BBB Reviews: In 3-D

Continuing on from my last blog, it is only elementary to review Al’s sophomore album.
Released in 1984, essentially it could really only go up from here. The first album had flashes of brilliance but didn’t have the whole package, which for a freshman album is more than promising.
On my Listmania at Amazon.com, this album came in fifth amongst in my opinion the best Al albums noting, “Al's sophomore album is probably his most underrated album.”
Today, I’m going to re-listen to the album and see if my assumptions are corrections. Let’s waste no more time, put on those gimmicked glasses, AND GO IN 3-D!!!!
1. “Eat It”: A big parody to kick off this album, as it is the parody of the Michael Jackson song “Beat It”, straight down to the music video! This song is, well, about eating and not wasting any food, although you’d hardly SEE food in the music video. “Eat it, eat it, get yourself an egg and beat it!”
The biggest difference between this album and the debut in the aural presentation is immediately clear. It SOUNDS like an album that was given a more fleshed-out budget, and therefore while some things remain intentionally cheesy, it’s sound feels a lot more professional. Strong opener track!

Original

Imitation. Very close, isn’t it? Sadly, licensing restrictions ban the widget from appearing lyrics. At least that makes up for it!

2. “Midnight Star”: This song is the one I kicked off my underrated Al list, and I still stand by my findings.
An original song, the main thing being poked fun at is the often unbelievable tabloids found in the grocery store. As the main character gets a paper cut in his eye, he gets to learn things he never knew before, like how your pet maybe an extraterrestrial, while the ghost of Elvis in living in your den.
The unfortunate thing about this tune is a lack of a music video in the animated variety. I say that because most of the lyrics are in exaggeration, and some of the best animation is in that frame of mind. Like a tabloid story, dig up Tex Avery from the grave and animate it, please?

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Midnight Star lyrics
3. “The Brady Bunch”: Another parody. This time making fun of “Safety Dance” from Men without Hats, the song is about a family struggling on what to watch, but then they all agree on, well, The Brady Bunch.
Like “Ricky” from the last album, this song definitely does a variation of that famous theme near the end of the song. It is probably one of the best examples of song-twisting I have ever seen, as it seems like sixteenth notes had to hit in 6/8, which is never an easy task. A quick track, but enjoyable nonetheless.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - The Brady Bunch lyrics
4. “Buy Me a Condo”: Original song this time around, mostly a style parody of what sounds like Bob Marley.
The whole song revolves around a man of Jamaican descent moving to the US and needing things to adapt to the culture.
“I’m gonna buy me a condo, I’m gonna buy me a Cuisinart, Get a wall-to-wall carpeting, Get a wallet full-o credit cards!”
He also wants to become a Amway distributor, as he proclaims to not work on the field ever again.
For the most part, it is goofy and out-of-whack to hear Al doing that accent the whole way, but it was a chance that nearly paid off.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Buy Me A Condo lyrics
5. “I Lost on Jeopardy”: A parody, this time of “Jeopardy” by The Greg Kihn Band.
The story of the song revolves around Al going up against a plumber and a architect, both with PHd’s on the Jeopardy game show (as in the original where it’s ‘our love’s in jeopardy’).
I’m not going to describe much about this song other than the music video makes perfect sense about things. Just watch, as also this was my first exposure to Al in the mid-90’s by my aunt who brought over an Al tape of music videos:

“THAT’S RIGHT AL, YOU LOST, AND LET ME TELL YOU WHAT YOU DIDN’T WIN!” My brother and I would nail that part of the song down perfect every time.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - I Lost On Jeopardy lyrics
6. “Polkas on 45”: If this is the first time you read a review, and wondered what the hell a polka is, well here is your ‘Al’ definition:
A polka is a mish-mash of songs of theme or relevancy, set to sound-effects and accordion!
With that out of the way, here is the song list of the initial outing of Polka:
"Jocko Homo" by Devo
"Smoke On The Water" by Deep Purple
"Sex (I'm A...)" by Berlin
"Hey Jude" by The Beatles
"L.A. Woman" by The Doors
"In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" by Iron Butterfly
"Hey Joe" by Jimi Hendrix
"Burning Down The House" by Talking Heads
"Hot Blooded" by Foreigner
"Bubbles In The Wine" by Lawrence Welk
"Every Breath You Take" by The Police
"Should I Stay Or Should I Go?" by The Clash
"Jumping Jack Flash" by The Rolling Stones
"My Generation" by The Who
Weird, wasn’t it? That was my main impression of this polka, and it is definitely not the best one Al would do. Since it’s a first one though, I’ll give this one a free pass like a car a lap down in a NASCAR race.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Polkas On 45 lyrics
7. “Mr. Popeil”: An original in spirit, but a style parody of the B-52’s. Remember all those infomericials in the ‘80s with this guy trying to cut a can with a knife, or any other stupid gadget rolling across your way?
That man my readers is Ron Popeil, a man who made quite the living off these products and infomericials that made him (in)famous.
“How much would you pay? Don’t answer yet, just look what else you get!”

