WrestleMania Profile: Brock Lesnar

There are men on the WWE roster who have made great impressions over a short time. On the flip side, there are men on the WWE roster who have made little to no impression during their long tenures.

Count Brock Lesnar as one to the former.

Brock is an amazingly gifted athlete. His NCAA championships would serve him very well into the transition to WWE.

In his first six months on the main roster, Brock went from a monster heel killing The Hardy Boyz, to becoming WWE Champion. It was one of the first signs that a change in the guard was coming. With Vince’s company coming off the name change and the end of the Attitude Era. Brock was the face of Ruthless Aggression. Add in a manager, Paul Heyman, and magic was born.

Heyman would turn on Lesnar at Survivor Series 2002 with Big Show, thus solidifying Brock as a good guy.

All this would lead to not only a Royal Rumble victory, but also a shot at the WWE Championship come WrestleMania XIX.

His opponent you ask? A gold-medal Olympic champion by the name of Kurt Angle.

These two men standing face-to-face meant one thing: expect lots of lots of good old fashioned WRESTLING. Sure there was a good chunk of brawling and other shenanigans, but the heart of this contest was laid down in swapping holds.

While this was indeed a very good match it was an unexpected error by Lesnar that changed the game.

With Angle lying prone on the mat, Lesnar threw caution to the wind. He scaled the top rope with a mission at hand. Lesnar flew, but crashed badly. ON HIS FUCKING HEAD!

Lesnar had botched a Shooting Star Press. If it weren't for Angle moving out of the way, we wouldn't be talking about 'The Pain' right now.

Lesnar suffered a concussion off the move. It somehow didn't deter him from delivering a F-5 to cover Kurt. After escaping disaster, a sportsmanlike embrace capped this contest. (On an unrelated note: the hug helped turn Angle face after Kurt returned from neck surgery a couple of months later.)

Lesnar would recover quickly and resume defending the title.

By the time January of 2004 rolled around, Lesnar has completely flipped.

He had turned heel with the guidance of Vince McMahon. Brock had lost then  regained the WWE Championship by defeating Kurt Angle in an amazing Iron Man contest. There was a trail of blood, sweat, and tears (thanks to Zach Gowen's mother) to Lesnar's madness.

The Royal Rumble of 2004 saw Bill Goldberg, who had lost his World Heavyweight Championship the month before, vow to win the big match and go on to 'Mania. Brock Lesnar interrupted the interview saying that since he is the WWE Champion, all the attention should be on him. After Goldberg briefly scared Lesnar, it was evident that the big Georgian was not wavered in his quest.

Then Brock showed up.

Near the very end of the event, Lesnar rushed the ring to give Goldberg a THUNDEROUS F-5. This set up for Goldberg's elimination and Lesnar satisfied in his revenge.

What comes around comes around.

The next month at No Way Out, Goldberg returned the favor.

He Speared Lesnar into oblivion, which allowed Lesnar's opponent Eddie Guerrero to hit the Frog Splash. Eddie was the new WWE Champion while Lesnar was once again on the outside looking in.

After some reservation from Vince McMahon, Lesnar and Goldberg was set for WrestleMania XX. With Stone Cold Steve Austin as the ref.

It was a huge buildup with the possibility of two universes colliding in one epic showdown. How did it do?

Infamously bad!

WRESTLECRAP!

Brock and Bill were both leaving the WWE after this PPV to pursue their other endeavors. The opening portion, a LONG one, was almost constant jaw-jacking. No action save a shove. Hell, a HOGAN chant broke out for something completely irrelevant ringside.

Goldberg would win with the Jackhammer to a chorus of boos. Both men were heavily booed, so nothing changed on that front. Austin would have the last laugh as he Stunnered both men out of the company covered in beer to boot.

As for Lesnar, his short WrestleMania resume is more memorable than most superstars'. For all the good and bad reasons, Lesnar will be a legend at 'Mania, even if his stats sheet is just lines long.

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CONTESTS

WrestleMania XIX: Brock Lesnar def. Kurt Angle via pinfall to capture the WWE Championship. Lesnar botched a Shooting Star Press near the very end and nearly killed himself. Lesnar got to his feet and F-5'ed Angle out of sheer instinct. After the contest, both men shared an embrace. (21:08) ****1/4

WrestleMania XX: Goldberg def. Brock Lesnar via pinfall after Lesnar suffered both a spear and Jackhammer. Steve Austin, the referee, pinned Lesnar's shoulders down. Post-match, both combatants in the match received Stunners, the only cheers this match got. (13:47) *

Length of In-Ring Action: 34:55 (34 minutes, 55 seconds, or approximately 17:27 a match)

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WrestleMania Profile: ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage

When you think of WrestleMania, you would normally think of men like Hogan, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, and perhaps John Cena. One man whose history is often overlooked, especially in today’s climate, is Macho Man Randy Savage.

Savage, real name Randy Poffo, had a history enriched in wrestling. His father, Angelo, was also a wrestler and promoter. Freakishly enough though, Angelo’s claim to fame was his uncanny ability to do sit-ups for endurance time periods, thus necessitating an appearance on Ripley’s Believe it or Not.

Savage’s notoriety in the territories made him an instant heat magnet in the WWE. In 1985, Randy debuted against ‘Quick Draw’ Rick McGraw, and beat the jobber to a pulp. His presence was immediately felt in the WWE Universe.

By the time 1986 rolled around, Savage’s momentum was on an upward swing. In February of that year, Savage won the Intercontinental Championship from Tito Santana. This would lead to Savage’s first ‘Mania program with George Steele.

