Booking Strategy: Undertaker at WrestleMania XXIX

The usual rumblings of rumor are surfacing.

Is Undertaker too banged up?

Can he still go?

Will Undertaker finally hang it up?

At this point even I am not so sure.

The rap sheet of Undertaker’s major surgeries in the last five or so years is as long as Ron Jeremy’s penis War and Peace. Among them are multiple operations to his beaten down shoulders, hips, and knees. Essentially, I believe the man known as The Undertaker is held together by Bondo, wads of spit, and chewed up bubble gum. If it works for million dollar race cars, then it should for human beings too!

All joking aside, Undertaker is definitively in the twilight of his career. His work schedule is limited to all but one match a year with a random special segment here and there.

‘Taker’s rumored opponent for this year’s extravaganza is CM Punk. Punk, a record-setter in the modern era for consecutive days holding for the WWE Championship, has had his fair share of injuries recently as well. Adding to the usual wear and tear is a scope job to his left knee and the after-effects of a suplex gone wrong at a Live event.

These two have also had a somewhat sketchy past when it came to in-ring work together. Their program from 2009 produced two gimmicked PPV matches whose quality were mediocre at best. It is an example of two great workers who can’t mesh, like Mr. Perfect and Shawn Michaels from SummerSlam 1993.

With this quandary of health on the horizon, it just so happens another telegraphed angle is about to happen.

And those two angles should be mixed.

Together, it would be a first time, last time, and only time this would happen for Undertaker at WrestleMania: a tag match. A really high-profile tag encounter with some of the most colorful characters in the WWE right now.

Here is how this would all come together:

The problems with Daniel Bryan and Kane are obvious. There is a severe crack in the foundation, one that even Dr. Shelby can’t fix. Egos are coming to the surface with future ambitions of both men seemingly driving this team apart.

When the break-up begins, it will be ugly.

A triple threat tag match on RAW will have the WWE Tag Team Championships on the line. Hell No, Brodus/Tensai, and Rhodes Scholars are at the ready. After some miscommunication, Kane gets dropped by Rhodes and loses the titles for his team.

Daniel finally makes the turn and beats his now-to-be former partner into oblivion. After this savage encounter, Bryan looks down at Kane with somber remembrance. He even touts his ‘YES’ into the air, but with less enthusiasm then normal.

CM Punk lost his match to John Cena on RAW. It was a thirty minute epic that had WrestleMania-quality written all over it. Punk thought he had it in the bag with the Anaconda Vice, but Cena got to the ropes. Cena slapped his signature STF on Punk. Punk lasts a whole minute in the maneuver trying to get out, but nothing works. Punk taps and his dream of main-eventing WrestleMania goes down the tubes.

That next week, the opening promo starts with CM Punk bickering about his loss. He said Cena tapped and the ref screwed him out of his dream. Bryan contritely retorts that the ref, that exact same ref, screwed him out of his tag team championship. Both men seem to be on one ugly page.

A page that would turn to darkness.

DONG

The lights come back to Punk and Bryan meeting their new-found hells inside the ring. Undertaker chokeslams Punk while Kane gets Bryan. The two brothers point to the WrestleMania NY/NJ sign with no additional dialogue needed. This hellacious journey to ‘Mania is on its way!

Yes, Undertaker would need to make some appearances on television. Hell, some of them could even be taped. No, not Dr. Shelby sketches, but some cameos by men from the past should be there (OHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSS Paul Bearer).

Punk and Bryan run roughshod through the best of the WWE. Alberto Del Rio? No problem. Sheamus? Like a shark patrolling around an empty butthole. Ryback? Friggen’ done! Seeing as Jack Swagger was just caught for pot, perhaps he should eat ‘crippling’ finishers from both these guys.

Undertaker and Kane do their mind games. More like a who’s who of what they did in the past, both on their opponents and each other. Wax figures inside caskets work. Zeb Coulter being set on fire sure. Another great segment idea is Undertaker/Daniel Bryan face to face. Daniel Bryan says YES to winning at WrestleMania with the lights on while Undertaker barks NO with the lights going out!

