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Just like how Weird Al waits for the “next big thing”, it took me quite a while to get to this review right off of “Running with Scissors”.
As we left you, Al went to Albuquerque to have a strange adventure full of inadequacies and pathos. 11+ minutes and without the full lyrics in the CD liner, ‘Albuquerque’ was a sweepingly epic track to conclude what was a sweepingly epic album.
That was 1999.
Now we come to 2003 and Poodle Hat, an album which knows full well it has something to live up to.
Originally, I felt really mixed about the album. While I thought it started out strong, some of the songs in the middle were songs I didn’t particularly enjoy, like ‘Wanna B Ur Lovr” and “Ode to a Superhero”.
However, there’s a reason why I do these reviews subjectively. With a lot of these albums, it’s like I’m viewing them for the first time with what they were “supposed to be”, as in I finally researched what was their influence.
Speaking of influence, Al’s record over the last decade and a half of making albums has been based off of the “next big thing” as noted to earlier. For ‘Scissors’ it was parodying the first prequel Star Wars flick. As for the ‘Poodle’, it was a red-hot Eminem.
Without further ado, let’s jump into it. By the way, that was Al’s legitimate poodle on his head!
1. Couch Potato: Imagine instead of basing a plot of a movie, base the plot off your tube with the extreme amount of programming available.
“Lose Yourself”, the original by Eminem, was literally a plot interpretation of the hit movie “8 Mile”, which Marshall Mathers stars as pretty much himself.
“Couch Potato” is, at least in my translation, what if Alex from ‘A Clockwork Orange’ was forced to watch TV all day in substitution of trying to cure his violent tendencies.
Basic plot of the song is simple. “Look, if you had, one shot, to sit on your lazy butt, and watch all the TV you ever wanted. ‘Til your brain turned to mush. Would you go for it, or just let it slip?”
Right off the bat it’s a great parody because that first part immediately goes for the subject matter, as for the next four minutes, Al batters that first verse in. Until I did some research, I literally never thought of it that way before! That’s what the ‘Slim Shady’ did in the original as well!
No popular shows/channels of the time are spared of ridicule. Ranging from ‘Sopranos’ to ‘NASCAR’ to even ‘Will & Grace’, Al’s character sits in that chair and watches that stuff like a whore on the street corner. “Network execs with naked ambitions, next week on FOX watch ‘Lions Eat Christians’!” I’m surprised that show hasn’t been made yet. Or isn’t that Spartacus?
I’m also almost convinced that the last line uttered in the song, “...you can watch anything you want to man,” was originally going to be an end piece for the music video.
Which was sadly denied by Eminem himself.
With that action, “Poodle Hat” became the first and only Yankovic album to not have a music video promote it. Even with this devastating blow, Al has no ill will towards the man. It should also be noted that while the video was not given a go, using “Slim Shady” on the later polka track was. I guess sometimes things work out.
Of all the Al opening tracks, this one may very well be the most underrated one. That’s saying something, considering there have been some STRONG start-off tracks in the past. It’s a parody that aims for not only the subject material at hand, but also the parodies the structure of the original right down to the core. This author doesn’t know if that was the intention, but that’s just scribing. Two thumbs up here!
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Couch Potato lyrics
2. Hardware Store: To follow a successful romp of a parody, time to make a ruckus original!
Al’s character, quite simply, is in absolute adoration of a hardware store opening up close to home. Perhaps it could be a sign of Billy Joel’s “No Man Land” coming into fruition?
In any event, Al is a hobo of unshaven dirty mess. He’s been waiting since last June (the album was released in May 2003) to wait on line so he can be that “every 27th customer can get a ball peen hammer free!”
Stepping in the store, he finds people with name badges, stuff, and well, more stuff!
As you’ll see in the lyrics widget, there is a very impressive sequence where Al rattles off a rapid-fire list of items found in said store. It sounds like it has a relation to George Carlin’s later “Technology Man” sketch from “Life is Worth Losing”.
Since I listened to this album originally back in my old hometown, I related to this song a lot on the basis of a crop of new stores opening. Expansion if you will. That’s how the Billy Joel reference fits, because of “modernization”.
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Hardware Store lyrics
3. Trash Day: The song who gave it’s life to this parody is “Hot in Herre” by Nelly.
And the two songs, unlike the lead-off, could not be any different.
While the original deals with how to be a “gangsta” so to speak, this parody deals with a person who should be on an episode of “Hoarders”.
To term it lightly, the house is a mess just short of condemning. Imagery like rotten food, rats running amok, and obnoxious odors permeate the lyrics.