Steele, whose personality primarily revolved around acting like a heelish animal in earlier times, resorted to acting like a benevolent animal in 1980s WWE. Savage taunted him while flaunting his belt. Steele would lose his match, but not his fans.

Savage’s title reign would last over a year. It had a great array of matches ranging in opponents ranging from Steele, to Jake Roberts, to Ricky Steamboat.

Steamboat was injured at the hands of Savage on Saturday Night’s Main Event in November of 1986 as Savage dropped the axe-handle from the top turnbuckle onto a prone Steamboat on the guardrail. Ricky returned a couple of months later to challenge Savage for the IC gold at WrestleMania III. In front of the historically large crowd of 93,000+ people at the Pontiac Silverdome, Steamboat won the gold in a match where the game changed. This contest influenced a generation of new wrestlers, from the high-flying to the multiple near-falls.

The sunset of 1987 brought an about-face to Savage’s character. A feud with Honky Tonk Man led to Savage turning good, something that the fans had been dying to see by this point.

For 1988, a brand new challenge would surface itself. After a controversial decision forced Jack Tunney’s hand, the WWE Championship was vacated in favor of a 16-man tournament to crown the new champion.

After Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant, the two men originally embroiled in controversy, lost the big match to a double-disqualification, the field was left wide open. Savage, after winning three grueling matches earlier in the night, was left to face Ted DiBiase, whose night was slightly less enduring. With help from Hogan, Savage got the edge and become champion! All was right in the world as the Mega-Powers formed from the ground to rule the WWE with an iron fist.

Things would fall apart though. Savage accused Hogan of being jealous of both Elizabeth and his WWE Championship. This would lead to the Mega-Powers colliding and then exploding at WrestleMania V, where Hogan won the title again in a hard-fought battle.

Of all the ‘Manias Savage was in, only VI was his real clunker. A forgettable tag match in the undercard of this mammoth event was not what Savage needed, but the next year would provide perhaps Savage’s greatest wrestling moment period.

Savage’s feud with the Ultimate Warrior stemmed from Warrior not allowing Randy to get a title shot. Randy ultimate screwed Warrior out of the WWE Championship by slamming him in the head with his scepter, thus allowing Iraqi sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter to win the gold. Two months of bizarre happenings would ensue, leading to the announcement of the loser retiring following the bout. The two went hard and heavy during the course of the bout. Savage even went so far as to provide FIVE flying elbows to Warrior! None of those put him down! Warrior charged back with his shoulder blocks. The third one was so forceful that Savage needed to be dragged back inside the ring to be counted down! (Read the match histories below to view what happened post-match.)

Going into WrestleMania VIII, Savage had returned to the WWE to fight off challenges from Jake Roberts. After the Rumble, it was revealed that Ric Flair alleged he had relations with Liz. Therefore Flair’s gold was up for grabs. Savage would defer Flair’s tricks, and came up golden for the second time in his WWE career.

In a strange turn of events, Savage went to commentating for WrestleMania IX. Chalk it up to injury, subpar card placement, whatever you will. At least he looked only like Macho can as he was dressed in his ‘traditional’ outfit amongst a sea of togas!

Lastly, WrestleMania X saw him get out of the booth, and battle his former friend Crush. In the Falls Count Anywhere stip of 1994, the referee has a minute to count-out either of the combatants. Crush was unsuccessful in taming Savage, but Randy’s masterful plan worked. Crush was hanging around so to speak as Randy ran back into the ring to win the match. A unique albeit average match, it ended Savage’s WrestleMania career on a whimper.

In the long run though, Savage’s WrestleMania trials and tribulations would be summarized as legendary. Many great matches and opponents would help Randy elevate his game. A two-time WWE Championship winner on the grandest stage, and even retained the IC belt once. Savage is often overlooked for helping contribute to WrestleMania’s legacy, and that is a shame.

Savage would work for WCW and TNA while retiring quitely later in the 2000’s. He died in the year 2011 after suffering a heart attack while being behind the wheel. His wife may no have been able to save him, but she drove Savage’s car to safety without hitting other vehicles.

Hopefully by reading this, you’ll see that Savage belongs to the long list of greats at this historic event. He has had more than his fair share of great moments, and some of matches are right up there with the best of the rest. Savage will always be a part of wrestling folklore, and this proves it.

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CONTESTS

WrestleMania II: Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth) def. George 'the Animal' Steele via pinfall to retain the Intercontinental Championship as he used the ropes for leverage. Steele went chasing the referee post-match. (7:08) *1/4

WrestleMania III: Ricky 'the Dragon' Steamboat def. Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth) via an inside cradle pin. George Steele was in Dragon’s corner, and would prove substantial as he stopped Savage from beating in Steamboat’s larynx with a ringbell. Steele and Steamboat celebrated post-match. (14:35) ****1/2

WrestleMania IV: Randy Savage won the 16-Man WWE Championship Tournament to become the new WWE Champion. He defeated Butch Reed (4:09), Greg Valentine (6:07), One Man Gang (4:37 via DQ), and Ted DiBiase (9:17) to win it all. Overall: ****, mainly because of the execution of the title win.

WrestleMania V: Hulk Hogan def. Randy Savage via pinfall to become the new WWE Champion. Elizabeth, whom the feud revolved upon, was sent backstage although she stayed in a neutral position. (17:54) ****

WrestleMania VI: Dusty Rhodes & Sapphire def. Macho King Randy Savage & Sensational Sherri when Sapphire rolled up Sherri off a distraction by Elizabeth. (7:31) *

WrestleMania VII: Ultimate Warrior def. Randy Savage in a 'Retirement' Match after pinning Savage on the last of three shoulder blocks. After the match, Sherri became enraged with Savage for losing. This prompted Elizabeth to rush into the ring and stand by her man, although things looked estranged. Savage accused Elizabeth of jumping him, but she ultimately persuaded him it wasn't her. After a brief stare-down, Savage embraced Elizabeth to start his 'retirement' right. Savage took a bow while holding the ropes for Elizabeth. (20:46) *****, for everything from the match to the emotionally draining post-match angle.

