F-5 Fury Going Forward

(Author’s Note: As I type this, it is officially Memorial Day here in the United States. Just want to thank all of the members of our defensive forces in uniform who made the ultimate sacrifice. Without them, as well as our living veterans, this blog post amongst many others wouldn’t be possible. Thank you for defending our freedoms!)

Hey everybody!

It’s been a little while since I’ve written a piece for the blog, and there’s a good reason. A myriad of health problems stemming from a faulty appendix kept me from being a normal human being for a while.

Now that I summarized two months of my life in a single paragraph, time to get back to business!

Extreme Rules took place a little over a week ago on pay-per-view. As a show itself, I personally found it somewhat as take it or leave it on a match quality standpoint. In terms of booking decisions though, this show seemed well executed with one major flaw.

Let’s get the flaw right out of the way first. That is the No-Contest in the WWE Championship match between Ryback and John Cena. It wouldn’t have been a big deal if it were a different stipulation. But, and I mean BUT, THIS WAS A LAST MAN STANDING MATCH! The count of ten ends the match, no matter who is down.

The Royal Rumble of 2004 saw Triple H and Shawn Michaels just about kill each other in a Last Man Standing war. Shawn superkicked The Game, and both men fell. Earl Hebner counted to ten, thus resulting in a draw with Triple H retaining the World Heavyweight Championship.

For WWE’s sake, what was so hard about a double-countout? It makes Cena’s legit injury look even more legitimate while Ryback doesn’t look like he jobbed again. I understand the whole concept of crashing through the stage, but Batista & Undertaker did that before to a double-countout. This could have easily worked, and the angle wouldn’t need to be changed.

WWE really needs to be thankful that they were able to further the feud with continuity, because that NC in a LMS match is a bullshit way to go. Thankfully it won’t be a crippling issue as the months go forward.

Now to the positives, and there were two major ones.

First off, need to tip my hat to The Shield.

This unique trio has opened my eyes. Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Roman Reigns have all exhibited tremendous ability in the ring. Better than that, the WWE has booked them to be almost indestructible. Dean owns the United States belt after he pinned Kofi Kingston, while Rollins/Reigns owning the Tag Team belts after they ruled supreme over Team Hell No. Their matches at Extreme Rules were amongst the best on the card, and with time will bring justice to the main event. I can’t wait until one of these guys gets the WWE Championship. With Money in the Bank coming around, it may be sooner than later.

Now to the title portion of the program.

Brock Lesnar and Triple H took their long-running feud inside of a shiny new cage to end the show. Over the course of a year, these two have beaten the living crap out of each other. Whether it’d be Brock breaking Trips’ arm multiple times, or Triple H knocking out Lesnar cold at WrestleMania, the climax would inevitably hit soon. Soon being Extreme Rules.

I’ll admit I wasn’t the biggest fan of this match going in. I haven’t seen ‘Mania yet, but I did watch SummerSlam. That match felt pitifully slow, and when Brock put Triple H in his Kimura, it felt like as if all of us were gonna tap out to boredom.

However, this cage match had just enough to keep it going forward.

For example, I liked how Triple H went after Brock’s knee. Lesnar sold it like a monster was wounded mortally! Also, I liked how Paul Heyman (a main instigator of this whole angle) got his licked in, plus got his ass kicked. Heyman was never one to shy away from getting into the fray, and he didn’t disappoint here. Plus I liked how Triple H played by his figurative sword but would ultimately die by it too.

The ending may have been somewhat weak, but I didn’t mind the outcome. Brock Lesnar winning was the only realistic way to go. Brock losing would have been like Lesnar turning into the 2013 version of Brian Pillman: the world’s richest jobber. While jobbing doesn’t always have a bad connotation, it can definitely leave the wrong impression in certain situations. Fortunately, WWE did the right thing and let Brock go over massive.

_________________________________________________

 

From here, Brock can only feud with one man.

A man whose penchant is to elicit strong hometown reactions, and a man whose manager (plus Curtis Axel) will inevitably turn on him with a broken arm in tow. 