Plus, CM Punk can always beat Kane one-on-one as well. Bryan can be the distraction making Kane lose, and Undertaker puts up a wall of fire as the dastardly Cult of (Multiple) Personalities go up the ramp!

So now at MetLife, how would this match occur?

For starters, Punk and Bryan come out together (to Punk’s music) while Undertaker/Kane come out separately. If snow is falling during Undertaker’s entrance, it would be amongst the strangest mood setting for a ‘Mania perhaps ever. Knowing that part of the country this time of year, it’ll either be nice and warm or cold and ‘action-packed’.

Kane starts out against Punk. The big red machine is a BOSS who flings back Punk and then Bryan with ease. It seems the two smaller technical geniuses are at a mismatch.

However there is a reason why Punk and Bryan are amongst the two of the elite in the WWE. Using frequent tags, these two deceiving grapplers beat the crap out of this giant. Whether it’s kicks, punches, rope-based attacks, or even a few submission holds, Kane is able to hold on, but just by barely. There would be teases of Kane tagging in, but only to be stopped by the last second by either Bryan or Punk.

By this point the phenom wasn’t tagged in yet, but Undertaker is nowhere near silent. Not only does he gets his cheap-shot in, but he even is able to douse himself with a bottle of water to get ready for that ‘hot tag’.

Kane later on gets to the ropes after a No Lock was unsuccessful. Daniel Bryan tries a dropkick, but fails. Kane slouches back into the corner to…tag….in….

UNDERTAKER!

The man in purple and black is going to town! Clothesline after clothesline is served with more ferocity than the last. Bryan suffers from Old School, and slips out of the ring. Undertaker follows suit as he does a modified version of Snake-Eyes: On the barricade THEN the big boot! Punk tries to surprise with a high and tight Anaconda Vice, but ‘Taker shrugs him off like a case of fleas.

‘Taker chokeslams Bryan inside of the ring, but Punk breaks it up. Punk is laughing, but walks into KANE! These two masters of their arts better start prayers because the brothers of destructions are waiting to kill them off!

Undertaker to Daniel Bryan.

Kane to CM Punk.

STEREO TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVERS!

1-2-3!

90,000 people shit their pants with the loudest post-match pyrotechnic display ever seen. Undertaker and Kane as The Brothers of Destruction are announced as the winners as no less than 345 replays are shown of the high spots. In true form, the BOD look back at the crowd, turn their backs to them, and raise their arms in the air as if they were post-mortem members of the Nation of Domination.

With WrestleMania clocking in at four hours long, this match (w/ entrances and other gimmicks) could clock easily 30-35 minutes. It gives all four men plenty of exposure while keeping a competitive battleground. In an environment where most of the men here are either badly banged up and/or getting close to retirement, this is a great opportunity to mesh styles and gain respect the good ol’ fashioned way.

Now I wouldn’t expect this to be Undertaker’s last match. If anything, I am still clamoring him to face John Cena one-on-one before he officially retires. Kane’s time maybe limited, but Punk and Bryan I believe are just now starting to hit their primes.

At the end of the day however, it accomplishments will be aplenty. It takes the primary physical toll of a regular one-on-one match off of CM Punk and Undertaker. It allows Kane and Undertaker to finally be a tag team at WrestleMania. It also allows Daniel Bryan to hook up with Undertaker at least once in his career. It also proves that big-name tag matches not only have a place on the big show card, but can also raise the legend of the card for years to come.

Technorati Tags: wwe,wwf,wrestlemania 29,metlife stadium,undertaker,injury,cm punk,daniel bryan,kane,tag team championship,hell no,rhodes scholars,cody rhodes,damien sandow,brodus clay,tensai,cult of personality,lights,dark,dong,john cena,nation of domination

 

 

Madison Square Garden Moments Part Two

(Author’s Note: You can view part one right here.)