WrestleMania VIII: Randy Savage def. Ric Flair (w/Mr. Perfect) via reversal of figure-four to inside cradle pin to become the NEW WWE Champion. Flair kissed Liz, only for Savage to pounce on him while still feeling the effects from earlier. (18:01) ****

WrestleMania IX: Savage arrived in grand style to assume his seat at ringside to commentate on the show.

WrestleMania X: Randy Savage def. Crush in a 'Falls Count Anywhere' match after Crush was hanging upside down backstage, and couldn't answer the referee's count back to the ring. This would be Savage's last in-ring performance in the WWE.  (10:00) **1/2

Overall Record: 7-4* (*: All four of IV’s tournament matches counted separately.)

Overall Combined Length In-Ring: 1:52:05 (1 hour, 52 minutes, 5 seconds).

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For more WrestleMania Profiles, please click on the following:

Shawn Michaels 

Bret Hart

Steve Austin

The Rock

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Remembering Paul Bearer (OH YES!)

 

It was Tuesday night at approximately 9ish when I heard about a rumor.

While listening to Kayfabe Wrestling Radio (which just so happened to feature my friends over at VIPRude) , there lied a Facebook post saying Paul Bearer died at approximately 5:00 PM EST.

I suddenly felt ‘Moody’.

It’s odd that I feel so strongly about Bearer considering I wasn’t a fan of professional wrestling in my formative years. Bearer didn’t become a fixture on my television screen until the year 2004, and even then I knew he was there for practically a nostalgia pop.

What William Moody brought to the proverbial table though was something unique and special, which was to compliment a character equally as unique and special.

A licensed mortician (and he has even kept up on his licenses until death), Moody made strong enough impressions on promoters that he became a manager full-time.

To think that before he became a staple of the WWE, Percival Pringle the Third (III) was quite the decorated mouthpiece. Through the territories and towns, his clientele of wrestlers included Rick Rude, Lex Luger, Blackjack Mulligan, Dingo Warrior (who then became to be ultimately known as the ULTIMATE WARRIOR), amongst a who’s who of legendary greats.

Then Vince and the WWE came a-calling.

It was what you would call the ultimate Christmas present. A few days shy of Christmas 1990, Moody was invited by Vince McMahon to talk business.

Business that would be historic.

Little did William know his background in funeral getups set him up for a lifelong gimmick as a creepy mortician.

Paul Bearer was set up with newly-arrived Undertaker (Mark Calaway). While heels were hated before, these two took it to a whole new level. At live events, it was not uncommon to see kids turn away from the sight of these hideous characters. These same kids were also frightened by the very notion of their heroes about to get their asses kicked by death himself. It was a great paradox for both men, as the gimmick for Mark became more over than rover, and Moody was also just as synonymous with the sidekick.

Even in this wacky world of WWE, these two have a bond that would ultimately stand the test of time. Between betrayals, shocking unveilings, and reconciliations, Undertaker had his guidance peering ever so closely with an urn to possess it all.

While Paul Bearer’s most famous client was The Undertaker, he had several other men underneath his guidance. First we have Mankind (Mick Foley), whom Paul Bearer sided with when he heinously turned his back on Undertaker at SummerSlam 1996. Then there was Vader who started to have a beef with ‘Taker in early 1997.

Then there was Kane, Undertaker’s younger brother. A gimmick that could have been easily WrestleCrap, Glen Jacobs evolved under both Moody and Calaway. Both men rubbed off on his impressionable young man (who was born on a naval base in Spain), and it paid dividends big time.

Bearer has been subject to caricature in recent times from his facial movements to endlessly being tortured. His penultimate WWE appearance saw in being pushed off a makeshift scaffold, in a wheelchair no less, through tables a good 30-40 feet below. He also had the unfortunate final send-off in WWE as being locked in a meat freezer with Kane pretty much laughing it off. Don’t feel too bad though, as Bearer did manage Kane through his lengthy 2010 World Heavyweight Championship reign.

From most accounts, Mr. Moody has been described as practically one of the greatest men in wrestling. He has a charming attitude, a great sense of humor, and more yet, is a man you would definitely want to have a beer with. While sadly I never got to meet Mr. Pringle, I will say that with how he has been described, I feel like I have met him and he became one of my best friends.

One way that Bearer helped me while being a fan was that his character was so exaggerated that I found the finer points of how to imitate a character. His voice has been recreated by quite a few fans over the years, and even by Dolph Ziggler in the WWE tribute.

As a matter of fact, I invite you to watch Episode 46 of Mark’d Up. Yours truly actually did a Paul Bearer impression that culminated in a reading of Percy’s Prayer. While I don’t know how I stacked up compared to other impressions, I can tell you I gave it all I had with some quivering in my voice.

I can’t help but imagine what Bearer’s character would have been if he was one dimensional. Keep in mind folks, he’s had multiple shades of hair, multiple voice octaves, and multiple attires. One day he’s a ghoulish white-faced manager, and the next he looks like a fat man from the street. All the while still scary as hell with the intent of mind games always brewing.

Before I wrap this up, I do need to tell a Paul Bearer story.

So it’s WrestleMania XX. Madison Square Garden. The Undertaker is coming back with all signs pointing to the arrival of the Dead Man.