That’s about it truly. All set to a hip hop theme that’s as clean as the song is dirty.
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Trash Day lyrics
4. Party at the Leper Colony: While the lyrics are original, the styles are completely “tribute”.
For one, there’s a major dash of Bo Diddley in the equation. If you don’t know who he is, here’s a Wikipedia link (with sources at the bottom).
In addition, Bruce Springsteen rhythms are spoken of too. Most notably, there’s a hint of “She’s the One” from Born to Run as instrumentals in the opening.
Let’s add a third unspoken layer, shall we? “Magic Bus” from The Who feels like inspiration too, as I can recognize that sequence anywhere.
To the song, and wow is it awfully punny.
When you see the word ‘Leper’ in the song title, there will be automatic reference to limb losing. That is in here in spades. “Let’s give ‘em a hand...”. ARGH!
The main plot is around people “giving” their limbs at a party. No more, no less.
Not the best song, but one for a cruel laugh or two.
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Party At The Leper Colony lyrics
5. Angry White Boy Polka: What is a “Weird Al” album without the traditional polka spiel? With that in mind, here’s the mug shot of the songs used:
- "Last Resort" by Papa Roach
- "Chop Suey!" by System of a Down
- "Get Free" by The Vines
- "Hate to Say I Told You So" by The Hives
- "Fell in Love with a Girl" by The White Stripes
- "Last Nite" by The Strokes
- "Down with the Sickness" by Disturbed
- "Renegades of Funk" by Rage Against the Machine, originally by Afrika Bambaataa
- "My Way" by Limp Bizkit
- "Outside" by Staind
- "Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock
- "Youth of the Nation" by P.O.D.
- "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem
- "Poodle Hat Polka" by "Weird Al" Yankovic
This one stands near the top of all polkas ever done. Not only does it follow a theme of angry white boys down to a ‘T’, but someone made a flash video years ago that gave this song a fresh breath of air.
As a whole, a highly recommended polka. Sounds dark and grungy in some places, but it reflects the source material accurately.
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Angry White Boy Polka lyrics
6. Wanna B Ur Lovr: I remember not liking this song much on my first listen-through, and I realize why.
This song just DRAGS!
At a six minutes and fifteen seconds (6:15), this is the second longest track on the album. A track that could have conveyed its message in about 60% of the time.
A style parody of Beck, the song is mostly about a geek who tries to pick up women with some of the worst pick-up lines imaginable.
While I don’t mind “cringe-worthy” lyrics, I do mind if they’re just stretching out time for the sake of it. “I’m a Groovy Guy” from the first album is a better execution on the same basic principle. If anything, I was happy this song ended and even happier when the next one started.
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Wanna B Ur Lovr lyrics
7. A Complicated Song: Ahh, this is more like it!
A parody of Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated”, this is the traditional torture song that appears on every Al album!
Avril’s song had a very much centered narrative for her piece, while Al’s has seven variations of the same thing. Every one of them, torture to experience, and torture to describe.
Firstly, we got a delicious problem. The host of the party Al goes to orders NINETEEN extra-large pizzas. No one shows up, so Al swallows his pride and takes all of them home to eat. Here, Al is ‘constipated’ and needs his bowels ‘evacuated’. That’s gross.
Next up is a problem inadvertently incestuous. Al dates a girl and they fall madly in love. Nothing appears to be wrong until Al finds a tattoo on her thigh that is suspiciously like his. Turns out both are cousins, and thus they are ‘related’. He thinks they should go to Alabama where this sort of thing is ‘tolerated’.
Concluding our problems is a gory one. Al tries out a roller coaster, and well, he doesn’t read the instructions. STANDING UP ON THE RIDE, he gets “decapitated”. It’s such a drag, because he can’t yodel or read “Sports Illustrated”. In extension, he wonders why did he get all “mutilated”. While his neck is in joy in a pleasant breeze, he hasn’t been the same since he was “separated” from his head.
I love this track primarily because it’s Al doing one of the things he does best: disgusting torture songs, but this one had a “-ed” theme.
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - A Complicated Song lyrics
8. Why Does This Always Happen to Me?: Ben ‘folds’ into the style parody of his work by contributing piano! With some of the stuff I’m about to describe, I’d imagine there were TONS of takes being done!
As mentioned, it’s a original in lyrics, but a style parody in heart. The main narrative of the track is about a guy whose life is “disturbed” by “minor inconveniences”.
Firstly, there’s an earthquake in Peru. Devastating at an 8.2, some thirty thousand people were crushed to death while more were buried alive. So what was the problem? Apparently ‘The Simpsons’ was being recorded, and the station cut in for coverage. That’ll piss people off!
