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Saturday, July 20, 2013

Top 15 SummerSlam Sizzlers Part One

It will be here before you know it! WWE’s got their big annual summertime tradition coming up in the form of SummerSlam.

Since its inception, SummerSlam has generally been regarded as the second biggest PPV of WWE’s fiscal year. Storylines begin, climax, and end all during this time. In the background, strange one-off occurrences can also make their presences known.  Some of these accentuating angles may not seem big at first, but time can definitely measure the staying power.

By this definition, a ‘sizzler’ could very well be a synonym for ‘attribute’. In this countdown, you will see major revelations, reveals, flashes, screwjobs, etcetera, that have made SummerSlam the hottest ticket for PPV subscribers since the inaugural event in 1988.

Without further ado, time to put the meat of the article on the grill and let it… sizzle.

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15. Team WWE Got It’s Seventh Man Fit to be Tied…-SummerSlam 2010

The irony is overwhelming in the year 2013.

 

Wow, three years ago already? For a lot of us fans, this seemed like only yesterday!

As a good chunk of this audience recalls, one of the most shocking debuts in WWE history definitely belongs to the renegade group known as The Nexus. Consisting of all the NXT rookies from the first season (Wade Barrett, Michael Tarver, Heath Slater, David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield (aka Ryback), and Darren Young), their signature plan of attack would be to surround the ring, then scavenger the prey like savages.

Now notice how I “forgot” to type in someone’s else in the above description.

That last man in the equation was Daniel Bryan.

Bryan, whose real name is Bryan Danielson, was an indie darling before coming to the WWE, and also by far the most experienced wrestler the group had. On the NXT show however, he was made to look like the never-say-die guy who lost all the time.

That had no affect on Bryan going into the Nexus debut.

All eight of these rookies on June the 7th made their menacing alliance in an orchestrated, albeit unpredictable attack on John Cena. From the ramp and the audience themselves, these band of misfits suddenly looked like they were a force to be reckoned with.

A force… that literally destroyed the RAW set!

In the fracas, Bryan got to ring announcer Justin Roberts. Bryan used Roberts’ own tie to choke the bastard purple.

This caused Bryan to be “fired” from the WWE.

In an unwritten rule, apparently no chokes can be used in a WWE match. When this rule was enacted, the author doesn’t know. There were aspirations from other forces to be at hand too, but their impression wouldn’t last too long here.

By the time SummerSlam rolled around, Team Nexus (which practically was the aforementioned group with Bryan) versus Team WWE was practically announced as the main event for the show. While Nexus had seven of their guys, WWE still needed one more.

While several men, including Money in the Bank holder The Miz, applied, only one man was selected.

Say hello to the Benedict Arnold of NXT himself, Daniel Bryan!

The Los Angeles crowd were in Staples (yeah, sorry for the pun) over the choice. It was ironic given the affiliations, and yet all so satisfying because we all thought Bryan was gone from the WWE never to be heard from again. Bryan would ultimately make Darren Young tap, but also get eliminated by Wade Barrett (thanks in no small part to Miz).

To think: John Cena picked Daniel Bryan to be on their team in 2010. Now in 2013, Cena picked Bryan to be his opponent for the WWE Championship. This could be HUGE come August the 18th, but for right now, let’s celebrate the shock that was the seventh man being Daniel Bryan.

In addition, I give you the infamous ‘butthole’ promo from Arn Anderson during this time period:

14. The Winds of Change- SummerSlam 2002

 

(Author’s Note: Please read that title in Wade Barrett’s voice. It’s all part of the “bigga pitcha”, one that is never understood nor explained…)

On one corner, is devastation defined. A big brutish dude that stands 6’4”, 295 pounds, has a great mouthpiece in Paul Heyman, and that doesn’t even begin to describe strength feats that read out of a Paul Bunyan playbook. NCAA Champion and soon-to-be UFC fighter, this guy can destroy anyone!

In the other corner, is the definition of a great champion. The pride of Miami, Florida at 275 pounds. A football star turned into hereditary WWE star. A third-generation wrestler, he defied the odds of nearly being let go into becoming arguably the most successful man inside and outside the ring.

You’re damn right Brock and Rock had a lot of hype!

Brock Lesnar earned his championship opportunity by beating Rob Van Dam in the finals of the King of the Ring tournament. A tournament whose stipulation was that the winner earns an Undisputed WWE Championship match at the SummerSlam PPV. Brock’s torrid rapture through the WWE claimed that milestone only a mere three months after he debuted.

The Rock on the other hand was well… The Rock. After filming for several months, Rocky came back in-ring at Vengeance. He defeated The Undertaker and Kurt Angle to win ‘Taker’s Undisputed title.

Naturally, the stage was set: The rookie vs. the veteran. Youth vs. experience. Strength vs. agility.

The match was a grueling testament to both men. In addition was a raucous crowd of Long Islanders, who had switched their alliances during the match.

