Top 15 SummerSlam Sizzlers Part One

It will be here before you know it! WWE’s got their big annual summertime tradition coming up in the form of SummerSlam.

Since its inception, SummerSlam has generally been regarded as the second biggest PPV of WWE’s fiscal year. Storylines begin, climax, and end all during this time. In the background, strange one-off occurrences can also make their presences known.  Some of these accentuating angles may not seem big at first, but time can definitely measure the staying power.

By this definition, a ‘sizzler’ could very well be a synonym for ‘attribute’. In this countdown, you will see major revelations, reveals, flashes, screwjobs, etcetera, that have made SummerSlam the hottest ticket for PPV subscribers since the inaugural event in 1988.

Without further ado, time to put the meat of the article on the grill and let it… sizzle.

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15. Team WWE Got It’s Seventh Man Fit to be Tied…-SummerSlam 2010

The irony is overwhelming in the year 2013.

 

Wow, three years ago already? For a lot of us fans, this seemed like only yesterday!

As a good chunk of this audience recalls, one of the most shocking debuts in WWE history definitely belongs to the renegade group known as The Nexus. Consisting of all the NXT rookies from the first season (Wade Barrett, Michael Tarver, Heath Slater, David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield (aka Ryback), and Darren Young), their signature plan of attack would be to surround the ring, then scavenger the prey like savages.

Now notice how I “forgot” to type in someone’s else in the above description.

That last man in the equation was Daniel Bryan.

Bryan, whose real name is Bryan Danielson, was an indie darling before coming to the WWE, and also by far the most experienced wrestler the group had. On the NXT show however, he was made to look like the never-say-die guy who lost all the time.

That had no affect on Bryan going into the Nexus debut.

All eight of these rookies on June the 7th made their menacing alliance in an orchestrated, albeit unpredictable attack on John Cena. From the ramp and the audience themselves, these band of misfits suddenly looked like they were a force to be reckoned with.

A force… that literally destroyed the RAW set!

In the fracas, Bryan got to ring announcer Justin Roberts. Bryan used Roberts’ own tie to choke the bastard purple.

This caused Bryan to be “fired” from the WWE.

In an unwritten rule, apparently no chokes can be used in a WWE match. When this rule was enacted, the author doesn’t know. There were aspirations from other forces to be at hand too, but their impression wouldn’t last too long here.

By the time SummerSlam rolled around, Team Nexus (which practically was the aforementioned group with Bryan) versus Team WWE was practically announced as the main event for the show. While Nexus had seven of their guys, WWE still needed one more.

While several men, including Money in the Bank holder The Miz, applied, only one man was selected.

Say hello to the Benedict Arnold of NXT himself, Daniel Bryan!

The Los Angeles crowd were in Staples (yeah, sorry for the pun) over the choice. It was ironic given the affiliations, and yet all so satisfying because we all thought Bryan was gone from the WWE never to be heard from again. Bryan would ultimately make Darren Young tap, but also get eliminated by Wade Barrett (thanks in no small part to Miz).

To think: John Cena picked Daniel Bryan to be on their team in 2010. Now in 2013, Cena picked Bryan to be his opponent for the WWE Championship. This could be HUGE come August the 18th, but for right now, let’s celebrate the shock that was the seventh man being Daniel Bryan.

In addition, I give you the infamous ‘butthole’ promo from Arn Anderson during this time period:

14. The Winds of Change- SummerSlam 2002

 

(Author’s Note: Please read that title in Wade Barrett’s voice. It’s all part of the “bigga pitcha”, one that is never understood nor explained…)

On one corner, is devastation defined. A big brutish dude that stands 6’4”, 295 pounds, has a great mouthpiece in Paul Heyman, and that doesn’t even begin to describe strength feats that read out of a Paul Bunyan playbook. NCAA Champion and soon-to-be UFC fighter, this guy can destroy anyone!

In the other corner, is the definition of a great champion. The pride of Miami, Florida at 275 pounds. A football star turned into hereditary WWE star. A third-generation wrestler, he defied the odds of nearly being let go into becoming arguably the most successful man inside and outside the ring.

You’re damn right Brock and Rock had a lot of hype!

Brock Lesnar earned his championship opportunity by beating Rob Van Dam in the finals of the King of the Ring tournament. A tournament whose stipulation was that the winner earns an Undisputed WWE Championship match at the SummerSlam PPV. Brock’s torrid rapture through the WWE claimed that milestone only a mere three months after he debuted.

The Rock on the other hand was well… The Rock. After filming for several months, Rocky came back in-ring at Vengeance. He defeated The Undertaker and Kurt Angle to win ‘Taker’s Undisputed title.

Naturally, the stage was set: The rookie vs. the veteran. Youth vs. experience. Strength vs. agility.

The match was a grueling testament to both men. In addition was a raucous crowd of Long Islanders, who had switched their alliances during the match.

Between the crowd flipping and the inevitable, Brock Lesnar won the Undisputed Championship, and a trip to the great unknown.

It was quite a trip to see Lesnar win the title so fast and so convincingly. However, he would have to carry that momentum into the months ahead. Brock did an admirable job, setting up a face turn and more WWE title runs ahead of him.

He also paved the way for such men as Edge, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, amongst others, to creep up through the woodwork. The SMACKDOWN roster was the workhorse brand of the WWE, and with Lesnar as its main associate, the future looked very bright indeed.

13. Undertaker URNED That Turn!- SummerSlam 1996

 

As mentioned above, new storyline twists can certainly begin at the summertime tradition. This shocking betrayal is no exception.

For the most part, Undertaker has had feuds that came and went with no real continuity. With the exception of perhaps Yokozuna and the Million Dollar Corporation, Undertaker’s six-year run in the WWE by this point seemed unfestered by a continuous pest.

That was until Mankind showed up.

Mankind debuted the night after WrestleMania XII. He won his match with Sparky Plugg Bob Holly, and then attacked ‘Taker later in the main event.

This led to a King of the Ring singles match. It also led to something truly unprecedented. Undertaker, a character whose only times of loss came with humongous shenanigans, lost clean as a sheet, VIA SUBMISSION, to Mankind.

