BBB Reflects on Last Night’s RAW

If you may remember from yesterday, I wrote this ditty. Long story short, I was excited about what happened from the Money in the Bank event, and that RAW had to be absolutely electric as a fallout (and no, I don’t mean the games from Bethesda).

So here we are. Monday Night Raw from Green Bay, the hometown of the Packers and a certain wrestler who should have been McMahon’s bastard child four years ago.

This maybe correct if the question was, “Who won against Chavo Guerrero in the best of infinity series of 2009/2010?”

Ah yes, Raw. The show started with Vince McMahon, in a suit only Silvio Dante from ‘The Sopranos’ would cherish, walking into the ring with John Laurinaitis to cut a promo. The promo’s significance was bound to be so great, that the locker room pooled around a TV.

 

Oh hai to you too Evan! Courtesy of the FAN Forums.

The elder McMahon, in his signature rambling, explained how not one singular man was greater than the whole of his juggernaut WWE.

After “blacklisting” CM Punk and “wiping” the title reign away, McMahon announced a tournament to crown the next successor to the spinney gold belt.

For the next two hours, superstars including Alberto Del Rio, Rey Mysterio, R-Truth, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, Alex Riley, and The Miz all competed in matches to try to solidify their place in history.

The conclusion of the tourney was to be The Miz, who had battled knee problems stemming from that spot the night before, against Rey Mysterio who while not in any great shakes of his own still managed to beat two men with the same finisher!

Coming back from commercial break, Mysterio was celebrating his win over Truth when Miz should have come out to face him in the finals.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, close-to-geriatric McMahon in his ridiculous pink suit makes an appearance. He tells Rey that the show is almost over, he needs to make an announcement, and that the ‘Master of the 619’ should leave.

While reluctantly leaving, Rey was told he would have that title match against Miz next week. Okay, at least RAW is worth watching next week, if for nothing else!

So now McMahon is in the ring about to can John Cena. If you’re synapses are not that good, here is the low-down: Cena had to retain the title against Punk, or else he would be fired.

What do you mean fire him?

Adios. Sayonara. Don’t let the door hit you in the butt on the way out.

(Shout-out to RD Reynolds and Wrestlecrap while we’re at it.)

In another staged mind of “grumpy”, Vince tells the audience he does what’s right for the business and the fans. Cena then comes out, says some stuff while goes to three different ways of thought, but in the end it’s McMahon’s call.

John Cena…yerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

… (boom)

TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

To a massive ovation, Triple H comes down to the ring in a very professional looking suit. It’s been said that Triple H has been gaining power in the WWE, and even has his own office at the headquarters in Stamford to prove it. Too bad Sin Cara already got himself in trouble, but what’s success without a little tumbling eh?

So Trips comes down the aisle, he looks tired and just about sad. After about five minutes worth of stumbling dialogue, Hunter tells McMahon that as a result of a board of directors meeting which resulted in no confidence, Vince is relieved of his duties.

This is where Vince McMahon should get an Emmy nomination.

Vince goes from egomaniacal bad guy to a weeping and sobbing quiver of a mess that the fans have no choice but to feel sorry for. Hunter couldn’t keep with the waterworks in delivering the bombshell.

Which is something else I’d like to delve on for just a moment.

You see, a few years back, this would have been Triple H as a performer yelling, “YERRR FIRED,” to a thunderous ovation and Pedigree.

This go round however, he does it as if you’re receiving a letter of termination from your soon to be ex-employer. That’s how “mature” Helmsley has become, he has that professional voice to him that goes well in world matters.

Watch it for yourself suckers!

 In the aftermath, John Cena was spared a firing, and thus he has officially become that status of, “…untouchable, but I’m forcing you to feel me!” Second overruled firing in a year, most people wish that could happen to them!

So yeah, WWE’s got my interest now. This week’s installment of the flagship was nothing but balls-to-the-walls action amongst uncertainty and (kayfabe) fear. That soap-opera-esque promo segment at the end of the show really put a new spin on things, and where it goes will be all the more fun (or not) next week.