Long before Bad Booking knew about dirt sheets, I had to go by what I knew. I heard about the exploits of Bearer, but never saw the man straight up live. Or in this case at home on the couch.

I made a joking aside with one of my brother’s friends. We both had a PB impression going on during Kane’s entrance, but when that creepy little man bellowed out his signature phrase, marking out was not the accurate term for how pumped up the room was. The man with the urniverse in his hands had returned, and so hath the Dead Man Undertaker.

I hope you enjoyed reading this ‘emergency’ edition of the blog. It’s eerie how one man can make such a large impact while for the most part only coming in for a classic run. William A. Moody represents what is great about professional wrestling, and the class he carries himself with.

He can surely…. Rest…. in…..Peace….

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Booking Strategy: Undertaker at WrestleMania XXIX

The usual rumblings of rumor are surfacing.

Is Undertaker too banged up?

Can he still go?

Will Undertaker finally hang it up?

At this point even I am not so sure.

The rap sheet of Undertaker’s major surgeries in the last five or so years is as long as Ron Jeremy’s penis War and Peace. Among them are multiple operations to his beaten down shoulders, hips, and knees. Essentially, I believe the man known as The Undertaker is held together by Bondo, wads of spit, and chewed up bubble gum. If it works for million dollar race cars, then it should for human beings too!

All joking aside, Undertaker is definitively in the twilight of his career. His work schedule is limited to all but one match a year with a random special segment here and there.

‘Taker’s rumored opponent for this year’s extravaganza is CM Punk. Punk, a record-setter in the modern era for consecutive days holding for the WWE Championship, has had his fair share of injuries recently as well. Adding to the usual wear and tear is a scope job to his left knee and the after-effects of a suplex gone wrong at a Live event.

These two have also had a somewhat sketchy past when it came to in-ring work together. Their program from 2009 produced two gimmicked PPV matches whose quality were mediocre at best. It is an example of two great workers who can’t mesh, like Mr. Perfect and Shawn Michaels from SummerSlam 1993.

With this quandary of health on the horizon, it just so happens another telegraphed angle is about to happen.

And those two angles should be mixed.

Together, it would be a first time, last time, and only time this would happen for Undertaker at WrestleMania: a tag match. A really high-profile tag encounter with some of the most colorful characters in the WWE right now.

Here is how this would all come together:

The problems with Daniel Bryan and Kane are obvious. There is a severe crack in the foundation, one that even Dr. Shelby can’t fix. Egos are coming to the surface with future ambitions of both men seemingly driving this team apart.

When the break-up begins, it will be ugly.

A triple threat tag match on RAW will have the WWE Tag Team Championships on the line. Hell No, Brodus/Tensai, and Rhodes Scholars are at the ready. After some miscommunication, Kane gets dropped by Rhodes and loses the titles for his team.

Daniel finally makes the turn and beats his now-to-be former partner into oblivion. After this savage encounter, Bryan looks down at Kane with somber remembrance. He even touts his ‘YES’ into the air, but with less enthusiasm then normal.

CM Punk lost his match to John Cena on RAW. It was a thirty minute epic that had WrestleMania-quality written all over it. Punk thought he had it in the bag with the Anaconda Vice, but Cena got to the ropes. Cena slapped his signature STF on Punk. Punk lasts a whole minute in the maneuver trying to get out, but nothing works. Punk taps and his dream of main-eventing WrestleMania goes down the tubes.

That next week, the opening promo starts with CM Punk bickering about his loss. He said Cena tapped and the ref screwed him out of his dream. Bryan contritely retorts that the ref, that exact same ref, screwed him out of his tag team championship. Both men seem to be on one ugly page.

A page that would turn to darkness.

DONG

The lights come back to Punk and Bryan meeting their new-found hells inside the ring. Undertaker chokeslams Punk while Kane gets Bryan. The two brothers point to the WrestleMania NY/NJ sign with no additional dialogue needed. This hellacious journey to ‘Mania is on its way!

Yes, Undertaker would need to make some appearances on television. Hell, some of them could even be taped. No, not Dr. Shelby sketches, but some cameos by men from the past should be there (OHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSS Paul Bearer).

Punk and Bryan run roughshod through the best of the WWE. Alberto Del Rio? No problem. Sheamus? Like a shark patrolling around an empty butthole. Ryback? Friggen’ done! Seeing as Jack Swagger was just caught for pot, perhaps he should eat ‘crippling’ finishers from both these guys.

Undertaker and Kane do their mind games. More like a who’s who of what they did in the past, both on their opponents and each other. Wax figures inside caskets work. Zeb Coulter being set on fire sure. Another great segment idea is Undertaker/Daniel Bryan face to face. Daniel Bryan says YES to winning at WrestleMania with the lights on while Undertaker barks NO with the lights going out!

Plus, CM Punk can always beat Kane one-on-one as well. Bryan can be the distraction making Kane lose, and Undertaker puts up a wall of fire as the dastardly Cult of (Multiple) Personalities go up the ramp!

So now at MetLife, how would this match occur?

For starters, Punk and Bryan come out together (to Punk’s music) while Undertaker/Kane come out separately. If snow is falling during Undertaker’s entrance, it would be amongst the strangest mood setting for a ‘Mania perhaps ever. Knowing that part of the country this time of year, it’ll either be nice and warm or cold and ‘action-packed’.

Kane starts out against Punk. The big red machine is a BOSS who flings back Punk and then Bryan with ease. It seems the two smaller technical geniuses are at a mismatch.