To truly understand the existential importance of Madison Square Garden to present day WWE, you must go back to the era of the territories.

In 1948, the National Wrestling Alliance formed. It pretty much aligned all the major promotions within the United States together. While there were regional bookers who had their own clientele of talent, they all had to share one recognized World Champion.

This seemed dandy until two major federations broke away later on.

One of them would be Verne Gagne and the Minnesota-based AWA (American Wrestling Association).

The other would be Vincent J. McMahon and the WWWF (World Wide Wrestling Federation).

McMahon, the father of Vincent Kennedy McMahon, would run shop in the Northeast. For all the towns and all the venues, only one place would hold the major cards, feud-enders, and everything in-between: Madison Square Garden.

Located in New York City on 34th & 6th Street, MSG held the trials and tribulations of many a superstar over the years.

It’s history is so vast that a singular list of moments would do this invaluable establishment injustice.

In this continuing retrospective, we’re gonna look at just a few of MSG’s greatest contributions to WWE’s history.

One of the reasons why The Garden is so important is because it can link the lineage of WWE with mentions of newly-announced Hall of Famer Bruno Sammartino and  sooner-than-later Hall of Famer John Cena in the same breath. MSG has always been a hotbed for wrestling, and this is another in a series of small articles to prove it.

So here we are, another sampling of why MSG so great. (Note: These are not in chronological order!)

_________________________________________________

Jimmy Snuka Takes A Leap of Faith. October 17th, 1983.

There are some ways the WWE has changed a lot since 1983.

One big example is the treatment of cage matches.

Today, cage matches are nothing more than a no-disqualification match stuck inside four sides of mesh and no blood. They are usually feud-fillers and lead to something greater.

However, back in that era, cage matches were usually the culmination of a feud. Whether that struggle was for weeks, months, it didn’t matter. Cages were usually the last resort.

On that particular Autumn day, Jimmy Snuka did the leap of faith.

Literally.

This cage battleground was a bloody and vicious affair. Both men had the battle scars to prove it.

Jimmy Snuka hit Muraco with a head-butt. Only this tactic unintentionally allowed Muraco to fall out the cage door and win the match.

To say Snuka was unsatisfied would be a general understatement.

By bringing Don’s ass back into the cage, Snuka proved to the world two things.

One: Muraco’s win was a fluke.

Two: SUPA, SUPA, SUPAFLY!

While Snuka had attempted this stunt before, it was usually meant with little fanfare or missed.

This time, THE ROCK hits the spot!

MSG popped in awe over this moment!

Especially one disobedient, hitchhiking Mick Foley. Donned in his now-signature flannel apparel, his jaw dropped to the floor when Snuka performed career magic. From here on, Foley would dedicate his life to the sport of professional wrestling. For the next 20+ years, Foley would execute a career grand enough to be considered an induction into WWE’s Hall of Fame.

Where you ask? Madison Square Garden!

With a little hitchhiking and imagination, one match with one moment can spawn one spectacular career.

_________________________________________________

Randy Orton Kicks Mick Foley Down a Case of Stairs. RAW, June 23rd, 2003.

Amongst other moments in the history of Madison Square Garden, smaller moments are usually overshadowed in the grand scheme of things.

Take this little nugget from time.

Evolution (Randy Orton and Ric Flair for this instance) jumped Foley backstage after Flair took insult to a supposed compliment from Mick. It would ultimately lead to Orton and Foley brawling near a set of stairs.

Then Foley was sent down the stairs via a vicious punt to the skull. And no, it was not like the punt Orton would later make his signature.

Off and on for the next several months, Foley would appear to be the thorn on Evolution’s prickly ass.

Whether it was as an interim General Manager.

Or just a guy who got a loogie spat on him.

Foley was waiting for his revenge.

Only problem was that he wasn’t going into WrestleMania XX on his own against three gentlemen.

CUE THE ROCK!