Between the crowd flipping and the inevitable, Brock Lesnar won the Undisputed Championship, and a trip to the great unknown.

It was quite a trip to see Lesnar win the title so fast and so convincingly. However, he would have to carry that momentum into the months ahead. Brock did an admirable job, setting up a face turn and more WWE title runs ahead of him.

He also paved the way for such men as Edge, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, amongst others, to creep up through the woodwork. The SMACKDOWN roster was the workhorse brand of the WWE, and with Lesnar as its main associate, the future looked very bright indeed.

13. Undertaker URNED That Turn!- SummerSlam 1996

 

As mentioned above, new storyline twists can certainly begin at the summertime tradition. This shocking betrayal is no exception.

For the most part, Undertaker has had feuds that came and went with no real continuity. With the exception of perhaps Yokozuna and the Million Dollar Corporation, Undertaker’s six-year run in the WWE by this point seemed unfestered by a continuous pest.

That was until Mankind showed up.

Mankind debuted the night after WrestleMania XII. He won his match with Sparky Plugg Bob Holly, and then attacked ‘Taker later in the main event.

This led to a King of the Ring singles match. It also led to something truly unprecedented. Undertaker, a character whose only times of loss came with humongous shenanigans, lost clean as a sheet, VIA SUBMISSION, to Mankind.

In a mini-feud with Goldust, ‘Taker came out on the losing end of a match at International Incident. Not because he lost (technically won via DQ), but it was due to Mankind pulling ‘Taker underneath the ring. After ‘Taker gets his wits about him, he starts beating up Mankind back to the locker room, THEN A BOILER ROOM!

So alas we are given a Boiler Room Brawl for SummerSlam.

In the mix lies Paul Bearer. A man who even with all this bad news going for ‘Taker is steadfast by his side, ready to take the hits when needed.

Only at SummerSlam, it was Paul who provided the hit of his own.

After a lengthy brawl in the boiler room, Mankind and Undertaker went back to the ring. The stip was that the winner had to get the urn from Paul Bearer.

Seemed natural for ‘Taker to win, right?

Nope!

‘Taker kneeled trying to get the urn, but instead was jumped by Mankind. Bearer laughed in the corner as the Mandible Claw once again choked the dead out of the Dead Man. Mankind, like a member of gang, held Undertaker like prey, waiting for more slaps and berating from the heinously fat human being. If PB is a human being…

For now, it shattered the relationship of two men who were deemed un-separable. Undertaker got his power from the urn, but now that device lies within Bearer, and new alias Mankind. This feud would continue with a Buried Alive match, a Survivor Series match where Bearer was suspended above a ring, and then a No Holds Barred match on RAW to cap 1996.

And this all happened before Hell in the Cell!

Long story short: it was a memorable turn. Unexpected and shocking, it played to a dark tune that would later be a great diversifier in the to-come Attitude Era.

12. Goldberg Loses The Game- SummerSlam 2003

 

It was clobbering time for Goldberg!

Triple H, the evil leader of Evolution, has had a stranglehold on the WHC dating back to Armageddon, December of last year.

Hunter had overcome every obstacle before him. Scott Steiner. Booker T. Kevin Nash. Shawn Michaels (again). Rob Van Dam. Kane (whom had to unmask). The list was full of talented and boisterous superstars who all fell to The Game one time or another.

Except Goldberg hadn’t really encountered HHH yet.

Sure there was a confrontation, or a match announcement, but no big deal.

Until the Elimination Chamber.

What saved Triple H initially was getting kicked right in the fucking face by Shawn Michaels. Yes, Trips was talking trash in the pod, the timer ran out, and HBK waited to deliver that present right to his kisser. It was glorious!

Goldberg not too long thereafter came in and dominated everything that moved with the subtlety of a Acela train!

Now it was down to the Goldberg and Triple H show-down!

Goldberg seemed to have his way early. He kicked the plexiglass of Triple H’s domain like Jack Nicholson with an axe. Soon thereafter, Goldberg raked Triple H’s bloody forehead against the chain of the Chamber.

Triple H would have divine intervention by the name of Ric Flair.

Flair was able to get a sledgehammer in-between cracks of the Chamber. It was a well-devised ploy by the Nature Boy.

As Goldberg ran for the spear, he intercepted the sledge instead of Trips’ body, This allowed a weak Triple H to get the pin and the win.

In most video games, the penalty for game over is by starting all the way back either at the beginning of the game or that particular level. For the bald-headed monster, it was a beat-down.

A bloody roar of a beatdown!

Trips and Flair were joined by Randy Orton, whom ironically ate a Goldberg Spear earlier in the match.

Some slaps, some punches, and some ever-lasting sledgie shots. All in a days work for the dealers.

This pissed a lot of internet fans when this happened. Primarily because the original outcome should have been Goldberg beating Triple H to become champion.

In a singles match!