In a mini-feud with Goldust, ‘Taker came out on the losing end of a match at International Incident. Not because he lost (technically won via DQ), but it was due to Mankind pulling ‘Taker underneath the ring. After ‘Taker gets his wits about him, he starts beating up Mankind back to the locker room, THEN A BOILER ROOM!

So alas we are given a Boiler Room Brawl for SummerSlam.

In the mix lies Paul Bearer. A man who even with all this bad news going for ‘Taker is steadfast by his side, ready to take the hits when needed.

Only at SummerSlam, it was Paul who provided the hit of his own.

After a lengthy brawl in the boiler room, Mankind and Undertaker went back to the ring. The stip was that the winner had to get the urn from Paul Bearer.

Seemed natural for ‘Taker to win, right?

Nope!

‘Taker kneeled trying to get the urn, but instead was jumped by Mankind. Bearer laughed in the corner as the Mandible Claw once again choked the dead out of the Dead Man. Mankind, like a member of gang, held Undertaker like prey, waiting for more slaps and berating from the heinously fat human being. If PB is a human being…

For now, it shattered the relationship of two men who were deemed un-separable. Undertaker got his power from the urn, but now that device lies within Bearer, and new alias Mankind. This feud would continue with a Buried Alive match, a Survivor Series match where Bearer was suspended above a ring, and then a No Holds Barred match on RAW to cap 1996.

And this all happened before Hell in the Cell!

Long story short: it was a memorable turn. Unexpected and shocking, it played to a dark tune that would later be a great diversifier in the to-come Attitude Era.

12. Goldberg Loses The Game- SummerSlam 2003

 

It was clobbering time for Goldberg!

Triple H, the evil leader of Evolution, has had a stranglehold on the WHC dating back to Armageddon, December of last year.

Hunter had overcome every obstacle before him. Scott Steiner. Booker T. Kevin Nash. Shawn Michaels (again). Rob Van Dam. Kane (whom had to unmask). The list was full of talented and boisterous superstars who all fell to The Game one time or another.

Except Goldberg hadn’t really encountered HHH yet.

Sure there was a confrontation, or a match announcement, but no big deal.

Until the Elimination Chamber.

What saved Triple H initially was getting kicked right in the fucking face by Shawn Michaels. Yes, Trips was talking trash in the pod, the timer ran out, and HBK waited to deliver that present right to his kisser. It was glorious!

Goldberg not too long thereafter came in and dominated everything that moved with the subtlety of a Acela train!

Now it was down to the Goldberg and Triple H show-down!

Goldberg seemed to have his way early. He kicked the plexiglass of Triple H’s domain like Jack Nicholson with an axe. Soon thereafter, Goldberg raked Triple H’s bloody forehead against the chain of the Chamber.

Triple H would have divine intervention by the name of Ric Flair.

Flair was able to get a sledgehammer in-between cracks of the Chamber. It was a well-devised ploy by the Nature Boy.

As Goldberg ran for the spear, he intercepted the sledge instead of Trips’ body, This allowed a weak Triple H to get the pin and the win.

In most video games, the penalty for game over is by starting all the way back either at the beginning of the game or that particular level. For the bald-headed monster, it was a beat-down.

A bloody roar of a beatdown!

Trips and Flair were joined by Randy Orton, whom ironically ate a Goldberg Spear earlier in the match.

Some slaps, some punches, and some ever-lasting sledgie shots. All in a days work for the dealers.

This pissed a lot of internet fans when this happened. Primarily because the original outcome should have been Goldberg beating Triple H to become champion.

In a singles match!

Triple H legitimately had a torn groin muscle at this point. He was wearing those long pants for a reason kids, and he still had to consummate a marriage a couple of months later! Goldberg was also injured, hampered by shoulder problems for the last couple of months.

From what this author deducts, SummerSlam could have been a disaster if both of the main headliners were injured and unable to go 100%. In its wake lied a perfect excuse to add four other guys and make this a Chamber match. Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, Kevin Nash, and Randy Orton were added in what was essentially a disguise. A disguise to the bigger picture ahead, which at Unforgiven, finally gave us the one-on-one with Goldberg/HHH that everyone wanted.

Knowing that, it’s almost safe to say that it was the best of all worlds. WWE wasn’t playing the predictable card. The villain came out really heinous here, and it made the paying audience willing to see his execution the next month. Not only did Goldberg’s slay (as opposed to Santa’s Slay) play an important role in that time period, but it would make Goldberg’s success all the much more sweeter.

Let’s also not forget that it also made the single-brand PPV’s the thing to watch due to that foresight.

Here’s an added video of Chris Jericho dying for his sins:

OUCH!

11. Liz Flashes Her Mega Bucks- SummerSlam 1988

Now for something a little more innocent. If a woman flashing her covered undercarriage is considered that…

At the inaugural SummerSlam, the main event consisted of The Mega Powers (Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage) versus The Mega Bucks (Ted DiBiase & Andre the Giant). The WWE Championship was not up for grabs, but pride certainly was.

Let’s also add in a special referee, Jesse Ventura, who had dollars slipped into his pocket by DiBiase to ensure the match was rigged! This was before the days of…

The powers that be were certainly aligning to make sure this match was going to be memorable!

But not in the way you expected.

Later on in the contest, Savage tried to drop the elbow on Andre. Sadly for the Macho Man, he took a size 20 boot to the kisser and flew out of the ring like a Frisbee! Hogan tried to use DiBiase’s own finisher, the Million Dollar Dream, against him. Before it took real effect, Andre attacked Hogan from behind. Andre’s headbutts to Hogan’s neck sent Hulk packing to the ringside area.

Both the Mega Powers are down! Jesse tried to start a count, but Elizabeth was standing on the ring apron. So were the managers of the Mega Bucks, Virgil and Bobby Heenan!

In an act of defiance, Liz ripped off the skirt of her dress to show red undies!

This stopped EVERYTHING in its tracks!

At least just long enough to where Hogan and Savage can do a power shake and recover!

Hogan comes back in and Andre goes for him. What Andre doesn’t see is Savage flying with an axe handle to the back! Andre lumbers out the ring while DiBiase gets the crap beat out of him. Hogan slammed DiBiase, Savage dropped the flying elbow, then Hogan capped it off with the leg drop. Hogan made the pin, but Savage forcibly threw down Ventura’s hand to the canvas for a ‘3’.