Now it was still a handicap match, but a star-studded one nonetheless. Rock n’ Sock vs. Evolution (with the addition of Batista) was on!

In an ironic twist of fate, Orton was the one who got the duke after scoring a clean RKO on Foley. This would set up a feud-ending No Holds Barred match at Backlash for Orton’s Intercontinental Championship.

While some MSG moments are just that, moments, some are turning points that have lasting ramifications. This was case in point.

_________________________________________________

Cactus Jack Debuts in the WWE. RAW, September 22nd, 1997.

 

Austin stuns McMahon is the moment that inaugural RAW from MSG will be remembered for.

However, I will be completely remiss if this is completely ignored.

This wasn’t exactly a blow-off that Mick Foley was going to have against Hunter-Hearst-Helmsley. As a matter of fact, it felt like a side-step to not only bigger feuds at the time but also matches down the road.

What did transpire before the match is legendary, and definitely is a moment affiliated with The Garden.

Tony Chimmel introduced Hunter, along with Chyna. Both looked focused, determined, and confident to whoop some ass.

Chimmel then announces Dude Love who was supposed to be HHH’s opponent.

NOT SO FAST!

Dude appears on the titantron. His hippie dippie weather man appearance can’t stand the weapons and other miscellaneous warfare.

He then introduces a kind man.

For all of you who didn’t get it, IT WAS MANKIND! Old-school non-Corporate Mankind.

Mankind says as much as he would love to beat up Helmsley again, he knows of someone who not only shares that feeling, but could probably do a better job.

ENTER IN CACTUS JACK!

Armed with a garbage can, Jack ominously threatens Hunter with how this will be the darkest day in his life.

Wouldn’t be the only time that’s happened in the Garden.

With Love signing off as “Ohhh, have mercy,” Cactus came out to the roar of the crowd.

The two would then have the best match of both of their 1997 calendar year.

Chyna even got a few licks in before Cactus gave Triple H a piledriver through a wooden table on the stage! Cactus expressed a disturbed, psychotic smile as he conquered the King of the Ring.

Via some old-school video trickery, WWE pulled off a once-in-lifetime promo that only Mick Foley could execute. Along with a reaction from Triple H likewise.

_________________________________________________

Undertaker Returns! Survivor Series, November 17th, 1996

 If a feud went any longer than, let’s say, three months nowadays, the internet would be complaining about WHEN WILL IT END??!?!?!

Back in this time however, feuds were allowed to breathe.

And elaborate.

And sometimes procrastinate.

By the time November of 1996 rolled around, Undertaker and Mankind went through several wars together.

Two consecutive PAY-PER-VIEW victories went to the newly-arrived Mick Foley. A shockingly clean victory at King of the Ring, coupled with the steepest of betrayals from Paul Bearer at the Boiler Room Brawl at Summerslam, meant that somewhere down the line, the big guy would get his revenge.

In a way.

Undertaker would face off against Mankind in a Buried Alive match on the gimmick-named pay-per-view.

The Phenom had the deranged one finished off with a Tombstone, and barely covered him in enough dirt to be called the winner.

Post-match, Undertaker was jumped on as if this was the 1994 Royal Rumble casket match again. Several heels came down to partake in a gang beat-down of ‘Taker complete with dirt coronation.

After it was all said and done, Undie laid waste under more than the proverbial six feet of dirt.

In one of the greatest visual tricks the WWE had ever seen, a lightning bolt hit the mound of dirt. Shortly afterwards, a hand rose out of the grave like a freshly incubated zombie. This would set up Survivor Series.

Sure there wasn’t a stipulation applied to the match itself, and sure Paul Bearer was inside of a cage HIGH above the ring, but the entrance is one sadly forgotten amongst time.

You see, Mark Calloway was temporarily the WWE equivalent of Adam West.

He was…

THE BATMAN!

As the above picture can attest, it had wings. Wings that made it look more like Wile E. Coyote’s aerodynamic costume than a wrestling stunt.

