie, it’s about a store that sells, well, SPATULAS!

“Okay kids, let’s go!”

11. “Fun Zone”: This song is an instrumental theme to the “Stanley Spudowski’s Clubhouse” program in the movie. Apparently, it’s also the theme used at the beginning of EVERY Al concert, and it’s also the music you hear on the main menu of the Weird Al Yankovic - The Ultimate Video Collection. Also FYI: did you know that this song is also the theme for “Welcome to the Fun Zone”, a show originally written to replace Saturday Night Live?
12. “Spam”: This song is a parody of “Stand” by R.E.M., and revolves around, you guessed it, SPAM!
Essentially it’s an ode to that luncheon meat. While Al notes it’s made of ham and pork, there could also be mystery meat in there? What thoughtful lyrics! He also tells us about the tab on the can, which is pretty weird, but okay…..
It was a song destined for the Food Album. Ironically, Al would be a vegan after UHF.
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Spam lyrics
13. “The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota”: A style parody of “30,000 Pounds of Bananas” by Harry Chapin. This was #6 on my count down list I did, and here is what I wrote then:
(before anyone asks, no, they didn’t go to Spatula City)
This song gives birth to a somewhat-tradition of Al’s: Put your longest song LAST on the record! At nearly seven minutes, this song feels as long as the road trip the characters of this song make, as you guessed it, they travel to Minnesota to look at the biggest ball of twine in the whole wide world! A song I wish was somehow worked into the movie, it sounds like something promoted on that channel! The imagery, that of kids jumping around in the back seat asking “are we there yet” is some old-time nostalgia, that of 20 years to the former. And who wants to eat pickled weiners and diet chocolate soda? Yum? I DON’T KNOWWWWWWW! As the dad character, Al wonders (in paraphrase) of what the hell the point was with this ball of twine? After the gift shop expenditure, time to go home, and there is seven minutes gone! 
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota lyrics
In conclusion, this album is pretty underrated. Al is all over the map musically, Rap, rock, hip hop, pop, and even CHICAGO BLUES, get torn to shreds, but torn to shreds like a pork butt roasted in a BBQ joint.
Sadly though, this would be the second in three albums that wouldn’t rank high/not get certified ‘Platinum’ by the RIAA. It’s a shame, because while the audience of the movie exploded about a decade after release, this album never did. Please, do yourself a favor and get this! Even BB King says ‘Generic Blues’ is one of his favorite blues songs of all time!

30 Days of WWE Challenge Day 08- Favorite Angle

The Hart Foundation vs. America

As alluded to in yesterday’s challenge, 1997 was a great time to be a fan of the WWE. While it was having it’s ass kicked in the ratings, Vince and company kept marching to its own beat and not worrying about a thing.

This is probably the biggest reason why.

To summarize a significant portion of the challenge from yesterday, it all stemmed from a SINGLES feud between Stone Cold Steve Austin and Bret Hart. At Wrestlemania of 1997, the double turn occurred, and Bret was now the bad guy while Austin was the good guy.

Also alluded to was Bret re-uniting the tag team champions of brother Owen and brother-in-law Davey, and as such, the Hart Foundation was born anew.

Euro title match. Owen/Davey. Good match, even better result.

Focusing much of their hate on America and it’s philosophies, they never lost their eye on Stone Cold.

A funny thing happened along the way though, as not only did Jim Neidhart return, but also Brian Pillman.

However, the same night Pillman returned, Bret had an angle set-up where he was about to go to surgery.

Injured in a match overseas, Bret needed to have his knee scoped. So WWE setup an angle where Austin, after multiple attempts and a countdown clock, finally got Bret in the ring, whopped his ass, and kept him in his own Sharpshooter for a VERY long time.

While he couldn’t compete, he still spilled his guts on how Canada is a better nation than the US. The bile, in a non-vocal variety, happened still during the “Cold Day in Hell” event where Stone Cold faced off against Undertaker for the phenom’s WWE Championship.

An underrated match. Big time.

In a face vs. face match, the Harts were the outside rogues. Because of their ominous presence, the Undertaker was able to get the upper hand and win.

Another man entered the fray, and was always in the fray, but I never mentioned it until now.

For the May 26th RAW, Stone Cold and a tag team partner faced Owen and Bulldog for the tag team championship. That partner was Shawn Michaels, whose beef with Bret was well-documented. Under some conflicting interests, Austin and HBK won the tag titles, but then HBK just  kinda “disappeared”…. (it had to do with fighting with Bret)

Now with this in mind, just reference to the prior challenge for the rest of the story.

By the way, I got lazy and forgot to do this for a while so some of this will look rushed.

BBB Reviews: Even Worse

1988 was a make-or-break time for Mr. Yankovic. After two straight chart-ranking albums of “In 3-D” and “Dare to Be Stupid”, Al seemed to be on a hot streak. Only problem was that “Polka Party” crashed that streak, and then some. Not only was that album not certified ‘Platinum’, but was nowhere near the popularity of the prior works.