Before you go asking yourself why I included this on the list, consider the following:

In 1988, women were merely footnotes in wrestling. They were either wrestling in macabre matches, or they were valets. Rarely did they speak, and rarely did they do anything of significance. Sure Cyndi Lauper made things exciting a few years before with the Rock n’ Wrestling stuff, but no actual woman on the wrestler had the power to fully convince an audience of their endeavors.

Elizabeth was a ground-breaking woman in this regard. Either a heel or a face supporting Randy, her doting eyes at ringside could tell a story like almost no one else. She was classy, dignified, and also irresistible. Men wanted to be with her, and women wanted to be her.

Which leads to this.

This was the one time where she intentionally objectified herself in the open so she could help her men overcome the battle at hand. It made a regular match memorable certainly, but this was also unheard of!

This took place years before women wore intentionally skimpy clothing to elicit a pop from the crowd. Hell, I think some men forget Lita was a legit good wrestler. All they remember is whatever color strap of thong she was wearing that week.

Sure Kaitlyn might have popped a nipple on RAW a while back, or Sable had hands painted onto her breasts, but don’t forget how they all started. It was a result of desperation tactics from the person you’d least expect.

Freaking Hulk also managed to throw that piece of cloth into the audience! Spunk bunk indeedth!

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In the next installment of ‘Sizzlers’: A dose of Attitude, but not in the way you expect. It was the beginning of a run, and the start of the end for one superstar in particular. The most hilarious unprofessional overselling of all time is discussed. This and more in the next post!

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Quick trivia tidbit: What do the first installments of WrestleMania, Survivor Series, Royal Rumble, and SummerSlam all have in common? Other than Hulk Hogan being WWE Champion, it should be noted that the WWE Championship was not up for grabs in any of these events!!! At ‘Mania and SummerSlam, Hogan was in big-time tag team matches. Survivor Series is self-explanatory as he was the captain of his team. At the inaugural Rumble, Hogan had a contract signing with Andre the Giant for Saturday Night’s Main Event, but did not wrestle!

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WrestleMania Profile: ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage

When you think of WrestleMania, you would normally think of men like Hogan, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, and perhaps John Cena. One man whose history is often overlooked, especially in today’s climate, is Macho Man Randy Savage.

Savage, real name Randy Poffo, had a history enriched in wrestling. His father, Angelo, was also a wrestler and promoter. Freakishly enough though, Angelo’s claim to fame was his uncanny ability to do sit-ups for endurance time periods, thus necessitating an appearance on Ripley’s Believe it or Not.

Savage’s notoriety in the territories made him an instant heat magnet in the WWE. In 1985, Randy debuted against ‘Quick Draw’ Rick McGraw, and beat the jobber to a pulp. His presence was immediately felt in the WWE Universe.

By the time 1986 rolled around, Savage’s momentum was on an upward swing. In February of that year, Savage won the Intercontinental Championship from Tito Santana. This would lead to Savage’s first ‘Mania program with George Steele.

Steele, whose personality primarily revolved around acting like a heelish animal in earlier times, resorted to acting like a benevolent animal in 1980s WWE. Savage taunted him while flaunting his belt. Steele would lose his match, but not his fans.

Savage’s title reign would last over a year. It had a great array of matches ranging in opponents ranging from Steele, to Jake Roberts, to Ricky Steamboat.

Steamboat was injured at the hands of Savage on Saturday Night’s Main Event in November of 1986 as Savage dropped the axe-handle from the top turnbuckle onto a prone Steamboat on the guardrail. Ricky returned a couple of months later to challenge Savage for the IC gold at WrestleMania III. In front of the historically large crowd of 93,000+ people at the Pontiac Silverdome, Steamboat won the gold in a match where the game changed. This contest influenced a generation of new wrestlers, from the high-flying to the multiple near-falls.

The sunset of 1987 brought an about-face to Savage’s character. A feud with Honky Tonk Man led to Savage turning good, something that the fans had been dying to see by this point.

For 1988, a brand new challenge would surface itself. After a controversial decision forced Jack Tunney’s hand, the WWE Championship was vacated in favor of a 16-man tournament to crown the new champion.

After Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant, the two men originally embroiled in controversy, lost the big match to a double-disqualification, the field was left wide open. Savage, after winning three grueling matches earlier in the night, was left to face Ted DiBiase, whose night was slightly less enduring. With help from Hogan, Savage got the edge and become champion! All was right in the world as the Mega-Powers formed from the ground to rule the WWE with an iron fist.

Things would fall apart though. Savage accused Hogan of being jealous of both Elizabeth and his WWE Championship. This would lead to the Mega-Powers colliding and then exploding at WrestleMania V, where Hogan won the title again in a hard-fought battle.

Of all the ‘Manias Savage was in, only VI was his real clunker. A forgettable tag match in the undercard of this mammoth event was not what Savage needed, but the next year would provide perhaps Savage’s greatest wrestling moment period.

Savage’s feud with the Ultimate Warrior stemmed from Warrior not allowing Randy to get a title shot. Randy ultimate screwed Warrior out of the WWE Championship by slamming him in the head with his scepter, thus allowing Iraqi sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter to win the gold. Two months of bizarre happenings would ensue, leading to the announcement of the loser retiring following the bout. The two went hard and heavy during the course of the bout. Savage even went so far as to provide FIVE flying elbows to Warrior! None of those put him down! Warrior charged back with his shoulder blocks. The third one was so forceful that Savage needed to be dragged back inside the ring to be counted down! (Read the match histories below to view what happened post-match.)

Going into WrestleMania VIII, Savage had returned to the WWE to fight off challenges from Jake Roberts. After the Rumble, it was revealed that Ric Flair alleged he had relations with Liz. Therefore Flair’s gold was up for grabs. Savage would defer Flair’s tricks, and came up golden for the second time in his WWE career.

In a strange turn of events, Savage went to commentating for WrestleMania IX. Chalk it up to injury, subpar card placement, whatever you will. At least he looked only like Macho can as he was dressed in his ‘traditional’ outfit amongst a sea of togas!