What the entrance also portrayed was perhaps a brand new character. ‘Taker was decked out in black leather, an outfit an replaced the shaggy old shindigs of years gone by. It also represented a different albeit more aggressive style in which Undertaker would step up his game tremendously over the coming year or so.

‘Taker and Mankind would brawl as soon as the dead man forcibly put the big fat lardass Bearer inside the cage.

Undertaker would ultimately gain his true first clean pinfall victory over the demented kind man. The joy would be short-lived as once again he had to endure surprise attack. This time it was by a short-lived character known as The Executioner (played by well-out-of-his-prime Terry Gordy RIP).

The less said about that feud the better.

It wasn’t the first or last time Undertaker would battle Mankind.

It wasn’t the only time Undertaker made a dramatic return at MSG.

Hell, it wasn’t the only time a manager would be hoisted up inside of a cage above the ring either.

However, it needed to be said: that entrance was awesome!_________________________________________________

CONCLUSION

That wraps up another installment of Madison Square Garden moments.

Unlike the first list where it was four random moments put together, this list had a running theme to it.

All four moments, one way or another, centered around Mick Foley. Foley as a fan, Foley as Cactus, Dude, or Mankind. Or Foley as the man who wanted to say hello, but got much more than that.

As mentioned earlier, Foley’s inspiration into becoming a wrestler morphed from a chance viewing up close and personal of the bloody war between Snuka and Muraco. Complete with the leap of faith.

The same arena where Foley’s new leash on life began will culminate in a Hall of Fame induction alongside other men and women whose inductions are more than justified.

Foley’s career was spiced by the interactions of other interesting characters mixing with his own. Madison Square Garden’s character was more than great enough to house these special moments.

Technorati Tags: wwe,wwf,wwe championship,blog,bad booking,youtube,mick foley,mankind,cactus jack,dude love,hall of fame,madison square garden,steel cage,blood,hardcore,leap of faith,jimmy snuka,don muraco,evolution,randy orton,ric flair,batista,triple h,the rock,undertaker,the executioner,paul bearer,summerslam,wrestlemania,king of the ring,survivor series,boiler room brawl,buried alive,batman,adam west,stunt,table,piledriver

 

How Outsourcing is Bad for WrestleMania

WrestleMania is going to be a loaded card this year for sure. No doubt about it.

WWE's 29th annual year-end culmination is emanating from MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey on April the 7th. Since the company is having their biggest show in the Northeast this year, the demands of this portion of the WWE Universe faithful will be higher than the average paying audience.

So in this pomp and pageantry, Vince and company are going to pull out all the stops. Everything the WWE perceives in their year (fiscal and kayfabe) lies on this one night in time.

The full-time roster has a talent pool capable of generating a big show on their own. There are established main eventers like John Cena, Sheamus, Randy Orton, CM Punk, amongst others who can deliver in the upper-card. Mid-carders like Dolph Ziggler, Daniel Bryan, Kofi Kingston, Cody Rhodes, and others who are ready to have their break-out moment. A nicely planned four-hour extravaganza can easily be pulled off with nearly a million buys.

However, there are many part-time big-name talents who get called upon just to build a program in the hopes of popping a bigger gate/buyrate for the show.

In a way, this isn't a new practice. To prove this, let's take a look back at the first 'Mania.

Back in 1985 when Vince McMahon first conceived WrestleMania, he called upon many big names to appear. Celebrities like:

Mr. T

Cyndi Lauper

Muhammad Ali

Liberace with The Rockettes

Those people amongst others were contracted in the hopes of giving Vince's new creation national exposure. Keep in mind that since this was 1985, WWE didn't have the national vernacular that it would earn years later. It's understandable that a company must go all for broke in order to back a great vision and Vince wasn't going to back down. WrestleMania proved to be a great outing for McMahon as the heaping returns ensured the future of the company.