Enter “Even Worse”.

The cover in and of itself is a take-off of Michael Jackson’s “Bad”, but it mixes imitation of art and life with the appropriately philosophical ‘Even Worse’.

The big question here however is this: Will this album live up to its anticipatory lethargy, or will it be less painful than having a tooth pulled? Hey, I want this album to be good too, just that there isn’t lots of positive vibes here. So without further ado, HERE WE GO!!!!

1. “Fat”: One of those songs that is made even more legendary with the music video.

It’s a parody of “Bad” by Michael Jackson, which in this case is the title track of that particular album. As noted, the music video is even a spin-off of THAT video!

The premise of the song is really really simple. It’s about Al being fat and the stereotypes that go along with it. “The word is out, better treat me right, ‘cause I’m king, of cellulite!”

Speaking of the video again, apparently it took Al about three hours of makeup before shooting began to get that ‘fat’ look. Even if the shoot lasts just a few days, that’s more time spent on makeup than on actual shooting!

Ham on…ham on… ham on whole wheat, all right? Unfortunately, the lyrics widget can’t happen because of licensing bs. At least the video is good enough, I think…

2. “Stuck in a Closet With Vanna White”: In terms of subjects to base a song off of, well, this is a HOT one .

A true original, the song is pretty much about Al going to a shrink. Of course, Al tells the doctor REALLY out-there dreams, all of course tie in together with the title of the song.

Surprisingly, the track has got a really good rock sound behind it, an uncommon trait to most of Al’s originals.

Back to the original theme of the song, it would not be surprising however if this character was put in a straight-jacket and shipped off the nearest whacko basket. He might need some therapy…

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White lyrics

3. “(This Song's Just) Six Words Long”: This song is a parody of George Harrison’s “Got My Mind Set on You”.

However, the song is beyond a parody: It’s about as Gorilla Monsoon would call it, “A Pearl Harbor job,” on the original lyrics. Apparently, they’re sparse, and Al hammers that home.

This would be amongst the first times Al would attack a song from its foundation, and certainly not the last. There are more famous ones down the line, but this one is no slouch either.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - (This Song's Just) Six Words Long lyrics

4. “You Make Me”: Doing a little bit of research, this song is a lyrical original, but a style parody of Oingo Boingo.

Al’s character is the song is deeply disturbed character. Disturbed enough where the weirdness of people around him dictate his own behavior. There are plenty of examples in the lyrics.

Compared to the finale track of this album, it’s not as good as that one, but it’s definitely a unique sound nonetheless. Al was always known as an eclectic songwriter, and this is amongst the reasons why.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - You Make Me lyrics

5. “I Think I'm a Clone Now”: This is a parody, this time of “I Think I’m Alone Now” by Tiffany.

Al usually takes his lyrical parodies a full 180 of the original, and this is no different. This one revolves around Al being a clone of someone else!

There are many odd examples of this “clone”, like being at home while also being out of town, being his own best friend, etcetera.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - I Think I'm A Clone Now lyrics

6. “Lasagna”: A parody of "La Bamba", a popular folk song in Mexico most popularly adapted by Richie Valens.

It’s mainly about an Italian family, and their love of foods, the gargantuan serving sizes that go along with it.

With an accordion doing most of the work, a rare feat following the first album, the song’s rhythm feels like something that should have been featured in a comedy version of “The Godfather”. Sunday gravy will never be the same again!

Words to live by kids, “Capisce paisan, Capisce paisan!”

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Lasagna lyrics

7. “Melanie”: A true original, this song is about a stalker following around his title-track neighbor.

There are a lot of lyrics in the song for four minutes, and they get quite uncomfortable very fast. Notice how I wrote how Al’s character in the song is a stalker. Geez, he looks in her window washing herself in the shower with soap! Eeck!

Wanna now determination? He tattoos her name on his forehead and jumps out the window because she doesn’t want him. Eh, I don’t blame her.

I’m surprised there wasn’t a rape attempt somewhere in there. Very disturbing song to listen to quite frankly, however that’s an endearing trait and not a slight.

 

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Melanie lyrics

8. "Alimony": This song is not only a parody of the lyrics, but the STYLE as well! It’s a parody of “Mony Mony” by Billy Idol, but the LIVE version and not the studio version! You know what this song beat out to be #1 on the charts? “I Think I’m Alone Now”, and therefore, I think is the first time where Al parodied TWO #1 songs in the same album!