Lastly, WrestleMania X saw him get out of the booth, and battle his former friend Crush. In the Falls Count Anywhere stip of 1994, the referee has a minute to count-out either of the combatants. Crush was unsuccessful in taming Savage, but Randy’s masterful plan worked. Crush was hanging around so to speak as Randy ran back into the ring to win the match. A unique albeit average match, it ended Savage’s WrestleMania career on a whimper.

In the long run though, Savage’s WrestleMania trials and tribulations would be summarized as legendary. Many great matches and opponents would help Randy elevate his game. A two-time WWE Championship winner on the grandest stage, and even retained the IC belt once. Savage is often overlooked for helping contribute to WrestleMania’s legacy, and that is a shame.

Savage would work for WCW and TNA while retiring quitely later in the 2000’s. He died in the year 2011 after suffering a heart attack while being behind the wheel. His wife may no have been able to save him, but she drove Savage’s car to safety without hitting other vehicles.

Hopefully by reading this, you’ll see that Savage belongs to the long list of greats at this historic event. He has had more than his fair share of great moments, and some of matches are right up there with the best of the rest. Savage will always be a part of wrestling folklore, and this proves it.

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CONTESTS

WrestleMania II: Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth) def. George 'the Animal' Steele via pinfall to retain the Intercontinental Championship as he used the ropes for leverage. Steele went chasing the referee post-match. (7:08) *1/4

WrestleMania III: Ricky 'the Dragon' Steamboat def. Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth) via an inside cradle pin. George Steele was in Dragon’s corner, and would prove substantial as he stopped Savage from beating in Steamboat’s larynx with a ringbell. Steele and Steamboat celebrated post-match. (14:35) ****1/2

WrestleMania IV: Randy Savage won the 16-Man WWE Championship Tournament to become the new WWE Champion. He defeated Butch Reed (4:09), Greg Valentine (6:07), One Man Gang (4:37 via DQ), and Ted DiBiase (9:17) to win it all. Overall: ****, mainly because of the execution of the title win.

WrestleMania V: Hulk Hogan def. Randy Savage via pinfall to become the new WWE Champion. Elizabeth, whom the feud revolved upon, was sent backstage although she stayed in a neutral position. (17:54) ****

WrestleMania VI: Dusty Rhodes & Sapphire def. Macho King Randy Savage & Sensational Sherri when Sapphire rolled up Sherri off a distraction by Elizabeth. (7:31) *

WrestleMania VII: Ultimate Warrior def. Randy Savage in a 'Retirement' Match after pinning Savage on the last of three shoulder blocks. After the match, Sherri became enraged with Savage for losing. This prompted Elizabeth to rush into the ring and stand by her man, although things looked estranged. Savage accused Elizabeth of jumping him, but she ultimately persuaded him it wasn't her. After a brief stare-down, Savage embraced Elizabeth to start his 'retirement' right. Savage took a bow while holding the ropes for Elizabeth. (20:46) *****, for everything from the match to the emotionally draining post-match angle.

WrestleMania VIII: Randy Savage def. Ric Flair (w/Mr. Perfect) via reversal of figure-four to inside cradle pin to become the NEW WWE Champion. Flair kissed Liz, only for Savage to pounce on him while still feeling the effects from earlier. (18:01) ****

WrestleMania IX: Savage arrived in grand style to assume his seat at ringside to commentate on the show.

WrestleMania X: Randy Savage def. Crush in a 'Falls Count Anywhere' match after Crush was hanging upside down backstage, and couldn't answer the referee's count back to the ring. This would be Savage's last in-ring performance in the WWE.  (10:00) **1/2

Overall Record: 7-4* (*: All four of IV’s tournament matches counted separately.)

Overall Combined Length In-Ring: 1:52:05 (1 hour, 52 minutes, 5 seconds).

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For more WrestleMania Profiles, please click on the following:

Shawn Michaels 

Bret Hart

Steve Austin

The Rock

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WrestleMania Profile: Shawn Michaels

Vince McMahon created the concept.

Howard Finkel created the name.

Hulk Hogan, with others (like Randy Savage & Andre the Giant), created the event’s big-time feel/exposure that left fans clamoring for more.

Shawn Michaels created the work ethic everyone aspires to achieve.

His record is nowhere near ‘Perfect’, and he has lost more title matches at this event than perhaps anyone else in history.

When it comes to being “Mr. Wrestlemania” however, Shawn Michaels is a mythic figure. His performances on the big show are indelible, and it is no question that every man who has competed against Shawn has left the show better off than they were.

In his early years, Shawn was one half of a popular team entitled ‘The Rockers’. With Marty Jannetty, their opponent list was unique. Whether it was big men, foreign men, or hosses, the duo got the best possible match.

Shawn’s course would take a huge left turn as he threw soon-to-be ex-partner Jannetty through a ‘Barbershop’ window in early 1992. This would mark the start of Michaels’ singles run.

It would take a few years for Shawn to get that show-stealing performance. When he did though, the road to immortality began.

At Wrestlemania X in 1994, he and Razor Ramon competed in the first Ladder Match in Wrestlemania history. The story was quite innovative, where Shawn was legitimately suspended after a failed test, but never returned the belt! Ramon won the title in a battle royal, but it was Shawn who shocked the world with having his belt on a return promo segment. What resulted was a successful blend of wrestling and ladder bumps. Shawn even made that death-defying splash from the top of the ladder, and this happened in the days where ladders had no place in wrestling!

After failing to procure the championship at XI, Shawn went into XII with gold on his mind. However, he had to prove to the ‘Hitman’ he was the ‘Iron Man’. 60 grueling minutes and overtime. Shawn proved to Bret Hart and the world he was here. With 10+ years of going through everything there is in the wrestling business, Shawn was finally on top!

The ride wouldn’t last deep into 1997.

Missing 13 due to an injury (that could be real or fake), Shawn was truly at his physical worst for XIV for 1998. A wrecked back, mainly due to a bad casket bump at the Royal Rumble, and badly addicted to painkillers, Shawn managed to create a classic with Steve Austin. It would be five years before Shawn wrestled on the big stage again.

Michaels grimaced in pain with every bump he took and every punch he threw.