Don’t forget people… PAYBACKS ARE GONNA BE A BITCH!

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Hustle, Loyalty, and Word Life: The John Cena Post

When John Cena first popped onto WWE televisions in 2002, there was something immediately different about him.

Answering Kurt Angle’s challenge, Cena defiantly slapped the Olympian. Somehow, this unknown hung in with a multiple-time WWE Champion, and only lost the challenge in the last few seconds.

This would set the tone for this man’s incredible WWE run.

From being a blue-chipper, to a rapper, to a Marine, then to a Fruity Pebble, Cena accumulated championships faster than a Bugatti Veyron going 0 to 60. He has also added millions of fans, haters in counter-balance, and the respect of everyone he has ever faced.

To this blogger however, it seems like Cena is starting to get bogged down.

This morning I was looking at still images of Cena from Extreme Rules. A man, who in victory, was literally beaten to a bloody pulp. He also looked old, tired, and needing a long breather.

It goes without saying that Cena is a BEAST. Not only does John go on the road 300 or so days a year, but he also manages to complete multiple obligations that would seemingly kill a normal man!

Let’s not mince corners here. Cena, even after surgery, never truly rests. For example, Cena went to Iraq after pectoral surgery in 2007 to contribute to “Tribute to the Troops”. Normally, most superstars wouldn’t appear anywhere until they returned to TV!

Which leads me to my point.

Turning 35 this past week, it’s almost unfathomable that Cena has been able to keep this type of rigorous schedule up.

Now that he isn’t getting any younger, and not getting any healthier, it may be time for Cena to put his full-time road schedule behind him.

Looking at his age, which is indeed 35, let’s take a look at what other men were doing at that point in their careers:

Steve Austin: In his prime, but going through neck surgery recovery.

Shawn Michaels: Overcoming drug addiction, second run inadvertently on the way.

Triple H: Balls deep into the ‘Reign of Terror’.

Hulk Hogan: Very much still ‘the man’ in the WWE, with or without the championship.

Bret Hart: His singles run was just beginning.

It’s a varied list of talents with a varied list of agendas.

While I’m not saying for Cena to hang his boots up by any means, I am saying that Cena just take a deep breath and analyze what he has.

Take a look at Edge for example. At age 38, he retired with the comfort that he won’t have to be in a wheel chair. After years of TLC matches, nasty bumps, and all in addition to a spinal fusion surgery, the toll became too much of an ‘Edge’ for Adam Copeland to rally against.

With a new crop of talent peeking through the woodwork, Cena’s full-time role should be reduced. Allow Cena to encompass an Undertaker-style (like from 2009) work schedule that while he appears on TV for the promo here and there, the meat of his work will be shown on PPV in matches worthy of hyping an entire card. To anyone wondering, his other commitments (i.e: Make a Wish) would not be affected.

In conclusion, the main point of this article is that Cena should start to slow down. He has done EVERYTHING. From being WWE Champion (at one point over a year straight), to a champion of ‘Make A Wish’, to being a role-model for all fans, Cena’s career is a who’s-who of accomplishments that is nothing short of extraordinary. In a time where contemporaries are retiring in quick succession, John needs to ease off the gas and ride in the slow lane.

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The Double-Turn of the Century: Daniel Bryan and Sheamus

While I may have been away from doing this blog for a while, it doesn’t mean I have been away from keeping tabs on WWE.

Noticing what I have seen on the tube, It seems like the company has quite the quandary on its hands.

Sheamus is “that guy” on the WWE roster right now. He is a white-meat, always-smiling, never-do-wrong babyface with a world title to boot. He is being pushed to the moon and no one is seemingly going to stop him.

Enter Daniel Bryan.

Bryan is conniving coward heel that Sheamus defeated for the World Heavyweight Championship. Not only was the defeat on the grandest stage of all (WrestleMania), but also it was accomplished in a bizarrely quick fashion of 18 seconds!

Now when the heel gets defeated, the normal routine is to celebrate in the splendor of the face.

This didn’t happen.