Long story short, this song was featured in my Top 10 list a while back, so here is the transcript of that:

While it’s a parody, it reflects nothing of the track its life owes its existence to. “Mony Mony” by Billy Idol was a track made almost exclusively for clubs, “Alimony” is a sad tale about a man getting everything yanked off his back because of a divorce. Keep in mind, Al didn’t get married FOR THE FIRST TIME until a decade or so later, so this song was pretty much made for fun. “Workin’ three jobs just to stay in debt now.” That’s probably the least of his worries, as his car, and even his toothbrush are taken because of said “divorce”. A genuine Al torture song, but not in terms in gore and literal guts, but of hardship and figurative guts. The literal guts would be in the form of “Good Old Days” from the same album.

 

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Alimony lyrics

9. “Velvet Elvis”: While it’s an original in the lyrical sense, it is a style parody of ‘The Police’.

An underrated tune, it’s really an ode to a picture of Velvet Elvis. Worth more to him than a Rembrandt or Van Gogh, Al’s life will never be the same again because of this image in his life.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Velvet Elvis lyrics

10. “Twister”: Short entry here, it’s a style parody of The Beastie Boys, and a ode to the game of Twister. Most of the lyrics talk about the different color combos, made from MB. Seriously, it’s only one minute long!

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Twister lyrics

11. “Good Old Days”: Capping this album is an unprecedented THIRD style parody in a row. The object of humor this time is of James Taylor, and the folk themes that man brings.

However, I don’t think Taylor would ever become a psychopath like Al’s character did here.

In an ode of nostalgia, this song deals with, well, good old days. Whether it deals with apple pies being made, or torturing rats with a hacksaw, it seems like it’s being told from a prison cell point of view. He evens disfigures his old girlfriend Michelle, which may have been the crush Al needed before “Melanie”. The whole song sounds like that motto, “It’s the quiet ones you have to watch!”

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Good Old Days lyrics

Conclusion: This album is of false advertising. However, it’s the false advertising that actually works in Al’s favor.

After the bummer of PP (get it, because the album was pissy….) Even Worse is an album that while you can say ‘EW’ at a lot, can’t help but deny that it’s a refreshing album.

Three albums in three years would burn out even the best of musicians, and Al knew this early enough so he wouldn’t do that again. The result here is a good set list that goes everywhere in theme, lyric, parody, style, and rhythm. Recommended definitely, even though it’s not the best of his works.

An Idiot’s Blatantly Unofficial Guide to Blu-Ray!

Whether you’re here for an upgrade, or here because you need to do a little bit more research, today you’re going to get an education.

You see, like Robert Wagner about reverse mortgages, there are myths and untruths about Blu-Ray that need to be debunked/clarified. There are also multiple ways to enter the format, and it is surprisingly cheaper than you think.

So without further review, let’s get to cracking! This is “AN IDIOT’S BLATANTLY UNOFFICIAL GUIDE TO BLU-RAY!”

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A (Slight) History

Do you know that Blu-Ray’s venture into the world is somewhat similar to VHS?

Before you start raising the pitchforks and fiery stacks of hay, let me explain!

When VHS hit the scene in the mid-to-late 1970’s to compliment the booming home video market, it had competition in the form of a format called Beta.

There’s also 8MM, no not the horrible Nicholas Cage movie, but that would be quickly ignored.

Although Beta was technologically superior, there were some issues holding it back, like inferior advertising and slower manufacturing. For more on this issue, please click here.

With VHS more versatile and marketable, it ensured Beta slept with the fishes, and for the next decade or so defeat almost all newcomers and win the lion’s share of the market.

That was until DVD came along.

Astounding picture quality, unparalleled “preserving”, the introduction of bonus material, and the fact that it replicated a theater experience much more than VHS made DVD the top dog in the early 2000’s, and thus began VHS slow descent to death.

Of course, with an act like DVD, what was going to be the follow-up?

With that in mind, there were two contenders.

From Toshiba, weighing in at up to 30 gigabytes (GB) a disc, here is HD-DVD!

From Sony, weighing in at up to 50 gigabytes, this….is…BLU-RAY!

Kind of like the Beta/VHS battle, one brand won it all because of versatility not only in larger disc space, but also the fact that more movie studios (like Sony/Disney, etc.) were willing to back up that particular brand. If you’re reading this, you may know by know that with no doubts, the winner is the blu guy!

However, let’s not forget BD (shorthand for Blu-Ray Disc) won this “war” back in 2008. It’s market share is still low for a relatively new format, but discs and players are taking up more of the home video market everyday. So let’s take a look of what would make an effective setup for you and/or your family.

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Blu and You

With flat screen/widescreen televisions the norm instead of the exception, that alone has changed the landscape considerably in home viewing of movies.

One site this blogger frequents, The Digital Bits, made one hell of a guide to set up your TV look it’s best with the anamorphic widescreen format. Please visit this guide here. In summary, the article shows you the proper way to set up your player to make widescreen movies look, well, widescreen.

Now that you’re back here, let’s show you the things you will need for the best Blu-Ray experience, on practically any budget.