As the company became more comfortable with their big stage, the emphasis on celebrities extrapolating the buzz subsided. In a about-face, celebrities have actually asked WWE to be on their show. Whether it is for a promo or even a match, WWE benefits because they get to lure in the audience with the hinting of something additional. The major difference in this time compared to then is that the wrestlers do the sell job while the celebrities are the icing on the cake.

This all sounds dandy and good, but there is another problem to divert to. The selling of WrestleMania to consumers isn't done primarily by the full-time roster anymore.

Instead it is by the stars of yesteryear.

Superstars like The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, and Undertaker are sought in to help pop the buyrates. More than likely they will work with the full-time main event talent to help raise their legends while cementing legacies of their own.

The problem lies within not that they're with the WWE or even that they are in WrestleMania, but how much of the show they are taking away from the rest of the full-time roster.

Let's face it: most of these men are put into matches lasting at least twenty some-odd minutes. When you account entrances with other gimmicks, its not possible to see a particular segment of the show run nearly a full hour.

Now I know that's exaggerated for most programs, but it is not impossible. Those drawn-out portions affect other segments with the unintended potential of leaving advertised matches off the card altogether.

Like the 1980's, this has an effect on the talent as well. While most of the boys had really good paychecks, it was commonly known that they resented having outsiders take away time from their feuds. It was as if their hard work wasn't good enough to earn a spot in the biggest gathering of the year.

That is the problem crippling the mid-card of today's WWE.

Superstars like the aforementioned Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow, amongst others have had the talent to get to the next level. One thing or another has denied them all (although in Sandow's case he's been on the main roster a relatively short time).

For example, Daniel Bryan and Sheamus were given the shaft two years in a row. WrestleMania 27 saw their United States Championship match left off the show completely while their World Heavyweight Championship match a year later only went eighteen seconds! Both men were able to overcome these oversights, but their success is the exception not the rule. Sheamus is even a bona-fide main-eventer, but is not seen in the same league as a Randy Orton or John Cena.

You're reading this now thinking, “Gee, this seemed like a great history lesson delving into another WWE rant on the mistreatment of mid-carders.”

Well, not exactly.

What I am trying to prove is that WWE's philosophy on booking big events is not new. This may never change, but times are different and they shouldn't rely on gimmicks gone by to generate revenue.

As implied earlier, the major difference between 1985 and 2013 is that WWE in 2013 doesn't need a whole ton of help popping a gate. The World Wide Wrestling Federation evolved from a regional Northeastern territory with traces of NWA heritage to World Wrestling Entertainment, a global conglomerate whose business is the measuring stick for all other sports/entertainment companies to be compared to. WWE has also survived steroid trials, the Monday Night Wars, a name change, Chris Benoit, amongst other outrages. Almost anyone on any given street corner can identify WWE one way or another. Whether it is a classic Hulk Hogan moment, a Rock/Austin standoff, or even John Cena on a box of Fruity Pebbles, WWE has practically written themselves on the fabric of America whether us as fans know it or not.

Meanwhile, back at the proverbial ranch, it almost seems as if WWE doesn't have the confidence to allow the mid-carders to advance. Sure there are times where they are thrust into the promised land. Most of the time though it is either in a multi-man match or a throwaway episode of RAW/SMACKDOWN. It's hard to fathom there was a time not long ago where a match like Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio convincingly main evented a show.

With how today's WWE has been booked, it can be easily depicted if that the superstar isn't a main event talent, they just don't matter.

That being said, as detrimental as it sounds, WWE had been doing a good job over the last decade of relying on their own talent to garner success. However, the WWE is falling into the “safe” arms of what is deemed marketable. The Rock is a movie star with several big-budget profit makers to his credit. Brock Lesnar was a UFC Heavyweight Champion, and UFC has proven to generate monster buyrates no matter who highlights the card. Triple H and The Undertaker as noted earlier are two men who have proven their worth on a full-time grind, but should really take a backseat to let their bodies heal. Let's also add that Triple H is now a corporate man whose decisions based on talent relations and other aspects could easily affect the company's future.