Instead, the combined crowds of Wrestlemania and the post-‘Mania RAW voiced their displeasure. In addition to chastising the Booger Red, they also made him incur the wrath of multiple ‘YES’ chants, a chant made popular by Bryan in the first place.

Or in this case, SI!

The biggest problem though seem to be the taped Smackdowns. Sheamus’ reactions were so negative, that WWE has loudly dub the boos over with those crappy seagull pops. Never mind the fact the ARENA (as in all of them since ‘Mania) is still heavily cheering for Bryan. On the other side of the coin, Daniel has done some heelish things, like breaking up with AJ, however the crowd just showers their affections to the guy.

Some of WWE’s best decisions have come listening to the fans. Like Stone Cold Steve Austin for example, who was turned face for his anti-establishment rebel behavior. Even Honky Tonk Man was originally a face, until fans literally told the WWE to turn him heel.

Seriously, an Elvis impersonator as a face? Who wudda thunk it?

Going into Extreme Rules, there is one thing the WWE could possibly do: double-turn!

This is how I would do it, keep in mind the match is 2-out-of-3 Falls.

FALL ONE: The match starts ironically with a Brogue Kick, but Bryan kicks out at 2. The crowd cheers wildly as Bryan battles back the Great White. After a ram in the post, Sheamus has his left shoulder worked over. Bryan even manages to apply the ‘YES’ lock, but the Irishman gets to the ropes. A generic finisher ends this fall: Bryan starts hammering on Sheamus in the second rope, but Sheamus traps him into a Celtic Cross, and barely covers him for three.

FALL TWO: Sheamus thinks he has the upper hand, but Bryan nearly gets a ‘chicken’ 3 count. Sheamus is enraged, and starts beating the crap out of Bryan. So much so that the ref has no choice but to DQ Sheamus, and give the fall to Bryan to even it all out. To keep up with continuity, Sheamus nearly wants to kick off the head of the ref, but thinks better of it.

FALL THREE: Sheamus just dominates Bryan. Before you think this is a squash, let me remind you there is a point to this. The crowd is so against Sheamus now they want to rip HIS head off! After a second Brogue Kick, Sheamus starts laughing. Then puts on a serious face. This hostile Chicago  crowd is now in a frenzy as the crazed Irishman now kicks off the head of Bryan for a poetic THIRD time, and finishes him. A huge chant of ‘NO’ comes from this crowd as Sheamus has successfully retained the title.

As Sheamus is walking up the ramp with belt in hand, AJ is running down. Although she has been absolutely berated by Bryan over the kiss at Wrestlemania, she never gives up hope on a reconciliation.

AJ looks at the fallen man in the ring and starts crying as Sheamus’ music stops playing. She even kisses Bryan briefly, but quickly wonders why she did it. Bryan starts to come to, and realizes she’s in the ring.

Unlike the past few weeks where Bryan was vocally approved for dumping the girl, this time the crowd wants to see something called the Seven Year Rule.

Bryan gets up, and points at her. The crowd is non-stop in chanting ‘YES’. Bryan thinks of all the hardship done in the last month or so stemming from ‘Mania, thinking can he go back from it. Looking at the crowd, Bryan can either really dump her or take her back.

He takes her back.

As the crowd is in joy over this, it should be noted that Sheamus and Bryan have now double-turned and their feud would be on-and-off for the rest of the summer. It should lead to a Summerslam match where an unstoppable monster in Sheamus is finally clocked by Bryan in the lock of YES. That would begin a big ‘feel-good’ run for Bryan, as multiple men would underestimate the technical master.

On a side note, it should be stated that two ‘Seven Year Rule’ theorems have been accomplished here. One is for the fact that Bryan/AJ is a direct descendant of Savage/Liz, including the wedding that should happen at whatever the July PPV is named. Second, the double-turn would happen at the Rosemont Horizon, the same building that Steve Austin and Bret Hart did their well-known double-turn at.

While WWE will most likely keep status quo this Sunday, please take this as a ‘bizarro world’ post as one Jerry Lawler would call it. How to make a seemingly hot event volcanic in nature? This post, right here!

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