1. You Will Need a Flat TV.

One of the main reasons why BD was invented here folks. To accentuate how the times changed, these flat TV’s are pretty much the ones sold in stores now with the tubes pretty much dead. With 720p* and 1080p* sets, the quality of the set AND an applicable Blu-Ray movie will make a BIG difference. Keep in mind, your normal DVD plays at 480i, maybe 480p with a S-Video cable.

*: The “p” denotes progressive scan in an image, while an “I” means interlaced.  The 720/1080 before the “p” or “I” means the amount of pixels in an image. 720p is all you’re going to notice up to about 37 inches. The 1080p difference really only becomes effective at the 40” screens and higher. Be aware of that, and that the costs of these TV’s are comparable to those of tubes about 10-20 years ago.

Essentially you’re going from this big and bulky thing to…

 

… this, a sleeker and much lighter screen that will help you evolve the way you know media!

2. You Will Need a HDMI Cable.

The HDMI cable is perhaps of the one greatest technological innovations of our time. Instead of having three prongs (yellow for video with red and white being audio) for composite RCA jacks, or even FIVE for the component cables, the HDMI is a “all-in-one” cable where both the video and audio are transmitted from the player to the set. The results are amazing.

What a basic cable looks like:

However, there is a catch: the cost.

When you go to a retailer, like Best Buy, they will charge an absurd amount of money on a cable that no doubt will deliver the same quality as a cable that costs fractions less.

For example, this is the AmazonBasics High Speed HDMI Cable (6.5 Feet / 2.0 Meters) - Supports Ethernet, 3D, and Audio Return [NEW MODEL]. At the time of this writing, it is a mere $7.99, and quite the bargain.

For the other side of the argument, here is a Belkin - 6' HDMI Cable – Black. It’s a cable made probably with the same quality and specs as the Amazon cable above. At time of writing, how much does it cost? $39.99, and way too much for a cable of that esteem.

Lesson here folks? The “cheaper” cables will serve you as well as the “premium” cables. Only difference is that the “cheaper” cables will leave your wallet fatter, just as it should be.

3. Pick your Poison (aka, What Player to Get?):

This one no doubt will trip up a lot of new customers. There are tons of varieties of these things out, and it’s impossible to gauge what is appropriate to have. Well, here I am to give you some scoop!

For one, think about the basic purpose. Are you ready to watch just movies, stream movies, or play some video games?

a. If you’re here for video games, then guess what, the answer is quite simple.

PlayStation 3 160GB System will deliver not only a immersive game experience with some of the most imaginative original titles around, but also features a Blu-Ray optical drive & built-in wireless for internet connection. Coupled with a free PlayStation Network subscription and a few games/movies, it’s elementary from here. Grab a HDMI cable from the Amazon link provided above, and for about $300 (or roughly half the cost of the original PS3), you have the total package. And yes, the PSN is back for anyone who knows about their problems.

b. Now that’s out of the way, let’s get to the other two purposes of viewing and streaming movies. That’s where the set-top boxes come into play.

A typical Sony set-top player.

Now before ANYONE raises their hand, one MAJOR misconception needs to be cleared.

BLU-RAY PLAYERS CAN PLAY DVD DISCS! DVD PLAYERS CANNOT PLAY BLU-RAY DISCS!

Okay, with that out of my system, let’s continue.

As mentioned, there are multiple functions/features in these players that could make it difficult to make an informed decision. With that in mind, let’s take a look at a few of them.

For one, there is the fact that EVERY Blu-Ray player needs to have an internet connection. Unlike DVD players which are relatively low-tech, these players are very high-tech, and need constant firmware updates to recognize features played in newer and newer BD discs.

Some units, like this VIZIO VBR122 Blu-ray Player with Wireless Internet Apps, have wi-fi built-in so the player can read the wireless router (the same one plugged into your computer), and download the updates and/or BD-Live updates that way.

However, not all players, like…

Homie the Clown, play like ‘dat.

If you plan on getting a built-in wi-fi unit, you don’t have to read this next part. However, some BD units, like this Vizio VBR120 Blu-Ray Disc Player - Black are internet-capable but need a device called a ‘dongle’ put into a USB port in order to read the internet.

Companies, like Samsung, are going to try to up-sell you an expensive unit like this Samsung WIS09ABGN LinkStick Wireless LAN Adapter . These usually go for about $70, and for a device that only reads the internet and nothing else, that’s a rip off in and of itself.

A product like a Xtreamer WiFi Adapter Dongle USB Wireless N Antenna for example, is sold for a fraction of the above yet can read wi-fi like a charm (for most).

Be aware however that some players are extremely sensitive to the external hardware you use. Some players may force your hand on getting the more expensive product for compatibility. As always, do your research and make sure that “x” will work with “y” player.

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Okay, we’re all on the same page now? Good!