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Mr. Popeil lyrics
8. “King of Suede”: Another parody, this time of “King of Pain” by The Police. In typical Al fashion, this track revolves around a suede businessman who really, uh, tries to undersell everything and eventually goes out of business.
This song sounds like a track that should be a commercial for Men’s Warehouse, “I guarantee it!”
Unfortunately, “Don’t miss out on our giant liquidation sale,” lets you know that Al’s tactics as salesman don’t pay off as while the coupons arrive in next week’s mail, it’s the same old sale as yesterday!

No lyrics, but here’s the song as apology!

9. “That Boy Can Dance”: An original song revolving around a completely inept boy named Jimmy turning into a smashing success of a dance master.
The song, as told from Al’s point of view, makes Al sound like  a bully while the kid is just one of those Machiavellian little twerps just struggling to get by. “Picking teams he would always be last, he couldn’t run very far, he couldn’t think really fast.”
This sounds like a movie that should have been made already, just with the imagery of the kid’s bad luck, bad glasses, and just being downright humiliated.
While the kid’s beginning was less than promising, “When he was much older, he had a dance studio. He had a tiny-bopper fan club, he had his own TV show.” Plus he owns half of Montana! Damn, and you can see the unaccomplishment in the face of Al.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - That Boy Could Dance lyrics
10. “Theme from Rocky XIII”: Pardon my laziness, but here is a cut and paste from a prior blog entry:
While the song may not sound familiar, the tune it parodies is celebrated the world over. A parody of “Eye of the Tiger” from Survivor, this ditty revolves around a hypothetical THIRTEENTH Rocky movie whose plot sets around the main character owning a deli. Yes, I am serious. In the song, it talks about Rocky in his older (and apparently fatter) days, “sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain!” Follow the non-existent plot and then just bask in the glory of Al in his youth making up something goofy.
I don’t think 10 minutes of thinking could have made anything better. It does truly represent youth and imagination, as it was present on the whole album. Now kids, get your glasses ready, because for the last track, you will NEED them!

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Theme From Rocky Xiii lyrics
11. “Nature Trail to Hell”: The finale, and one hell of a gory original track to boot.
It’s a parody of a reboot of 3-D, full of “in-your-face” imagery and “Satan eating cheese whiz” (the backwards message 3/4 of the way in).
“See severed heads fall right in your lap, see that bloody hatchet, coming right at you! You’ll never see hideous effects like these again, ‘til we bring you Nature Trail to Hell part 2!”
At this point, it’s also Al’s longest track at just under six minutes in length. While it drags a little in the middle, it is actually fast–paced despite the brooding tempo of trying to promote a 3-D horror movie. It also starts a tradition of putting the longest song on LAST in an album, but this song feels like another grindhouse feature tacked onto an album full of light, cheery ambivalence.

Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - Nature Trail To Hell lyrics
In conclusion, this album is still Al’s most underrated. He tackled a lot of new genres, with mostly success to boot, and he even debuted a polka, something that no other artist has tried to duplicate. The next album Al will have is what I think is his zenith in the 80s’, and my theory will be put to the test, NEXT!

BBB Top 10: The Best ‘Weird Al’ Songs That Aren’t on a Greatest Hits Album.

(If you purchase this, you might help me buy a copy of my own! That’s my way of telling you I get slight residuals.)

With the legend’s new album coming out on June 21st, it would mark the first time since 2006 that ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic released a full-length album full of new material.
The album, entitled “Alpocalypse” features newly-recorded material with “previously” released material, as in the ‘Internet Leaks’ album available only on iTunes. While it’ll no doubt be a ‘typical’ Al album of parodies, originals, and downright sick-in-nature anthems, it goes to show that Mr. Yankovic is a man who never goes irrelevant and always stays on topical issues.
However, there are songs in his library that, like my prior blog about Billy Joel, are never talked about and thus feel like neglected children. Therefore today, we’re unearthing them, and perhaps you might take another  gander at these true gems.
(As always, these songs are in CHRONILOGICAL ORDER, and there will be Amazon links after the numericals, just in case your record space needs some more filling!)
1. “Midnight Star”, In 3-D, 1984:
 

Jumping to Al’s second album, because quite frankly the best stuff from the first album has been hailed over while the second-hand stuff remain second-hand, In 3-D remains an underrated album in the ‘Weird Al’ cannon. This track is the second one on the album, and it’s a original tune whose topic is around those ridiculous tabloids you see in the grocery store. “It says the ghost of Elvis is living in my den.” That’s just a sample of the bizarre imagery that not only infiltrates this song, but the whole album.