Next up is a major wreck on a highway. 12 cars involved, and everyone in the automobiles were killed. Blood, gore, guts, et al. So what pisses Al off? Two things. First, one of his co-workers owes his five bucks, and because he died in the wreck, he’ll never get it back. Secondly, Al will be late to work. Oh well, better call the boss! Hey, this blogger had to do that two months ago post-Irene!
Last up is a horrible boss. Al’s at work, and apparently, the printer has run out of toner. Time to get a new case, but Al’s got work to do! The boss keeps egging him on about it, so Al decides to stab the guy. Big problem here? It’s not that we was goaded into doing a store run, but that the knife is ruined! Never be as sharp as it was, or as cut-worthy. Poor Al, can’t catch a break, can he?
I forgot how funny this track was. While not the out-right torture track because most of the events happen out of the character’s perspective, it is still unpleasant and disturbing to listen to. That’s just fine with me!
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Why Does This Always Happen To Me lyrics
9. Ode to a Superhero: The original song that provided the parody is a timeless classic. “Piano Man” by Billy Joel (the album now re-released in a new ‘Legacy Edition’), is about good ol’ William’s life experiences before in the grungy and seedy bars he frequents in performance.
This parody is to Piano Man what American Pie was to Star Wars: a summary of the plot in song form.
What made this one feel so bland however?
To me, I thought the “sling us a web, you’re the Spiderman” bit was clever, but very little else. Maybe it’s just me and I hold the original to very high esteem, but this just didn’t fit. Maybe the lack of a music video hurt it, as the Star Wars parody was helped tremendously by one. As both a Weird Al and Billy Joel fan, this one just didn’t work out right, and for one of Joel’s signature songs, it’s a shame.
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Ode To A Superhero lyrics
10. Bob: An original song, but the style is prevalent from the very first second.
A disguised tribute to Bob Dylan and his song-writing abilities, the whole track is done in palindromes. There’s no real narrative to speak of, but the track is humorous in its sound and lyrics, so that’s always a plus.
While the album had no music video to promote with, there was a music video from this song made for the AL-TV special and later the music video DVD. This marks the only music video made for the album, and the only album to have one video at all.
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Bob lyrics
11. eBay: A parody of Backstreet Boys’ “I Want it That Way”, the song revolves around Al buying a whole bunch of obscure stuff on the famous seller-driven site.
Outside of “It’s All About the Pentiums”, there hasn’t been a lot of Al’s repertoire covered in technology. Especially one where HTTP is involved.
It’s a treat listening to this, because as much as I was annoyed by the original, this one mocked it and more. Some of the items are dreamy (snow-globe, Dukes of Hazzard ash tray), while a Beanie Baby from Norway seems a little weird.
For a penultimate track, good work by Al.
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Ebay lyrics
12. Genius in France: Before typing those words, I took a big breath.
I have REALLY mixed feelings about this song.
One day I’ll love it and the other I’ll loathe it like the bottom of the barrel.
It’s a Frank Zappa cover with Frank’s son Dweezil playing that opening guitar solo that should have been a separate track.
Because this album was released in 2003, I think this song may have been done in political protest. If you may recall from this period, France decided to pull out of Iraq claiming it didn’t support the war on terror... when originally the country said they’d be large and In charge.
So Al in the meantime, pretty much mocks the French for about nine minutes.
The main narrative feels simple: Al, as dumb as a bag of rocks (and all comparatives of the saying), travels to France, and pretty much dominates the country.
Like ‘Lovr’, this song wouldn’t be so opinion-invoking if it was like half the length.
Most of the song dragged worse than a WWE match with two men weighing 500 pounds apiece!
I’m not kidding, there’s a whole minute where nothing but sound effects and non-sensical blabber take over. I wish I was making this up! The next album “Straight Outta Lynwood” successfully mocks a country (Canada), but embraces the culture too.
I’m wrapping this one up quick: Either you’ll love it or hate it, but whatever the opinion is, it’ll probably decide your love of the overall album.
Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Genius In France lyrics
IN CONCLUSION: This album is sadly still amongst the bottom of the Al album talent pool, but even then, it’s still better than most artists’ best work.
It seems like 3/4 of the album is classic Al, but that rotten 1/4 is unique enough to drag it to hell. I can’t remember a song as offensive as ‘Genius’, as annoying as ‘Lovr’, and as dragging as both of them! ‘Leper’ wasn’t great shakes either.
The other songs though are at least good to excellent. As an album though, its inconsistent, and the good songs aren’t collectively strong enough to bring this album out of the gutter. Indeed, a few sour apples spoil the bunch.
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