No matter which style of Blu-Ray player you’re going to get, all decisions made should not be made “spur of the moment”. Only good ol’ fashioned research will do the trick, and of course if you have services such as Netflix or Amazon Instant Streaming, then look for those features included too.

One more small thing would be that new-fangled feature called 3D. Only a small percentage of TV’s have them, yet almost all new BD players have this capability in them. Unless you have a 3D set or have the affinity to upgrade, don’t worry about those glasses-required players yet.

To top off this part of the guide, most players are in the range of $90-$140. With the information posted above, the prices will fluctuate depending on features and internet capability out-of-the-box.

4. The MOVIES, MOVIES, AND….MOVIES!

Like a bit character in a Looney Tunes cartoon, now it’s time to see, “What’s the hubbub, bub?”

Long story short, it’s a evolutionary revelation.

Blu-Ray’s biggest selling point is that it is the truest replication of the theater experience inside your home. With smooth operating frame-rates of 24 frames per second (as opposed to 30 frame per second for DVD or video quality), the discs truly view like film.

Some people think that the only movies that would truly be representative of this format are the newer movies, mainly the action ones.

Those people are sadly mistaken.

As Blu-Ray took off, so did the renewed need for meticulous restoration of older film elements. With companies like Lowry at the helm, fans of movies are rest assured that their favorite movies are going to get the clean-ups and/or restoration they so richly deserve.

Also doesn’t hurt if the quality of the film is as representative of the quality of the film stock. For this guide I won’t get too much into it, but I will note that certain movies of certain eras (like Technicolor classics of the 30’s) will look better than others (like 80’s stocks of Eastman Kodak).

A sample of “The Adventures of Robin Hood” on Blu-Ray, courtesy of DVD Beaver. Note the black bars on either side, that’s to note that the aspect ratio here is 1:33, or standard full-frame. To fill that whole frame, it’d need to be a 1:78 ratio, or what you see on HD feeds on television. Likewise for a 2:35 aspect ratio, the bars would be on top and bottom of the image.

To really compare the quality of BD to DVD, visit this site called DVD Beaver. The man who runs the site is a genuine lover of cinema, and each of his reviews reek of that. The real meat of this site for this blog is the comparison between the two formats on a singular title. For example, look at Batman Begins. Without any real descriptors, the differences are obvious, even to one who doesn’t have an eye for film stock.

Another thing I should note, is that only upgrade portions of your collections where it is applicable. A movie like I Love You, Beth Cooper [Blu-ray] isn’t warranted of an upgrade, yet a movie like Tropic Thunder (Unrated Director's Cut + BD Live) [Blu-ray] not only benefits from an upgrade to Blu-Ray, but you’d be amazed of pointing out little details on seen on DVD.

As for the sound quality, that’s a little bit, but not much of, an issue. With uncompressed audio featured on BD, even in a regular TV setup, it’s a step-up from your normal DVD. However, the real benefit comes from an actual 5-7 channel setup where the little separations and anomalies become really apparent.

Imagine putting those around the living room? Be prepare to bass-proof your floors!

 As you get accustomed to Blu-Ray, you’ll also notice that this format isn’t a budget breaker like it once was. For example, you go to Amazon, type in any movie released on both DVD and Blu-Ray formats. ‘Gran Torino’ has multiple DVD versions, and one BD. The BD is $10, while the Clint Eastwood version of that film is 7, regular widescreen is $13, etc.

Also it seems that with almost all new releases, companies are releasing their products in something called “combo packs”. Housing multiple copies of the film, mostly in a combination of DVD/Blu-Ray/Digital Copy format, it’s a reasonably priced alternative for people about to upgrade while keeping versatile options in check, like playing movies on the computer or media device.

Toy Story 3, one available release of MANY. As you can see, it’s a 4 disc package, and at Amazon, can be purchased on the cheap in the MARKETPLACE!

Knowing how to shop for Blu-Ray, especially on Amazon and its Marketplace, will get you prices for movies that was once only imaginable for DVD.

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Conclusion!

Whether you were thinking of an upgrade, or here because you need to do a little bit more research for the hell of it, you definitely received an education on this subject matter. While it’s important to get the best possible product, it’s also just as important to get the best possible BUY along with that product. Although the anticipation of upgrading might get you ‘blu’ at first, I hope this guide made it a ‘ray’ of light to get through. Thank you for your time.

BBB Reflects on George Carlin

(Author’s Note: While my blogs are mostly PG in nature, this one has more foul language/references than normal. If you’re sensitive towards this, then leave now. If you’re not, then enjoy/appreciate the show!)

Exactly three years ago today, the world lost perhaps its greatest comedian. On June 22nd 2008, George Denis Patrick Carlin, whose career spanned more than fifty years across all sorts of mediums, passed away at the age of 71 due to heart failure.