The frog boy is on the loose again!

2. “Theme from Rocky XIII”, In 3-D, 1984

While the song may not sound familiar, the tune it parodies is celebrated the world over. A parody of “Eye of the Tiger” from Survivor, this ditty revolves around a hypothetical THIRTEENTH Rocky movie whose plot revolves around the main character owning a deli. Yes, I am serious. In the song, it talks about Rocky in his older (and apparently fatter) days, “sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain!” Follow the non-existent plot and then just bask in the glory of Al in his youth making up something goofy.

Stay away from the tuna it smells funny tonight!

3. “I Want a New Duck”, Dare to be Stupid, 1985:

Once again, another parody. This time its from a very popular band in the 80s’ called Huey Lewis and the News, who had a single called, “I Want a New Drug”. In typical Al looney-ness, it describes how Al desperately wants a new duck with the characteristics of a human, “not a swan or a goose… I’ll name him Bruce!” Look out for segments in the song where the “backup” immediately turns into ducks quacking! As a eight-year old that cracked me up, and as an older person it still does. And you thought I was going for the pun? Nah!

I want a drake I’ll dress real cute, I’m think I’m gonna name him Bruce!

4. “Slime Creatures from Outer Space”, Dare to be Stupid, 1985

One of the very first songs to be recorded for the album, this song in a way feels like it should have been recorded for “In 3-D”. The song revolves around, well, the slime creatures coming in from outer space and completely destroying Earth as we know it. “They’re not very nice to the human race,” Al says, as he hopes none of them come in because he just washed the rug. That’s lyrics you just don’t hear from anyone else, and again, eclectic Al does the impossible!

It’s not complete, but rare nonetheless.
5. “Alimony”, Even Worse, 1988:

While it’s a parody, it reflects nothing of the track its life owes its existence to. “Mony Mony” by Billy Idol was a track made almost exclusively for clubs, “Alimony” is a sad tale about a man getting everything yanked off his back because of a divorce. Keep in mind, Al didn’t get married FOR THE FIRST TIME until a decade or so later, so this song was pretty much made for fun. “Workin’ three jobs just to stay in debt now.” That’s probably the least of his worries, as his car, and even his toothbrush are taken because of said “divorce”. A genuine Al torture song, but not in terms in gore and literal guts, but of hardship and figurative guts. The literal guts would be in the form of “Good Old Days” from the same album.

It’s a “live” parody of a “live” track! XD

6. “The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota”, UHF, 1989
 
(It’s a good movie! I swear!)
This song gives birth to a somewhat-tradition of Al’s: Put your longest song LAST on the record! At nearly seven minutes, this song feels as long as the road trip the characters of this song make, as you guessed it, they travel to Minnesota to look at the biggest ball of twine in the whole wide world! A song I wish was somehow worked into the movie, it sounds like something promoted on that channel! The imagery, that of kids jumping around in the back seat asking “are we there yet” is some old-time nostalgia, that of 20 years to the former. And who wants to eat pickled weiners and diet chocolate soda? Yum? I DON’T KNOWWWWWWW! As the dad character, Al wonders (in paraphrase) of what the hell the point was with this ball of twine? After the gift shop expenditure, time to go home, and there is seven minutes gone! 

A road trip of a song. I wonder if anyone experienced the pickled weiners and diet chocolate soda?

7. “When I Was Your Age”, Off the Deep End, 1992:

THIS, my friends, is perhaps the author’s personal favorite Al song. The main character, a much-older Al of bitter and disenfranchised memories, talks about how the current generation (with Nintendos and water beds) is so spoiled (to his salt on snails and sleeping on broken glass). The exaggerations in this song are quite staggering, “Nobody ever drove me to school when it was 40 degrees below! I walked buck-naked, through 40 miles of snow!” Like “Good Old Days” briefly mentioned in the ‘Alimony’ entry, this song is a gore and guts torture song to the zenith degree. “They chopped me into pieces, and played frisbee with my brain! I’m gonna tell ya junior, you never heard me complain when I was your age!” I will also note, in a very schilling way, that if you buy the album above, has to be in CD form though, you will get an easter egg at the very last song (You Don’t Love Me Anymore). Trust me, it’s a good one!