Shawn’s in-ring Wrestlemania resurrection in 2003 occurred squaring off against Chris Jericho. Jericho’s career is a storied one itself, but the Lionheart noted his favorite match is the one with Michaels from Wrestlemania XIX.

This would start a pattern.

From 2003-2010, Shawn would methodically add to his legend, facing off against different men with different abilities. Big men like Undertaker would be on his plate, but also dear friends like Ric Flair, which Shawn had the unfortunate privilege of superkicking into retirement.

Oh, you thought you were going to see the HBK version? Sorry pal!

Whether it was a title match or not, Shawn gave every match his absolute all.

That’s one of the reasons why his retirement after Wrestlemania 26 was so emotional.

The buildup to the SECOND WM match with Undertaker, if you count the antics leading up to the 25 bout, lasted about three years. From the Rumble at San Antonio in 2007 to the University of Phoenix for Wrestlemania 26, Shawn was nagging at Undertaker, trying to derail the all-mighty streak, with Shawn noting in addition his career was nothing unless he ended it.

Shawn may have been done wrestling, but his Wrestlemania involvement would be far from over.

For Wrestlemania 27 in 2011, Shawn was the headline inductee into the Hall of Fame. Graced into the Hall by lifelong friend Triple H, Michaels’ main statement was that he had no regrets with his career. Judging by just this little body of work, there’s no wonder why he thinks the way he does.

Shawn was then called upon to do the one thing he wished he hadn’t: referee Triple H/Undertaker inside Hell in the Cell. Shawn told Hunter he knew who would in, and in the end, it was Undertaker. There were no alliances at all, as Shawn took as much punishment as he dished out. Shawn even kicked Undertaker into a Pedigree, but the dead man STILL KICKED OUT! Shawn would eventually count Triple H, but not before reffing 30 minutes of one of the most dramatic WrestleMania matches in history!

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CONTESTS:

Wrestlemania V: The Twin Towers (The Big Bossman & Akeem) defeated The Rockers (Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty). (8:02) ***

Wrestlemania VI: The Orient Express defeated The Rockers by COUNT OUT. (7:38) **1/2

Wrestlemania VII: The Rockers defeated Barbarian & Haku w/Bobby Heenan. (10:41) **3/4

Wrestlemania VIII: Shawn Michaels w/ Sensational Sherri defeated "El Matador" Tito Santana. Originally should have been vs. Marty Jannetty, but the latter had to leave due to personal problems. Shawn would induct Tito into the Hall of Fame in 2004. (10:38) **

Wrestlemania IX: Tatanka defeated Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels by COUNT OUT. Because championships can’t change hands on a count-out, Shawn kept the belt. (18:13) **

Wrestlemania X: Razor Ramon (aka Scott Hall) defeated Shawn Michaels to retain the Intercontinental Championship in the first ever Ladder Match in Wrestlemania history. (18:47) ****1/4

Wrestlemania XI: Diesel (aka Kevin Nash) defeated Shawn Michaels to retain the WWE Championship. Diesel was accompanied to ringside by Pamela Anderson while Shawn had Jenny McCarthy. (20:35) ***1/2

Wrestlemania XII: Shawn Michaels defeated Bret Hart in a 60-minute Iron man match (1-0) to win the WWE Championship. This occurred in overtime. (1:01:56) ****1/2

Wrestlemania 13: Shawn Michaels joined commentary for the Undertaker vs. Sid main event. He ‘lost his smile’ the month before, and thus he vacated the belt prior to ‘Mania. Also, the original match should have been a rematch of Wrestlemania XII with an Iron Man rematch.

Wrestlemania XIV: Steve Austin defeated Shawn Michaels to win the WWE Championship. Shawn would take a long sabbatical from in-ring competition due to injuries, although he would show up on WWE programming every now and then. (20:02) ***3/4

Wrestlemania XV: Shawn Michaels, as WWE Commissioner, told Vince McMahon he was not eligible to referee the main event. Shawn’s appearance garnered a huge pop.

Wrestlemania XIX: Shawn Michaels defeated Chris Jericho. Michaels’ first Wrestlemania match in five years. (22:33) ****1/2

WrestleMania XX: Chris Benoit defeated Triple H & Shawn Michaels to capture the World Heavyweight Championship. Shawn was not involved in the fall.  (24:50) ****1/2

Wrestlemania 21: Kurt Angle defeated Shawn Michaels via submission. Noted by many to be the best Wrestlemania match of both men’s careers. (27:56) *****

Wrestlemania 22: Shawn Michaels defeated Vince McMahon w/Shane McMahon in a No Holds Barred Match. (18:28) ***1/4

Wrestlemania 23: John Cena defeated Shawn Michaels by Submission to retain the WWE Championship. (28:22) ***3/4

Wrestlemania XXIV: Shawn Michaels defeated Ric Flair. Per pre-match stipulation (actually more like a long-running angle), Ric was forced to retire from WWE. (20:23) **** (3 for the match, 5 for the story, average of 4)

The 25th Anniversary of Wrestlemania (aka Wrestlemania 25): The Undertaker defeated Shawn Michaels. (30:56) ****3/4

Wrestlemania XXVI: The Undertaker defeated Shawn Michaels in a No Disqualification, No Count-Out Match. Per pre-match stipulation, Shawn was forced to retire from the WWE. (24:04) ****1/2

WrestleMania XXVII: Shawn Michaels was inducted into the Hall of Fame as the headlining inductee.

WrestleMania XXVIII: Shawn Michaels was the special guest referee in the “End of an Era Hell in the Cell” Match between Triple H and The Undertaker. After many close-calls and punishment, Shawn counted Triple H’s shoulders down 1-2-3. ‘Taker, HBK, and Triple H stood atop of the stage proud of their accomplishment.

Overall Record: 6-11

Overall Combined Length In-Ring: 6:25:04 (6 hours, 25 minutes, 4 seconds. I haven’t done math on anyone else, but THIS HAS TO BE A RECORD!)

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YES YES YES! The 1992 Royal Rumble Match

In celebration of the 25th Anniversary of the Rumble, and the 20th Anniversary of this particular match, let’s go back in time and review the singular greatest Rumble match in history!