However there is a reason why Punk and Bryan are amongst the two of the elite in the WWE. Using frequent tags, these two deceiving grapplers beat the crap out of this giant. Whether it’s kicks, punches, rope-based attacks, or even a few submission holds, Kane is able to hold on, but just by barely. There would be teases of Kane tagging in, but only to be stopped by the last second by either Bryan or Punk.

By this point the phenom wasn’t tagged in yet, but Undertaker is nowhere near silent. Not only does he gets his cheap-shot in, but he even is able to douse himself with a bottle of water to get ready for that ‘hot tag’.

Kane later on gets to the ropes after a No Lock was unsuccessful. Daniel Bryan tries a dropkick, but fails. Kane slouches back into the corner to…tag….in….

UNDERTAKER!

The man in purple and black is going to town! Clothesline after clothesline is served with more ferocity than the last. Bryan suffers from Old School, and slips out of the ring. Undertaker follows suit as he does a modified version of Snake-Eyes: On the barricade THEN the big boot! Punk tries to surprise with a high and tight Anaconda Vice, but ‘Taker shrugs him off like a case of fleas.

‘Taker chokeslams Bryan inside of the ring, but Punk breaks it up. Punk is laughing, but walks into KANE! These two masters of their arts better start prayers because the brothers of destructions are waiting to kill them off!

Undertaker to Daniel Bryan.

Kane to CM Punk.

STEREO TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVERS!

1-2-3!

90,000 people shit their pants with the loudest post-match pyrotechnic display ever seen. Undertaker and Kane as The Brothers of Destruction are announced as the winners as no less than 345 replays are shown of the high spots. In true form, the BOD look back at the crowd, turn their backs to them, and raise their arms in the air as if they were post-mortem members of the Nation of Domination.

With WrestleMania clocking in at four hours long, this match (w/ entrances and other gimmicks) could clock easily 30-35 minutes. It gives all four men plenty of exposure while keeping a competitive battleground. In an environment where most of the men here are either badly banged up and/or getting close to retirement, this is a great opportunity to mesh styles and gain respect the good ol’ fashioned way.

Now I wouldn’t expect this to be Undertaker’s last match. If anything, I am still clamoring him to face John Cena one-on-one before he officially retires. Kane’s time maybe limited, but Punk and Bryan I believe are just now starting to hit their primes.

At the end of the day however, it accomplishments will be aplenty. It takes the primary physical toll of a regular one-on-one match off of CM Punk and Undertaker. It allows Kane and Undertaker to finally be a tag team at WrestleMania. It also allows Daniel Bryan to hook up with Undertaker at least once in his career. It also proves that big-name tag matches not only have a place on the big show card, but can also raise the legend of the card for years to come.

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How Outsourcing is Bad for WrestleMania

WrestleMania is going to be a loaded card this year for sure. No doubt about it.

WWE's 29th annual year-end culmination is emanating from MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey on April the 7th. Since the company is having their biggest show in the Northeast this year, the demands of this portion of the WWE Universe faithful will be higher than the average paying audience.

So in this pomp and pageantry, Vince and company are going to pull out all the stops. Everything the WWE perceives in their year (fiscal and kayfabe) lies on this one night in time.

The full-time roster has a talent pool capable of generating a big show on their own. There are established main eventers like John Cena, Sheamus, Randy Orton, CM Punk, amongst others who can deliver in the upper-card. Mid-carders like Dolph Ziggler, Daniel Bryan, Kofi Kingston, Cody Rhodes, and others who are ready to have their break-out moment. A nicely planned four-hour extravaganza can easily be pulled off with nearly a million buys.

However, there are many part-time big-name talents who get called upon just to build a program in the hopes of popping a bigger gate/buyrate for the show.

In a way, this isn't a new practice. To prove this, let's take a look back at the first 'Mania.

Back in 1985 when Vince McMahon first conceived WrestleMania, he called upon many big names to appear. Celebrities like:

Mr. T

Cyndi Lauper

Muhammad Ali

Liberace with The Rockettes

Those people amongst others were contracted in the hopes of giving Vince's new creation national exposure. Keep in mind that since this was 1985, WWE didn't have the national vernacular that it would earn years later. It's understandable that a company must go all for broke in order to back a great vision and Vince wasn't going to back down. WrestleMania proved to be a great outing for McMahon as the heaping returns ensured the future of the company.

As the company became more comfortable with their big stage, the emphasis on celebrities extrapolating the buzz subsided. In a about-face, celebrities have actually asked WWE to be on their show. Whether it is for a promo or even a match, WWE benefits because they get to lure in the audience with the hinting of something additional. The major difference in this time compared to then is that the wrestlers do the sell job while the celebrities are the icing on the cake.

This all sounds dandy and good, but there is another problem to divert to. The selling of WrestleMania to consumers isn't done primarily by the full-time roster anymore.

Instead it is by the stars of yesteryear.

Superstars like The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, and Undertaker are sought in to help pop the buyrates. More than likely they will work with the full-time main event talent to help raise their legends while cementing legacies of their own.

The problem lies within not that they're with the WWE or even that they are in WrestleMania, but how much of the show they are taking away from the rest of the full-time roster.

Let's face it: most of these men are put into matches lasting at least twenty some-odd minutes. When you account entrances with other gimmicks, its not possible to see a particular segment of the show run nearly a full hour.

Now I know that's exaggerated for most programs, but it is not impossible. Those drawn-out portions affect other segments with the unintended potential of leaving advertised matches off the card altogether.

Like the 1980's, this has an effect on the talent as well. While most of the boys had really good paychecks, it was commonly known that they resented having outsiders take away time from their feuds. It was as if their hard work wasn't good enough to earn a spot in the biggest gathering of the year.

That is the problem crippling the mid-card of today's WWE.