If George himself had to comment on the way he passed, he’d note two things. First off, he’d probably why it took so long, because number two, he had THREE prior heart attacks and technically he had a fourth leading to the heart failure. As the twisting of the old saying goes, “The fourth time’s the charm!”

Now it goes beyond saying this won’t be a full-on biographical piece because, well, he wrote his own autobiography to supplement three books of comedic material.

However, I will tell you how this certain comedian has affected this blogger’s life, kind of like a modified Ken Burns documentary.

My earliest moments of Mr. Carlin can be owed to something called HBO on Demand. In 2004, when this sort of thing was still kind of new, my parents subscribed to the service mostly because they wanted to catch up on ‘The Sopranos’ and ‘Sex in the City’.

What they didn’t realize was that their children, whose youngest was now about 15, was about to stumble across their favorite comedian/entertainer.

If I remember correctly, the first special I remember seeing of his might have been ‘Complaints and Grievances’, which at this point was also his newest material.

While he was “thinking” of suggestions to help the government combat terrorism in the form of the F.A.R.T squad, he also made a list of “People who Oughta Be Killed”.

“Nicky, Vinny, and Tony beat the living shit out of Kyle, Todd, and….. TUCKER!”

For my birthday that year, I made a Amazon wish list to my mom and dad and this item came up. Surprisingly, they got it, and jumping ahead a little bit, ‘Jammin’ in New York’ off that disc is the special I’m watching while writing this.

Why you ask?

In my opinion (and his, from his autobiography), ‘Jammin’ is his best work. Originally aired on HBO in 1992, this special felt like the comedian equivalent of a centipede becoming a butterfly, but only in a harsher, more aggressive sense.

From the prior special of “Doin' It Again” (whose CD equivalent is a big-ass label of Parental Advisory), it seemed like Carlin’s material took a major swing. In addition to more straight-up political material found on “What Am I Doing in New Jersey?”, there were more crude sexual and analytical/philosophical material that while lost some fans, made more at the same time.  “Again” seemed like a fine tune before the big day, although that special also comes highly recommended from me.

“Jammin’” is one of those works of material that every stand-up album should aspire to be. George zeroes in on his material like a hawk on unsuspecting prey, and the results are glorious.

For example, his opening bit is about “Rockets and Penises in the Persian Gulf”. Essentially, this material deals with the then-war that H.W was fighting. “This will not be another Vietnam! We’re not pulling out! We’re going all the way!” Immediately, Carlin points out that the President was using the sexual slang of a thirteen-year-old to describe his foreign policy.

Nearly 20 years later, NOTHING has changed. This material has aged better than Ann Margaret from “Grumpy Old Men”.

Skipping around a little bit, about fourteen minutes into the show comes my all-time favorite Carlin bit. Lasting an astonishing SEVENTEEN minutes, “Airline Announcements” deals with hypocrisies and double-standards in the airline industry, not only with flights but also with dialogue used on pre-flight descriptions, airline food, etc.

Be prepared to be amazed. This is probably the best stand-up you’ll ever hear, and this is coming from someone who doesn’t mind Comedy Central stand-up on Fridays! Also note the facial expressions. They make the DVD’s fully worth it!

“Get on the plane, get on the plane! I say FUCK YOU, I’m getting IN the plane! In the plane! Let Evel Knievel get on the plane, I’ll stay in here with you folks in uniform, there seems to be less WIND in here!”

If you think the special ends it’s good material there, you’re sadly mistaken.

George, while re-using some old ditties, makes fun in an original way of certain eating diseases in America.

“Only in America can make up the disease of BULLEMIA! This is the only country where we have people looking in the dumpsters looking for a peach pit, and we have other people eating a nice meal and puking up intentionally!”

Again, this material has aged really well. As well as the treatment he gives on golf courses being demolished so homeless shelters can be built in their place.

“It’s homelessness, it’s HOUSElessness!”

Just because I really want to put it in here due to me being a NASCAR fan, he notes how auto racing is the only thing where you can see a 23 car collision and not be in the son of a bitch. Well, here’s one!

“…Clint Bowyer’s on fire!”

His finale deals with how the planet will deal with us, and be even better than okay when we’re all gone. Very philosophical, he notes how we’re all the planet’s children and needed us to do certain things. “The big electron, whoooOOOOOooooooo"…”

Seriously, after I saw this special  for the first time, I had to listen to it. And I was STILL as mesmerized as the prior watching. If even you’re barely a Carlin fan, OWN THAT SPECIAL!

As a side-anecdote, this special had such the lasting impact it served as majority of my final project in my website-making class in high school back in 2007. Although I got a 95 on it mainly due to lack of “flash”, it still made my teacher laugh at my work the hardest.

In not much more detail, I think Carlin’s stuff between 1988 (‘Jersey’)-1996 (‘Back in Town’) is his best stuff. It’s not the “hippy dippy” stuff like his 60s through mostly radical-80s material, but its also not as darkly depressing as most of his later works would become. There’s a balance reached in creativity and execution that just makes all those specials incredibly joyous to listen to.