As 1992 dawned, the WWE Championship was embroiled in controversy.

Back at the Survivor Series in November, the Undertaker defeated Hulk Hogan to win the belt after interference from Ric Flair.

Fast-forward nearly a week and the one-off event known as ‘This Tuesday in Texas’. Undertaker defended the title against Hulkster, and lost it in means just as controversial as the first go-round.

To paraphrase Owen Hart through the spirit of Jack Tunney, “(Furthermore) ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, AND IT’S TIME FOR A CHANGE!”

The ‘Esteemed’ President of the World Wrestling Federation did something that has only occurred once in WWE history, and only under his watch.

Instead of making a tournament, or a regular match to see who the next champ would be, he instead put it on the line as the stipulation for the Royal Rumble match.

Looking at the field, it’s certainly star-studded. Only Vince McMahon though knew how to make this more epic, via this video package:

THE UNDERRRRRTAKERRRRRR!

Before the match gets praised to no end, let’s not forget that by this point in time, there was no gentile format struck down.

Only the 1991 Rumble winner, that being Hogan, would go on to face the champion. 1990 was won by the champion (Hogan), 1989 was won by a one-off appearance (Big John Studd), and 1988 was won by a mid-carder was popularity was skyrocketed by a ‘patriot’ gimmick (‘Hacksaw’ Jim Duggan).

With this mind, let’s go to the formerly-known-as Knickerbocker Arena in Albany, New York as the Rumble is about to get underway!

As tradition, Howard Finkel goes into ‘epic God mode’ and announces the rules for the Rumble match. As per the norm, two men start the match, new entrants in every two minutes, only way to go is over the top both feet touching the floor, yada yada.

Bobby Heenan, who has vested interest in Ric Flair, is as nervous as a daddy waiting for a newborn. If you’re reading this while watching the match for the first time, be aware than Heenan’s commentary is amongst the funniest soundtracks ever recorded in the history of professional wrestling.

Before Howard Finkel can announce #’s 1 & 2, he first introduces Jack Tunney to a chorus of boos. Given how Johnny Ace snapped last Monday on RAW, I’m surprised Tunney didn’t lash out with a sequence of ‘FURTHERMORES’. As you can tell, this is the man’s premiere catchphrase. “May the best man win,” is the last retort from the departing Tunney, as impatience from ‘The Weasel’ is looming large.

---

Now that the old fart is out of the ring, time to see who starts on the pole, ahem, who drew #1!

IT’S BRITISH BULLDOG! A favorite in this match because Davey Boy Smith won the battle royal in London a couple of months prior. Only that match had 20 guys, this one has 30!

Who’s next at #2?

MILLION DOLLAR MAN! Signified by his maniacal laugh, Ted DiBiase (Sr. that is) is accompanied down by Slutsenational Sherri. Seriously, look at that outfit!

As Ted enters the ring, he wastes no time going after Davey Boy, and this son of a bitch is underway!

In the first two minutes, there is more action than a 20 minute Hulk Hogan match. After a series of suplexes, DiBiase gets a little too cocky, and in a mis-step, he is thrown over the top by the BDS!

With a football-like timer on the lower-left-hand corner, Bulldog is waiting for #3 to come out. Let’s not forget that no one starting in the top five has ever won at this point in Rumble history! So who is it?

#3 IS RIC FLAIR! AND BOBBY HEENAN IS PISSED! Accompanied by Mr. Perfect, Flair goes in and gets dominated by the man across the pond.

#4 arrives in quick order, and accompanied by ‘Mouth of the South’ Jimmy Hart, it’s Nasty Boy Saggs! The two heels gang up on hero Davey Boy. After getting himself out of a jam, Saggs didn’t learn from DiBiase’s mistake of being cocky, and was dropkicked out of the match! Two guys out already, and its back to Flair/Smith. At this point, Heenan yells out that iconic line, “IT’S NOT FAIR TO FLAIR,” multiple times.

#5 comes out in the form of Haku. By a lot of accounts from past wrestlers, maybe the world’s toughest son of a bitch living! The big guy immediately goes after Davey, and soon enough, there’s yet another round of Double-Team. And no, I didn’t mean the Dennis Rodman movie. Haku turns on Flair in short order, which allows Ric to slide under the bottom rope momentarily. Smith gets a wicked piledriver for his efforts from Haku while Flair works on the goliath! “WHERE’S PERFECT,”  quips Heenan. “YOU KNOW THEY’RE NOT ALLOWED AT RINGSIDE?” “HE’S NOT A MANAGER, HE’S AN EXECUTIVE CONSULTANT!” “SAME THING, HE’S A PEST!” God damn do I love Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon as a commentating team! Haku is dumped like a bad bag of garbage as #6 is announced.

#6 turns out to be newly-turned-heel Shawn Michaels! Greeted to boos, you might recall Michaels threw ex-partner Marty Jannetty through the ‘Barbershop’ window. Immediately, Michaels leaves an impression. Beating up Flair, he even nails a superkick mid-ring! Showing signs of what’s to come, Michaels nearly gets eliminated by Bulldog, but an arm gets caught in the ropes! Out from being tangled, Bulldog receives an order of Crescent Kick (that’s what it was called at the time). Michaels botches a Flair maneuver, and his balls get a ride on the ropes for the trouble!

#7 comes out to ‘El Matador’ Tito Santana! Hard to believe he's only the second good guy to enter thus far! Also hard to believe what a racist gimmick this was! Flair and Bulldog are resting while the future Wrestlemania VIII combatants Michaels and Santana go toe-to-toe. This portion of the match has all four men doing something, so calling it will be difficult. Heenan claims he’d low-blow his grandmother to win the title! Bah gawd he would!

#8 turns out to be hoss Barbarian! That lug would whoop some ass, but all in the middle of some great action. The heel tandem of Barbarian and Flair try to get Bulldog over the top. This has to be like what, the fifth time DBS has been double-teamed thus far?  Multiple elimination attempts occur by the time #9 comes on down.

#9 is the opposite of a New York Winter. As a matter of act, it’s Texas Tornado Kerry Von Erich! As if it was mid-80s NWA, Flair is the target for Von Erich! Shawn gets sling-shot into the ropes, and clotheslined back down by Davey. Heenan thinks of a brilliant idea: the next person to come down should carry a crescent wrench and whack everyone with it!