Superstars like the aforementioned Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow, amongst others have had the talent to get to the next level. One thing or another has denied them all (although in Sandow's case he's been on the main roster a relatively short time).

For example, Daniel Bryan and Sheamus were given the shaft two years in a row. WrestleMania 27 saw their United States Championship match left off the show completely while their World Heavyweight Championship match a year later only went eighteen seconds! Both men were able to overcome these oversights, but their success is the exception not the rule. Sheamus is even a bona-fide main-eventer, but is not seen in the same league as a Randy Orton or John Cena.

You're reading this now thinking, “Gee, this seemed like a great history lesson delving into another WWE rant on the mistreatment of mid-carders.”

Well, not exactly.

What I am trying to prove is that WWE's philosophy on booking big events is not new. This may never change, but times are different and they shouldn't rely on gimmicks gone by to generate revenue.

As implied earlier, the major difference between 1985 and 2013 is that WWE in 2013 doesn't need a whole ton of help popping a gate. The World Wide Wrestling Federation evolved from a regional Northeastern territory with traces of NWA heritage to World Wrestling Entertainment, a global conglomerate whose business is the measuring stick for all other sports/entertainment companies to be compared to. WWE has also survived steroid trials, the Monday Night Wars, a name change, Chris Benoit, amongst other outrages. Almost anyone on any given street corner can identify WWE one way or another. Whether it is a classic Hulk Hogan moment, a Rock/Austin standoff, or even John Cena on a box of Fruity Pebbles, WWE has practically written themselves on the fabric of America whether us as fans know it or not.

Meanwhile, back at the proverbial ranch, it almost seems as if WWE doesn't have the confidence to allow the mid-carders to advance. Sure there are times where they are thrust into the promised land. Most of the time though it is either in a multi-man match or a throwaway episode of RAW/SMACKDOWN. It's hard to fathom there was a time not long ago where a match like Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio convincingly main evented a show.

With how today's WWE has been booked, it can be easily depicted if that the superstar isn't a main event talent, they just don't matter.

That being said, as detrimental as it sounds, WWE had been doing a good job over the last decade of relying on their own talent to garner success. However, the WWE is falling into the “safe” arms of what is deemed marketable. The Rock is a movie star with several big-budget profit makers to his credit. Brock Lesnar was a UFC Heavyweight Champion, and UFC has proven to generate monster buyrates no matter who highlights the card. Triple H and The Undertaker as noted earlier are two men who have proven their worth on a full-time grind, but should really take a backseat to let their bodies heal. Let's also add that Triple H is now a corporate man whose decisions based on talent relations and other aspects could easily affect the company's future.

WWE has a talent pool that can easily put on a show that can earn the moniker of “The Grandest Stage of Them All”. The main-eventers are established with a mid-card waiting for their next big moment. There doesn't need to be a help in buyrates, and even a lower-than-expected number will generate profit for the company to easily run off of the entire year.

Even with a (not likely) lower-than-anticipated buyrate for 'Mania, don't feel bad about the long-term fiscal aspects. WWE has so many side-outlets and sponsors that the company's financial stability will be ensured for years to come. It's something that cannot be said of 1985, 1995, or even majority of the beloved Attitude Era. Say what you will about the PG Era, but it has allowed Vince and company to branch out with the added ability of ensuring consistent business.

In conclusion, WWE doesn't need outside attractions to headline a WrestleMania. The company doesn't live or die by buyrates, ratings, or even if a certain performer does well or not. This isn't the dark ages or even Attitude. This is an era where WWE is building a foundation focusing on that third initial of their brand name. Money will come in no matter how good/bad a certain event does. While it is nice to have nostalgia pops for men who can still go in the ring, this is not their time.

ADDITION: This doesn’t happen often but I realized I left something out. It needs to be addressed.

There is one more argument to the outsourcing topic and why it isn’t great for business.

The rest of the year!

Let’s face it: A regular WWE year sees action pick up big time either the week after, or maybe a couple weeks after the December pay-per-view.

Big angles are coming to the surface, and big names are teased.

January passes. Rumble happens.

February passes. Elimination Chamber happens.

March is more or less a build-up month. WrestleMania happens either at the end of March or the beginning of April.

The big names in question come in, say their peace, do their match, and leave.

Somehow, WWE has to adequately follow that up.

Extreme Rules, which will happen a little later than usual this year, is usually the synonym for “rematch”. WWE has a somewhat failsafe built into play.

As soon as that event is over, the business falls like a rock.

And I don’t mean Dwayne Johnson.

Ratings for the television go down. The general interest in the product goes down. And if the last five years were any indication, John Cena will dominate the airwaves more than the 1972 Miami Dolphins.

WWE bringing in all these guys for a short time unrealistically sets the bar for the rest of the year. And as more time goes on, these men are getting less effective at their jobs.

Look at The Rock so far going into the Rumble 2013. CM Punk has laid waste to him in promos and looks more convincing as WWE Champion. I’m not even saying that in kayfabe. I’m seeing that as two men with passion for the business, that one looks that much better than the other.

Undertaker’s promo abilities have been dreadful too. The last three or four years, week in and week out, it’s been the same promo about “Last Outlaw” this and “End of an Era” that. With his injury list a who’s who of contorted bones and structures, I’m afraid his last WrestleMania moment will be a suddenly stopped match with a legitimate stretcher job.

Don’t even get me started on Lesnar. Zack Ryder can speak better than him. Plus, Lesnar works so scarily stiff that I believe he will legitimately break someone’s arm in a match without meaning to.

Collectively, I’m burnt out by the notion these same guys will come in, do practically two months of work, leave, and rinse/lather/repeat.