Triple H legitimately had a torn groin muscle at this point. He was wearing those long pants for a reason kids, and he still had to consummate a marriage a couple of months later! Goldberg was also injured, hampered by shoulder problems for the last couple of months.

From what this author deducts, SummerSlam could have been a disaster if both of the main headliners were injured and unable to go 100%. In its wake lied a perfect excuse to add four other guys and make this a Chamber match. Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, Kevin Nash, and Randy Orton were added in what was essentially a disguise. A disguise to the bigger picture ahead, which at Unforgiven, finally gave us the one-on-one with Goldberg/HHH that everyone wanted.

Knowing that, it’s almost safe to say that it was the best of all worlds. WWE wasn’t playing the predictable card. The villain came out really heinous here, and it made the paying audience willing to see his execution the next month. Not only did Goldberg’s slay (as opposed to Santa’s Slay) play an important role in that time period, but it would make Goldberg’s success all the much more sweeter.

Let’s also not forget that it also made the single-brand PPV’s the thing to watch due to that foresight.

Here’s an added video of Chris Jericho dying for his sins:

OUCH!

11. Liz Flashes Her Mega Bucks- SummerSlam 1988

Now for something a little more innocent. If a woman flashing her covered undercarriage is considered that…

At the inaugural SummerSlam, the main event consisted of The Mega Powers (Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage) versus The Mega Bucks (Ted DiBiase & Andre the Giant). The WWE Championship was not up for grabs, but pride certainly was.

Let’s also add in a special referee, Jesse Ventura, who had dollars slipped into his pocket by DiBiase to ensure the match was rigged! This was before the days of…

The powers that be were certainly aligning to make sure this match was going to be memorable!

But not in the way you expected.

Later on in the contest, Savage tried to drop the elbow on Andre. Sadly for the Macho Man, he took a size 20 boot to the kisser and flew out of the ring like a Frisbee! Hogan tried to use DiBiase’s own finisher, the Million Dollar Dream, against him. Before it took real effect, Andre attacked Hogan from behind. Andre’s headbutts to Hogan’s neck sent Hulk packing to the ringside area.

Both the Mega Powers are down! Jesse tried to start a count, but Elizabeth was standing on the ring apron. So were the managers of the Mega Bucks, Virgil and Bobby Heenan!

In an act of defiance, Liz ripped off the skirt of her dress to show red undies!

This stopped EVERYTHING in its tracks!

At least just long enough to where Hogan and Savage can do a power shake and recover!

Hogan comes back in and Andre goes for him. What Andre doesn’t see is Savage flying with an axe handle to the back! Andre lumbers out the ring while DiBiase gets the crap beat out of him. Hogan slammed DiBiase, Savage dropped the flying elbow, then Hogan capped it off with the leg drop. Hogan made the pin, but Savage forcibly threw down Ventura’s hand to the canvas for a ‘3’.

Before you go asking yourself why I included this on the list, consider the following:

In 1988, women were merely footnotes in wrestling. They were either wrestling in macabre matches, or they were valets. Rarely did they speak, and rarely did they do anything of significance. Sure Cyndi Lauper made things exciting a few years before with the Rock n’ Wrestling stuff, but no actual woman on the wrestler had the power to fully convince an audience of their endeavors.

Elizabeth was a ground-breaking woman in this regard. Either a heel or a face supporting Randy, her doting eyes at ringside could tell a story like almost no one else. She was classy, dignified, and also irresistible. Men wanted to be with her, and women wanted to be her.

Which leads to this.

This was the one time where she intentionally objectified herself in the open so she could help her men overcome the battle at hand. It made a regular match memorable certainly, but this was also unheard of!

This took place years before women wore intentionally skimpy clothing to elicit a pop from the crowd. Hell, I think some men forget Lita was a legit good wrestler. All they remember is whatever color strap of thong she was wearing that week.

Sure Kaitlyn might have popped a nipple on RAW a while back, or Sable had hands painted onto her breasts, but don’t forget how they all started. It was a result of desperation tactics from the person you’d least expect.

Freaking Hulk also managed to throw that piece of cloth into the audience! Spunk bunk indeedth!

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In the next installment of ‘Sizzlers’: A dose of Attitude, but not in the way you expect. It was the beginning of a run, and the start of the end for one superstar in particular. The most hilarious unprofessional overselling of all time is discussed. This and more in the next post!

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Quick trivia tidbit: What do the first installments of WrestleMania, Survivor Series, Royal Rumble, and SummerSlam all have in common? Other than Hulk Hogan being WWE Champion, it should be noted that the WWE Championship was not up for grabs in any of these events!!! At ‘Mania and SummerSlam, Hogan was in big-time tag team matches. Survivor Series is self-explanatory as he was the captain of his team. At the inaugural Rumble, Hogan had a contract signing with Andre the Giant for Saturday Night’s Main Event, but did not wrestle!

 

 

 

 

 

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