#10 is announced, and the most natural gimmick to be WWE Champion has to be Repo Man Barry Darsow! A creeper, Repo takes his dear sweet time entering the ring, which pisses Monsoon off to no end. At this point, there are seven, count ‘em, SEVEN MEN IN THE RING! By the time all the action is covered, there’s another man about to hit the ring!

#11 is another NWA representative from back then, and it’s Greg ‘the Hammer’ Valentine! The smoke-house Indian-looking scruff comes in and cleans up shop! Repo gets his nards repossessed by a Flair low-blow, while Monsoon keeps nagging to Heenan about how no one who drew #’s 1-5 ever won the event.

#12 comes out in short-order, and it’s Nikolai Volkoff. Surprisingly booed, but still slapping hands, the barrel-chested Lithuanian intends on making a mark. The ring must have dozens of marks in it, in addition to the thousands of marks in attendance. Somewhere in the action, Hammer proceeds to slap a Figure-Four on Flair! Not an imitation because Hammer used that move as a finisher too! Repo eliminates Volkoff, and Volkoff is thus far the first good guy eliminated, and the first guy eliminated in quite a while.

#13 promises to bring law and order to the Rumble via Cobb County’s own Big Boss Man! The fat guy (as opposed to the slimmer 1999 variant of Ray Traylor, RIP) runs on down to enter the fracas. Valentine is quietly eliminated, as now only five men have been eliminated. Still eight men in the ring surprisingly! Repo has his title shot taken away after being eliminated, just shortly after saving Shawn’s ass from being gone himself. Noticing Flair’s in trouble, Heenan threatens to go down to ringside, but Monsoon holds him back. As Monsoon was noticing how long Flair and Bulldog were in the match, BULLDOG IS GONE! Some 25 or so minutes for the Englishman, a good effort gone to naut. Flair goes on a small roll as directly after he eliminates Bulldog, he body-drops Von Erich over the top! After a while of everyone being in the ring, the fray is getting smaller and smaller.

#14 delivers a man whose “Herculean” physique is getting softer. Yes, it is Hercules Hernandez! After beating on Flair, Hercules does his own thing while Barbarian gets his shots in on Naitch. Barbarian tries to eliminate Flair, but was ousted by Hercules instead, who in turn gets eliminated by Boss Man, whose force is so great he almost eliminates himself! WHEW! Boss Man is wagging his finger at Flair as the two brawl their way through some time. On a reversal, Boss Man hurls his body to try to eliminate Flair, but Flair does a side-step, and Boss Man is eliminated! Only Flair in the ring, and belly-flops in celebration/breather. Now we have a count! 3-2-1...

#15 IS ROWDY, RODDY, PIPER! Heenan sounds like as if his kid is being taken away by Protective Services. Piper, who is the newly-crowned Intercontinental Champion via defeating The Mountie, immediately goes to Flair and beats the crap out of him. The action even spreads to the barricade outside, even if the outside refs are reprimanding both to get back into the squared circle! Piper somehow no-sells a punch on the apron! Flair botches an atomic drop, and gets the poke to the eye for punishment. What is this, a Three Stooges short? Speaking of silly moves, what about the Airplane Spin, followed up by a Sleeper? Only up to this era were these two moves ever considered dangerous. At least Piper could pull them off. As Flair goes to la-la land, the next combatant is counted down.

#16 has one of the most endearing Rumble moments ever. For the first and only time in history, both Monsoon and Heenan simultaneously announce, “JAKE, THE SNAKE, ROBERTS.” Playing the pathological asshole role, Roberts sits in the corner while Piper puts Flair to sleep. Flair rests while Snake pounds Piper back in the corner. Shortly after Roddy saves Flair from a DDT, Flair puts Snake in a Figure-Four! All three men take turns beating each other up, while Heenan makes a double-standard about what Piper’s usual attire is. “IT’S NOT A SKIRT, IT’S A KILT! IT’S NOT A KILT, IT’S A SKIRT!” Classic heel mannerisms.

#17 gets one of the biggest pops thus far. The inaugural Rumble winner, Hacksaw Jim Duggan! Monsoon notes how he respects Flair for showing intestinal fortitude, while Heenan quips he and Flair were jobbed for going out #3! Insider term much in kayfabe 1992? Because Duggan and Piper have the same color trunks, it’s almost hard to tell the difference between the two in the ring. Here we go for the next guy out!

#18 is a guy praying for people to get their W-2’s, its Irwin R. Schyster! The Rumble is always known as a taxing event, so IRS is going for the guy who is going to pay the most first. FLAIR! It’s irony I tells ya! Snake and Flair have a meeting of the minds courtesy of Duggan, and Flair belly-flops again!

#19 is coming, and does he have to choke a bitch? It’s Supa-supa-Superfly Jimmy Snuka! While he was prolific a decade ago, Jimmy’s been reduced to barely higher than jobber status by this point. Heenan is so worn out that he doesn’t know what he’s saying anymore, poor guy. I’m surprised Flair didn’t do a blade-job after the headbutt by Snuka. You know the saying about Samoans and their hard-to-crack heads! Hey look at the time...

#20 is zombie Undertaker, accompanied by pedo Paul Bearer. Immediately, everything slows the hell down as the freshest, biggest, baddest guy hits the ring. Hard to think this was ‘Taker’s last PPV as a heel until 1998, and even here, he gets majority pop! The first to feel ‘Taker’s wrath is Snuka, who is known for being the first guy the dead man defeated at Wrestlemania. One hand, over the top, bye bye Superfly. Undertaker then proceeds to choke Flair, low-blow Duggan, and double-team Duggan with IRS. So far, the dead guy looks to be pretty good! Next guy coming up is...

#21 IS A RAVING LUNATIC MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE! Running down the ramp akin to Warrior, Savage is seeking revenge for what Jake Roberts did to him and his wife Elizabeth. Looking for Roberts, he instead got caught by ‘Taker. Seeing Savage is down, Roberts slithers his way back in to do a number on Mach. After missing a clothesline, Randy goes Savage on Snake. Not only does Savage throw Roberts over the top, but he jumps over the top as well! Somehow this doesn’t count as an elimination! Although Undertaker briefly separates Savage from Roberts, it’s not long before the Madness strikes again, and Roberts is jumped in the aisleway! Undertaker throws Savage back in, and applies a creepy looking crossface on the bottom rope. Amidst all this clusteraction...