WWE has a talent pool that can easily put on a show that can earn the moniker of “The Grandest Stage of Them All”. The main-eventers are established with a mid-card waiting for their next big moment. There doesn't need to be a help in buyrates, and even a lower-than-expected number will generate profit for the company to easily run off of the entire year.

Even with a (not likely) lower-than-anticipated buyrate for 'Mania, don't feel bad about the long-term fiscal aspects. WWE has so many side-outlets and sponsors that the company's financial stability will be ensured for years to come. It's something that cannot be said of 1985, 1995, or even majority of the beloved Attitude Era. Say what you will about the PG Era, but it has allowed Vince and company to branch out with the added ability of ensuring consistent business.

In conclusion, WWE doesn't need outside attractions to headline a WrestleMania. The company doesn't live or die by buyrates, ratings, or even if a certain performer does well or not. This isn't the dark ages or even Attitude. This is an era where WWE is building a foundation focusing on that third initial of their brand name. Money will come in no matter how good/bad a certain event does. While it is nice to have nostalgia pops for men who can still go in the ring, this is not their time.

ADDITION: This doesn’t happen often but I realized I left something out. It needs to be addressed.

There is one more argument to the outsourcing topic and why it isn’t great for business.

The rest of the year!

Let’s face it: A regular WWE year sees action pick up big time either the week after, or maybe a couple weeks after the December pay-per-view.

Big angles are coming to the surface, and big names are teased.

January passes. Rumble happens.

February passes. Elimination Chamber happens.

March is more or less a build-up month. WrestleMania happens either at the end of March or the beginning of April.

The big names in question come in, say their peace, do their match, and leave.

Somehow, WWE has to adequately follow that up.

Extreme Rules, which will happen a little later than usual this year, is usually the synonym for “rematch”. WWE has a somewhat failsafe built into play.

As soon as that event is over, the business falls like a rock.

And I don’t mean Dwayne Johnson.

Ratings for the television go down. The general interest in the product goes down. And if the last five years were any indication, John Cena will dominate the airwaves more than the 1972 Miami Dolphins.

WWE bringing in all these guys for a short time unrealistically sets the bar for the rest of the year. And as more time goes on, these men are getting less effective at their jobs.

Look at The Rock so far going into the Rumble 2013. CM Punk has laid waste to him in promos and looks more convincing as WWE Champion. I’m not even saying that in kayfabe. I’m seeing that as two men with passion for the business, that one looks that much better than the other.

Undertaker’s promo abilities have been dreadful too. The last three or four years, week in and week out, it’s been the same promo about “Last Outlaw” this and “End of an Era” that. With his injury list a who’s who of contorted bones and structures, I’m afraid his last WrestleMania moment will be a suddenly stopped match with a legitimate stretcher job.

Don’t even get me started on Lesnar. Zack Ryder can speak better than him. Plus, Lesnar works so scarily stiff that I believe he will legitimately break someone’s arm in a match without meaning to.

Collectively, I’m burnt out by the notion these same guys will come in, do practically two months of work, leave, and rinse/lather/repeat.

I just wish WWE could take a page out of 1997-1999 and make the WHOLE ROSTER care again. Everyone had a distinct character, voice, and mannerisms. Perennial mid-carders like Val Venis and Godfather get pops back then that were consistent to those of a man in the upper-card today like Randy Orton or Sheamus.

To quote George Carlin: “I have no end for this so I take a small bow…”

 

Technorati Tags: wwe,wwwf,wwf,wrestlemania,vince mcmahon,metlife stadium,east rutherford new jersey,mr. t,cyndi lauper,liberace,rockettes,muhammad ali,1985,1995,attitude era,steroids,chris benoit,john cena,cm punk,the rock,brock lesnar,undertaker,triple h,koifi kingston,damien sandow,cody rhodes,kane,daniel bryan,sheamus,pg era,matt hardy,rey mysterio,raw,smackdown