From Margaret Thatcher wearing a dildo (I’m not making that up kids), to Mickey Mouse stuffing his hand down Goofy’s pants (again, his words not mine), Carlin was as equally silly as serious, and thus only compliments the point of creative balance.

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At this time, I would also acknowledge I had the privilege of watching George perform. It was November 5th, 2004 at the Mid-Hudson Civic Center in Poughkeepsie, New York.

It was his material leading up to the “Life is Worth Losing” special, which would be recorded about a year later.

While I’ve been mostly positive about his work, this material was actually amongst his worst. Unrelentingly dark and crude, it seemed as if he was in a creative flux/he was getting old, and therefore made it feel ominous the whole way through.

That being said, George’s worst work is still much better than most comedians’ best. At least “Losing” gave us this:

Modern man for the modern times!

His last special, “It’s Bad for Ya”, was a bit brighter in the material. Instead of being somewhat afraid of being older, he embraces it like a lost child.

Surprisingly enlightening! Fuck is a synonym for “fellow”.

While it was saddening that it would be his last special, at least he didn’t end with ‘Life’. That would have been a real bummer.

Another solid memory of Carlin’s career from my view was when I got the album “A Place For My Stuff”. There were multiple ‘Announcement’ tracks, with one in particular catching my attention.

Dealing with a Saturday morning television show, it talked about starving Indians walking through Utah in horrible weather only to find they don’t live there. The topper was this, “And next week, don’t forget to watch Ranger Dan and his big dog Dick, or Ranger Dan and his big dog dick!” Such a line apropo of nothing, I couldn’t help but show my brother this, and his reaction was more hysterical than mine!

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When I learned the news of Carlin’s passing, I just came home from the NHRA Supernationals in Englishtown, New Jersey. That day was already quite sad, because the NHRA community lost Scott Kalitta due to a horrifying crash the day before. So to learn a talented racer and my favorite comedian dying within 24 hours of each other was quite the emotional trampling for yours truly.

However, instead of truly mourning his loss, I celebrated his tenure of existence. He gave us more than 50 years of entertainment, 14 HBO specials with even more albums than that, yet he stayed as relevant as ever throughout.

He breaks his own living day record. Good job!

So here’s to you Mr. Carlin, “The Icebox Man”, who has since entered heaven with Rice Krispies yelling, “Snap, Crackle, Fuck Him!”

30 Days of WWE Challenge Day 07- Favorite Stable

The Hart Foundation

Back when I lived in my old hometown of Arden, my parents subscribed to Cablevision. On this provider, a wonderful little channel popped up, channel #512 if I remember correctly, and it was called WWE 24/7 (now it’s renamed Classics on Demand).

One of the main features was the Monday Night War presentation. Every two weeks, a new week would be released. Hosted by Michael Cole, whose main role was to introduce and perhaps fill in historical gaps, the shows were largely unedited and really made you feel for nostalgia.

Not even the N.W.O could make me feel as nostalgic for the good ol’ days as this reaping of the Hart Foundation.

Going back to WrestleMania 13, where Stone Cold Steve Austin and Bret Hart clashed for finality in a “I Quit” match. Stone Cold bled like a horse, and Bret locked on Austin in the sharpshooter. That ending with Shamrock calling for the bell, led to the most famous double-turn of all time, as perennial good guy Bret stomped his now evil foot into suddenly good guy Austin. While that was developing for a month or two, the fact that WrestleMania hatched the dual turns made the biggest stage of them all notch one more accolade.

Meanwhile, Bret’s brother Owen was clashing with his brother-in-law and co-tag team/European champion Davey Boy Smith. The two set off in a European Championship match, and it looked to be a replication of the classic they had in Germany a month prior.

However, Bret physically separated the two and asked for both men to put aside their differences and something beautiful took place. Sure it was a heel moment, but dammit I related to the fact of that brotherly bond that would never break.

Thus, the Hart Foundation STABLE was born.

Add in Jim ‘the Anvil’ Neidhart and Brian Pillman to the mix, we had a war between not only Hart and Austin escalating, it became a multi-nation war as Canada vs. USA went to the forefront.

The highlight of this all transpired at the Canadian Stampede In Your House PPV in Calgary, Alberta (Canada) in the Saddledome.

The Hart Foundation faced Stone Cold’s team that had himself, Ken Shamrock, Goldust, and the Road Warriors. As you can imagine, this match was crazy, and the fans even more so.

It’s not the full match, but the sentiments are exact.

While Bret Hart would win the WWF Championship at Summerslam the next month, it was actually the beginning of the end of the stable.

Add in D-Generation X, another heel stable, making the Hart Foundation look somewhat-tweenerish. Also add in Brian Pillman’s untimely death, and then Bret’s departure from the WWF, and suddenly the group just…died.