Used old rusty nails, we had no Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails!

8. “Since You’ve Been Gone”, Bad Hair Day, 1996:

By far the shortest song on this countdown at just a shade under a minute and a half, but wow what a piece it is. Essentially, it’s a song talking about how Al misses his girl, who broke up with him. To get his feeling across, Al uses his wonderful library of gross imagery/exaggerations to describe the internal trauma, “I dropped a two-ton bowling ball on my toes… shoved a red-hot cactus up my nose”. The ending though is the greatest contradiction I may have ever heard, “I feel almost as bad I did… when you were still here!!!!” May I also add this song was done ENTIRELY in a cappella, so no instruments or sound effects were used, it was ALL voice, just adding to the raw undertones already in play. This whole album could have comprised this list!

An ice-cream headache that won’t go away!

9. “All About the Pentiums”, Running with Scissors, 1999:

If “When I Was Your Age” is my favorite SONG, then Running with Scissors is my favorite ALBUM. A tight set-list, not one skippable track, and while it might go through rose-eyed glasses for nostalgia, it holds up even more than a decade later. This selection, parody of “All About the Benjamins” by Puff Daddy (or P Diddy, or Sean Combs, or whoever the hell he is this week), essentially talks about technology getting outdated as soon as you unwrap it. Although no one will have 100 gigs of RAM anytime soon, the overall message of age of technology is as timely as it ever was. With Pentiums falling by the wayside to dual-cores, and then “Cores” (that’s your ‘I’ systems, of i3, i5, and i7) coming in, CD-ROM has now evolved to Blu-Ray, and RAM is now in the Gigs from Megs with huge speed to match. Bill Gates may not do your tech support, but at least Windows 7 is not as “holey moley” as Vista when it first came out. Also watch out for Drew Carey in a cameo appearance! And did I say this was my favorite of Al’s albums?

I don’t feed trolls and I don’t read SPAM!

10. “A Complicated Song”, Poodle Hat, 2003:

Of all of Al’s albums, this is amongst my least favorite pile. It didn’t click with me on day one, and still doesn’t although there are still more than enough hits to keep me coming back. Of all songs on that album however, who woulda thunk cute lil’ Avril Lavigne and “Complicated” would be the inspirational basis for this parody? While the original’s core theme was about relationships, this one has to do with a chain of events related to eating WAY too much pizza at a party only Al attended. Or, trying to make a chain of events that makes the situation in question end in “-ated”. For example, constipated is beleaguered with irrigated and evacuated for his colon, related for his near “incest” with a girl who turned out to be his cousin, and then decapitated as his head flies off after hitting a beam on a roller coaster. Some people call it classless, I say it’s classic Al, no matter how the cake is cut.

EXTRA CHEESE…SAVE A PIECE FOR ME!

Oh crap, there’s one more song I need to mention. Sorry Nostalgia Critic, I’m going to steal a gimmick of yours. And no, the song is question is NOT “Everything You Know is Wrong”, the track used in that man’s “Top Eleven Screw-Up” videos. As a matter of fact…
11. “Weasel Stomping Day”, Straight Outta Lynwood, 2006

This is a gory, GORY track. As a matter of fact, it’s probably the goriest track outside of “The Night Santa Went Crazy”. An original and very short (1:37) song, the tune is essentially polka-sounding with a lot of sound effects for crunching and oozing. The song is about, you guessed it, WEASEL STOMPING! A town celebrating this sick holiday, complete with Viking boots, lots of mayonnaise, and guns being put down in lieu of said boots. The music video is genius, as it is created by the same people who made the Robot Chicken series on Cartoon Network’s “Adult Swim”. To find that, just flip the disc over. Straight Outta Lynwood is a “dual-disc” design where one half of the disc is a audio CD with the regular album, and the other is a single-layer DVD where it is primarily music videos and a DVD-audio version of the LP.

So come along for a laugh, snap their weasely spines in half!

In conclusion, I realized there are at least another 10 Al songs I could do, considering the vast library of said work. However, for now, these are ten I consider un-sung classics, songs that define ‘Weird Al’ and his main core of themes and rhythms. Come June 21st, there’ll most likely be MORE unsung heroes, so until then, “they took out all my internal organs just to pay the rent!”