I just wish WWE could take a page out of 1997-1999 and make the WHOLE ROSTER care again. Everyone had a distinct character, voice, and mannerisms. Perennial mid-carders like Val Venis and Godfather get pops back then that were consistent to those of a man in the upper-card today like Randy Orton or Sheamus.

To quote George Carlin: “I have no end for this so I take a small bow…”

 

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Dude’s Love: Mick Foley in the WWE Hall of Fame

The New York Post was the first to report the story.

WWE confirmed it.

Mick Foley is the first announced member of the 2013 class in WWE’s Hall of Fame. He will join multiple other personalities who have contributed to the organization one way or another in a commencement ceremony at the hallowed Madison Square Garden on Saturday, April the 6th. It is the night before WrestleMania XXIX at the MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey.

The spot for Foley to be inducted is ironic because not only will he be inducted as a member of the Hall of Fame there, but it’s also the same arena he went to where he had a life-changing experience.

Like any wrestling fan in his youth, Foley wanted to see a huge show bad. Any means necessary. That meant hitchhiking his way to the Garden.

He is perched…fifteen feet high!

The main event of that show, which took place in 1983 when Mick was just 17, pit Don Muraco against Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka inside of a steel cage. Muraco won the match, but it was Snuka’s post-match leap of faith off the cage which inspired Foley to take up a career in wrestling.

Trained by Dominic Denucci, Foley had a penchant for taking dangerous-looking bumps. This specific physical trait set the stage for not only Foley’s in-ring style, but also some of the most outrageous stunts in professional wrestling history.

While he did work the rounds as a jobber at first, Foley would first strike national attention as Cactus Jack Manson, later shortened to Cactus Jack.  In the early 1990’s, Jack brought an unorthodox style completely unbefitting of an organization whose roots were down in technical/methodical teachings. Simply put, Foley was ahead of his time.

His matches with Vader were infamous. Not only were they hard-hitting, but they also led to an infamous Foley fable. While overseas in Germany, Cactus accidentally lost half an ear during a routine hangman stunt in the ropes. For a man whose rap sheet of injuries is as long as War and Peace, this physical discrepancy was probably his most disfiguring one. Later in the WWE, these two would also be a short-lived tag team. Who knew?

During his time in WCW, Jack was introduced to ECW as part of a talent exchange. Shortly thereafter, the Philadelphia-based promotion run by mastermind (and former WCW co-hort) Paul Heyman would be Foley’s full time job.

Between ECW and numerous stints of hardcore Japan, Foley’s reputation as a death-defying risk-taker were cemented ten-fold. It didn’t matter if it was a VCR or barbed wire, Jack’s uncanny ability for violence left him a figure both beloved and belittled by fans.

WWE came a calling in early 1996. While it was a sad goodbye for Cactus to leave ECW, there would be no looking back from here.

Foley would transform into Mason the Mutilator Mankind. This deranged alter-ego had a dark past while his in-ring persona played off the indication he loved pain. On a side-note, Foley would later appear as a third alter-ego Dude Love. That gimmick wasn’t as well received, but still get recognized as one of the triumvirate of Foley’s faces.

That table bump still makes me cringe!

Undertaker, from what this blogger understands, requested to be the opponent for Foley’s first WWE program. Mankind’s first WWE appearance sure enough was jumping the Undertaker after a match on RAW the night after WrestleMania XII. These two would feud on and off for the next three years, setting the stage for some of the most dangerously unbelievable matches perhaps ever in the history of sports-entertainment. At the same time, the style in which these two worked complimented them. Those battle tactics would translate greatly into their other opponents.

Foley would be a big catalyst during WWE’s Attitude Era. He brought a hardcore edge, one refined from his days in Japan and ECW. As a matter of fact, it was not uncommon to hear ECW chants during various no holds barred encounters. The leap of faith off the Hell in the Cell from King of the Ring in 1998 is widely considered a crowning achievement in WWE. Although this blogger notes getting a Pedigree face-first into thumbtacks is quite badass too.

December 28th, 1998 was the day WWE taped the RAW in which Mankind won the WWE Championship from The Rock. Airing on January the 4th in 1999, this was the show that went up against the “Fingerpoke of asses in the seats'” edition of WCW Nitro. Foley’s title win captured the hearts of millions, while WCW’s title swap broke the hearts of millions. This was the true turning point of the ‘War’, one which WCW could never recover from.

After winning the coveted title two more times in 1999, Foley would ‘retire’ from full time competition in early 2000 after a loss inside Hell in the Cell against Triple H.

While Foley would co-main event WrestleMania of 2000, his next major role in the WWE was that of  the lovable goof Commissioner. His rule was always final as the gavel on the desk illustrated. “MICK JUST GAVE YOU SODA” was as important to his character as getting chucked off a cage.

In later years, Foley would turn up to work the occasional program. Whether it was to make a star out of Randy Orton, or to make Edge the most hardcore son of a bitch as opponent or ally, Foley’s presence in either program highly elevated his opponents’ stature.

Foley also endured a tour of TNA. He did indeed win their big gold strap once, but the run was mostly forgettable.

“WILL YOU BE A LEGEND OR A STATISTIC?”

Foley re-signed with the WWE in 2011. His appearances are sporadic, but he makes them count. Whether it was a comedy spot in the Royal Rumble, or to have a verbal joust with champ CM Punk, Foley’s enigma never wore off with audiences and fans alike.

For a man whose contributions in the WWE could be measured in multiple ways, it is a great honor for Mick Foley to be enshrined in the WWE Hall of Fame. MSG is not only where will history will be forever implanted, but it’s also where it all began for a hitchhiker wanting to see a leap of faith.