#22 is Berzerker, accompanied by a Mr. Fuji who can’t walk worth a damn, which is sad and sympathetic. Randy Savage is almost suplexed over the top rope, but blocks it, and brings back Flair into the ring the hard way. Piper and ‘Taker simul-choke Flair, until ‘Taker puts that meaty paw on Piper!

#23 is Leaping...Virgil? Seriously, the guy went from the curtain to the ramp in record time, making Savage look like a grandpa. Heenan then accused Virgil of going through everyone’s bags in the back. “WILL YOU STOP?” Everyone currently in the ring is attacking each other as #24 is coming down.

#24 by the way is Colonel Mustafa being led down by General Adnan. Not related to Simba, instead Mustafa is the Iron Shiek, rebadged with an Iraqi gimmick. Couple of funny things here while the action is slowed a tad. #1 that Gorilla Monsoon couldn’t believe Flair is still standing, even though Flair is the king of 60 minute matches. #2, they take a wide pan of the arena, and Heenan notes no one is at the concession stand, while people are getting up to get said concessions! Flair is on his way to certain elimination when the buzzer strikes.

#25 is ‘The Model’ Rick Martel, the at-the-time holder of longest run in a Royal Rumble at some 53 minutes. Seems like this will be a sprint for him! General Adnan is nonchalantly eliminated as Undertaker goes back to choke Savage. Three people try to lift Flair over the top, but Nature Boy stays in there with pride and purpose. Monsoon is making quick notes about how Piper could be very well a dual-champion as we have a countdown...

#26 IS HULK HOGAN! The pops you hear are canned in as apparently the live audience was more mixed than a fudge swirl in vanilla ice cream. Visually, there are quite a few Knickerbockers who are giving the ‘Immortal’ one the thumbs down. Hogan is whooping ass then gets his ass whooped in short order. Hulk after that eliminates Undertaker, which draws ire from the dead man up the ramp. The viking tries to derail Hogan’s momentum, but a short removal of the bandanna leads to Berzerker’s elimination via body-drop! Virgil and Hacksaw are simultaneously eliminated.

#27 is the jobber Alligator Man Skinner! Fresh off his classic with Bret Hart the month before at TiT (that’s Tuesday in Texas), the guy goes towards Piper. IRS saves Flair from Hogan, all the while IRS gets choke-swinged by the torn t-shirt of Hogan. Piper tried to do the Mike Tyson (aka biting the ear) on Flair, but couldn’t sustain it for very long.

#28 is Sgt. Slaughter, who if you may recall at last year’s Rumble, won the WWE Championship from Ultimate Warrior. This year, as a face, he gets cheered to the ring. The Alligator Man couldn’t “skin the cat”, and thus was eliminated. Monsoon officially declares Flair as the longest-entrant ever at 55+ minutes (to this point) while Flair is staving off another attempt at elimination. While action is going on all over the place, the buzzer is ringing again!

#29 is SID JUSTICE, who gets the biggest pop of anyone in this Rumble. He almost eliminates IRS, but instead it nearly gets turned into an audit. Meanwhile, Flair is punching Hogan who is held by IRS. which astonishes Gorilla. Sid reverses a hammerlock by Flair as #30 is finally going to make his appearance!

#30 is indeed Warlord (w/ Harvey Whippleman), and that’s the last call! A neat overhead shot shows Flair on the top rope, but Hogan press-slams him over. Typical Flair spot. Out of the ring, but both under the bottom rope, Hogan successfully suplexes Flair on the mat! Sgt. Slaughter takes a wild shot into the steel post, and sayonara to the Sarge! After sustaining a big boot, Flair gets up and Monsoon officially states he’s been in there for an hour! While Hogan gets chopped into “God mode”, IRS is quietly eliminated by Piper. Hogan and Sid team up to take out Warlord. Sid, on a hot streak, eliminates both Roddy Piper and Rick Martel!

That means we’re down to the final four. Hogan. Sid. Flair. Savage. All four with impressive credentials, and all four with a license to maim. Savage is quickly eliminated by Sid. Hogan and Flair trade chops back to the ropes, where Flair is hanging on by a thread. Hogan loses the leverage game as Sid lifts him over!

As Hogan is on the outside, he yanks Sid by the hands, and with an assist from Flair, Sid goes over!

FLAIR WINS!

FLAIR WINS!

FLAIR WINS!

Bobby Heenan just passed an orgasm, and Gorilla Monsoon is in shock.

Flair gets out of Hogan’s jealous dodge, while Sid comes up and wants to brawl!

Flair and Perfect are all smiles as the Undisputed WWE Champion is about to be given the belt in a post-match interview.

“I’m going to tell you all with a tear in my eye- this is the greatest moment in my life. This championship makes you number one!”

That quote not only put WWE over, but buried WCW to no end. After a hellacious 1991 WCW run, Flair went to the WWE in search of a new beginning. After the ‘Real World’s Champion’ gimmick that played out with blurred out belts, Flair was given this chance in the 1992 Royal Rumble, and he added a second definition to the term ‘60 Minute Man’.

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IN CONCLUSION: The greatest Rumble match ever. Bar none.

Ric Flair even said himself in his first DVD collection that this was the greatest talent pool in WWE history. An eclectic mixture of styles, gimmicks, and philosophies, there is not a Rumble match that could exceed this. 2004 was close, VERY close, but no cigar.

Looking at some of the combatants, there were some stand-out performances. Flair notwithstanding, some of the best performers in the best were Davey Boy Smith, Shawn Michaels, Jake Roberts, Randy Savage, and for what it is worth, IRS. As a matter of fact, almost everyone in this match came out looking better than they did before. Except Hogan that is.

For a one-off title match, this was extraordinary. Hardly a filler spot to be had, and every man in there looked important. This is the sort of booking that WWE needs to view again.  A ***** classic is there ever was one. 

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