Although that last part was abrupt, let me remind you that the Hart Foundation was one of the reasons why WWF, though it didn’t show in the ratings, had consistently better programming than WCW. It was compelling, unpredictable, and it was truly “must-see” TV.

I hate Time Warner cable for not carrying 24/7 darn it!

30 Days of WWE Challenge, Day 06 - Favorite Tag Team

Road Warriors (aka Legion of Doom)

For a feel of the truly retro, this is the first category where I decided to go back to what they call “the good ol’ days”.

Tag team wrestling in sports-entertainment now is pretty much non-existent. Most of the teams now are thrown-together, either for the hell of it or for storyline purposes.

However, the team I selected for this day was, is, and always will be a team (sorry Bret for ripping ya off).

Raised in the mean streets of Chicago, Joe Laurinaitis and Mike Hegstrand, the Road Warriors, are the only team perhaps EVER to start on top and end on top.

Back in the early 80’s NWA (and no not the rap group), this team was definitely not what the crowds were used to. Instead of “everyman” physiques with methodical pacing, this team had a pair of Herculean bodies with a smash-mouth style that threw the tag ranks on their heads. With Paul Ellering at their side, they were as Joe called it, "…bad guys masquerading around as good guys.”

Not only did they win gold in NWA, but also in their stints in AWA and then WWE.

However in WWE’s first stint, that being 1990-1992, Hawk’s problems of excessive partying really started to become a hindrance to the duo.

Apparently after Summerslam 1992, Hawk stayed in London, joined the Hell’s Angels, and gave notice.

After a couple of years, they lived to forget and forgive and forged a second career.

They had a short but successful run in WCW, and then the duo made a second run in WWE.

While they won the tag titles again, they were definitely not as dominating as they once were. They lost to the likes of the New Age Outlaws (Billy Gunn and Jesse James) and the Disciples of Apocalypse (Skull and 8-Ball, who had Paul Ellering in their corner).

After a debacle of making fun of Hawk’s drunk-ness on air, the whole team was broken apart again. Apparently it was the end until a one-night comeback in 2003 when the LOD lost to Kane and RVD in a tag title match on RAW.

Shortly after that match, Hegstrand suffered a heart attack and died. The Road Warriors, at least the original incarnation, were officially done.

Although Joe would make a new “Road Warriors” duo with a young lad named Jon Heidenreich and win the WWE Tag Team Championships (Smackdown brand), it couldn’t hold a candle to the original, and after Hurricane Katrina struck Heidenreich’s hometown of New Orleans, Heidenreich left the WWE and Animal made the worst SINGLES heel run in a while.

Even those later missteps are forgivable because the original team, of Hawk and Animal, were probably the most innovative tag team in their day, and made SERIOUS bank wherever they went.

30 Days of WWE Challenge Day 05: Favorite Promotion

SMACKDOWN

I know this is a WWE challenge, and therefore demised promotions like WCW and AWA are not eligible. While some people may make a claim for RAW, ECW, Superstars (if that’s a brand), not one brand of the WWE got me more into the product than that of SMACKDOWN, the one that aired on THURSDAYS.

As you may refer to prior blog entries, the first episode of WWE programming I saw cover to cover was that of RAW on July 22nd, 2002.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t catch some pretty damn good moments before then.

For example, I remember seeing Rey Mysterio debut in WWE against Chavo Guerrero, and having a solid contest. Keep in mind this was before I knew both were in WCW, so I knew nothing of the backgrounds of both men beforehand.

Speaking of Mysterio, I can’t remember if it was that week or a week or two later, but I remember very clearly that the master of the 619 did a leap off the cage onto Lance Storm and William Regal after a hellacious Chris Jericho/Edge contest.

Fast forward to September or so.

Brock Lesnar, hopping into Stephanie McMahon’s limo as the Undisputed WWE Champion, was/is being a monster heel. Undertaker was the elder stateman veteran who put anyone in their place. There was also what they called ‘The SMACKDOWN Six’, comprising of Kurt Angle; Chris Benoit; Edge; Rey Mysterio, and Los Guerreros (Eddie and Chavo).

It seemed like even “off” nights were better than most shows now. Great matches were on display, and the feuds Lesnar were in were INTENSE!

Not going too long or draggy here, I will say my favorite match of this brand came on September 26th, 2002 when Eddie and Edge culminated their singles feud in a classic no-disqualification match. The Edgucution from the top of the ladder to the ring below was one of the sickest things I thought I ever saw. I became a big fan of both men’s work after that one.

Part 1

Part 2. SICK ENDING ALERT!

In conclusion, this era of SMACKDOWN was a golden age. New guys were stepping up to the plate and complimenting the drawing power of the veterans. It was exactly what I needed to become a full-time WWE fan.