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Foley has a number of great products written or filmed on him. If you are new to the man and need to pick some stuff up, here are some links to do so:

Mick Foley’s Author Page @ Amazon – This features all the books he has ever written, ranging from autobiographies to novels.

Beyond the Mat – Barry W. Blaustein’s labor of love revolving around the real world of “fake” wrestling. Mick’s role is painful as he tries to juggle his death-defying antics with family. The original 2000 DVD, which is linked here, features an exclusive commentary track with Foley and Terry Funk.

Hard Knocks and Cheap Pops – WWE’s first full-hearted DVD presentation on Mick Foley. Sure there is Three Faces of Foley (and Madman Unleashed which was A&E’s Biography on him) that was released earlier, but it is nothing but fluff. Released in 2001, it’s a split format of documentary/matches. The documentary is over an hour long, and covers material from later 1999 to the end of 2000. Be aware that the Kennel from Hell match from Unforgiven 1999 is on here with exclusive commentary from Foley and Kevin (not Kelly) Kelly.

Greatest Hits and Misses, A Life in Wrestling – WWE’s second foray into presenting Foley’s career. This is all matches, albeit with some awesome bonus features added in. The version linked is the 2007 “Hardcore Edition”, which is an expanded third disc option. If you’re new to the wrestling biz, get that one as it contains more recent matches in there as well.

Wrestling Legend - If you need a ‘best of’ compilation of Foley’s TNA work, it is all there. I’ll admit I missed most of it, but some of those matches look pretty darn good.

For All Mankind – Not to be confused with a History Channel documentary by the same name, this is the new WWE project chronicling Foley’s life and career. As of this writing, the DVD and Blu-ray are scheduled to be released April the 16th. The format is expected to be documentary/matches. The documentary is planned around Foley’s life, while the matches may have a lot of repeats. At least the repeats won’t be censored this time, as some of them on recent sets are blur-fests.

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It wouldn’t be a Foley article without this:

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Jerry Lawler’s Heart Attack Post

Monday night, I went to bed earlier than usual. It was an exhausting day, and quite frankly, sleep sounded more important to me than a seemingly normal episode of RAW.

As I was getting ready to go back to work the next morning, that’s when I saw the headlines.

Oddly enough, AOL.com had a picture of a distressed Michael Cole with a tagline revolving around losing it on air. Cole has had a heel character for quite some time, so I was thinking maybe he went off script.

Only something far worse occurred off script, and it may very well change the foundation of the WWE.

WARNING: THIS VIDEO IS UNCOMFORTABLE AND DISTURBING. DON’T WATCH IF YOU DON’T WANT TO!

The video enclosed up above shows the event in progress as Daniel Bryan & Kane were taking on Prime Time Players (Titus O’Neil and Darren Young). The commentary turns stone silent as the rest of the match rolls on. Cole stayed true to his colleague all the while being professional. This must be commended, even if you’re not a fan of the guy. Cole would then update the WWE Universe on Lawler’s condition. The expressions on Michael’s face were all too reminiscent of Lawler’s when he saw Owen fall to his death in May of 1999.

From sources I have read, the heart attack was caused by a massive blockage in his arteries. The blockage, caused by plaque buildup, restricts blood flow to the heart. The heart’s primary job is to pump blood back out into the body. It’s imperative to note that since no blood was coming out of the heart, no blood was reaching Lawler’s brain. This could have caused permanent damage, and  further tests needed to be done in order to assess the damage done.

This morning, the tests came back with the knowledge that JERRY’S BRAIN WAS NOT DAMAGED! While King has a long road to recovery, I wish him nothing but the best. For a 62 year old, he is still amongst the most versatile members of the WWE roster. His absence for the next little while will be felt tremendously.

With Lawler’s heart attack front and center in everyone’s thoughts, it is important to discuss heart health. Jerry’s heart attack is an event that very well could have been prevented if the warning signs were detected early. The heart is a muscle, just like biceps or triceps. Underworking or overworking a muscle can do damage, in addition to other lifestyle choices. The plaque buildup can be attributed to other causes (like smoking, high cholesterol, etc.) and can also be prevented by lowering already-high blood pressure and LDL’s (or the “bad” cholesterol). Moral of the story: While there is nothing one can do about a sudden blockage, this case seems to have signs that very well could have been spotted YEARS before the actual attack.

On a side note, I would like to acknowledge another wrestling endeavor Jerry Lawler has been involved with, and no doubt his absence will affect in just over a week.

Northeast Wrestling, an organization I’ve mentioned in the past, will be presenting their biggest event ever on Saturday, September 22nd. “Wrestling Under the Stars”, located at Dutchess Stadium in Fishkill (New York), is the first NEW event held at a locale other than either the Mid-Hudson Civic Center or a high school gym. This is an event so big, that HULK HOGAN was contracted to do this event!

Michael Lombardi, promoter of Northeast Wrestling, is also friends with Lawler. While Jerry shows up to most of the events to begin with, it was only natural for Lawler to participate in a match in the undercard tagging with former Yankee Joe Ausanio against Luke Robinson and Romeo Roselli (whom in a nice treat would be managed by ‘Mouth of the South’ Jimmy Hart). Now the listing for the bout is Ausanio, with a partner.

As a fan of NEW for many many years, I just want to say to Michael Lombardi himself: If you’re reading this, I just want to say that while Lawler’s absence will be a huge void, ‘Wrestling Under the Stars’ will be a smash success nonetheless, and it will be the greatest spectacle for your organization yet!

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Tonight, please hug a puppy. They’re our best friends, have happy dispositions, and…

Oh wait, I don’t think those there the PUPPIES Lawler was talking about!

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