(Just a fair bit of warning: This post has more disturbing content than usual, so if you’re someone squeamish, turn away. If not, then enjoy!)
In celebration of 10,000 views on the blog and the 25th Anniversary (ahem, edition) of the Royal Rumble, today there will be something very special covered. A match that is not only an epic war, but also a match selected as a top match in a prior entry.
In case you didn’t look at the above graphic, it’s the Street Fight for the WWE Championship from the 2000 Rumble.
For a man whose body was screaming for him to retire (or his wife Collette for that matter), Mick Foley whipped himself into top shape as possible for this epic encounter. Losing some 20 pounds while being kept off the road (i.e: house shows), Mick further built the myth and legend of his hardcore alter-ego, Cactus Jack.
In terms of storyline, it all began on the 1.10.00 edition of RAW. Foley as Mankind was squaring off against Triple H, but only the two were in the middle of a eight man tag war (Triple H had D-X buddies New Age Outlaws and X-Pac, while Sock had Rock and the APA).
Once the two were the legal men however, the floor was all theirs. Triple H, and I don’t say this lightly, beat the living shit out of Mankind. Coupling ring-bell shots with a Pedigree through the announcer table, Mankind was suddenly a bloody mess. A mess that stretched from his head, down through his mask, and onto his shirt! A disgustingly horrific sight for sure.
Back in the ring, Triple H notched a second Pedigree for a clean win. After the loss, it seemed as if Foley was reborn.
Knocking down The Game, the deranged alter-ego of Foley did the pistol-like right hands, with the knee to the face following. Apparently that running knee had so much force it legitimately bruised Foley’s sternum!
Making his point known, Foley tops off his rage with chucking the steel steps into Helmsley’s grizzled face. Although Triple H was declared the winner, it was the perfect definition of a pyrrhic victory. BANG BANG!
The following Thursday on SMACKDOWN, Mankind stated that after the beating he took at the hands of Helmsley, he wouldn’t be able to face the champ in a Street Fight. There would be a substitute named however, and that name was...
CACTUS JACK!
Removing the bloody button-up dress shirt to reveal the newly-printed Cactus shirt below, Foley went down to the ring while Triple H looked on in horror as this mythic figure was coming down.
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Pardon me for the sidetrack, but there is one elephant in the room that deserves to be mentioned.
A few years prior, Cactus Jack was introduced to the WWE in a Falls Count Anywhere environment. Guess who was his opponent? Triple H!
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Back to your regularly scheduled special edition post.
As noted earlier, the next few shows of WWE programming had Mick building up this Cactus character, one of Japanese death fare and exploding rings. Mick also described Cactus as the type of guy who went to cheap hotels, and trying to save a few bucks, his cuts would stick to the sheets! HE’S HARDCORE!
January 23rd, 2000 would be the day where the war would be battled. The field in which this epic fight occurred was no other than Madison Square Garden, Add in the pomp and circumstance a Royal Rumble usually brings, and it equals something very special in the making.
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Since this Rumble had the Street Fight theme, there was a special entryway. Using the “hidden” entrance that is unique to the mecca, decorations of a taxi cab, bricks, wooden pallets, etc., were used to mimic a NYC street.
Cactus Jack is introduced first. Greeted to big pop from MSG, the hardcore legend looked to start 2000 on a huge note.
Coming out second is the WWE Champion, Triple H. Dastardly and despicable, the Cerebral Assassin looks to make a name for himself at the expense of his opponent.
Although Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley accompanies her husband down the aisle, she gives him a quick kiss and goes to the back. This is certainly no place for a lady, or in Jim Ross’ dictionary, a jezebel!
Cactus is so set on destroying Triple H, Earl Hebner has to hold him back while the champ makes his entrance!
After Helmsley makes his presence known, Hebner quickly holds up the title. There is no time being wasted here!
On the Hard Knocks and Cheap Pops DVD, Mick states that he and Triple H are doing some serious jaw-jacking. Helmsley’s cologne of choice to the match was so overwhelming, Cactus asked Triple H what was the brand? Not liking the answer, the two then traded right hands.
“I don’t know what the challenger had to say to the champion, but the talking has stopped. The action has begun, and the Street Fight... for the WWF Championship... is underway!”
Cactus dominates the match early, with a swinging neckbreaker on the floor followed by a leg drop on the ropes as exclamation points.
Over the timekeeper’s table, Triple H quickly turns the tide with a timely shot. The ring bell is once again gracing the face of Foley. As Foley recovers, Triple H rolls back into the squared circle with a chair.
Like a matador to a vicious bull, Triple H has the chair ready to swinging on Cactus’ proverbial horns.
Triple H unloads with a VICIOUS chairshot, only for Foley to pop like up like it was nothing!
After pretty much giving Helmsley his free shot, Cactus gets one in of his own: a legdrop on top of a chair that was placed over Helmsley’s head! This earns the first near-fall of the contest.
Back to the outside, Helmsley charges into Cactus, only to be back-bodydropped into the audience.
“THESE ARE CACTUS’ FANS,” exclaims Jerry Lawler who tries to explain why this match isn’t fair to Hunter.
After brawling in the first six rows, the two land right in the aisleway from the stairs.
Foley, using the environment to his advantage, sets up two broken pallets in the aisle. This sets up a NASTY suplex on the wood, and now a gash appears on Hunter’s leg. Helmsley also eats some trash can for his troubles.
After the wood meeting, Cactus sets up another meeting. Mr. Helmsley, Mr. WWF door. Go meet it! He does, a lot of times in quick succession!
“This has gone too far,” JR notes. So far this feels tame!
In a sense of desperation. Hunter snags in a quick suplex on the trash can. 
After more brawling which results in Hunter eating steel steps, Cactus retrieves a weapon from underneath the ring.
What is it you think?
How about this?
Laced in barbed wire, this piece of wood sure seems to be stiff on impact!
(leaves room)
After that innuendo, Cactus attempts to use it, but Hunter snags a nut shot.
Picking up the proverbial loaded gun, Hunter unloads on Cactus.
Almost getting in a head-shot, Helmsley gets a strike to the gut. Cactus then sets up for a low-blow of his own, but instead uses Stick Stickley as his alibi!
Cactus nails the double-armed DDT as Hebner gets that wood out of here. So far, the removal of the plank got more heat than Helmsley!
Jack got a near-fall from said DDT, but now is looking for the wood again. He bullies Hebner into telling him where it is. Poor Hugo Savinovich doesn’t get a break, and receives a right hand! Carlos does the drug deal, and gives Cactus the wood back. Isn’t he a nice guy or what?
Cactus is ready to swing, but the ref is holding him back. As Cactus switches sides, he moves out of the way so Hunter gets to Hebner, As Hebner goes down, so does Helmsley, but H got his courtesy of the home run swung by Cactus!
Both Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler go batshit crazy, and assumingly, both their undershorts will need changing.
A near-fall occurs, but even with Triple H kicking out, the blood loss from Hunter is now very much evident. One huff, and a cut turns from a cut to a near-crimson mask. Gruesome stuff up-close.
JR noted these two had a license to maim. That’s what this match should have been underscored as, “Street Fight: License to Maim”! Instant money!
In the following sequence, Cactus sets up Hunter on the announce table. A piledriver is called for, but instead, H bodydrops the hardcore persona. The table collapses under the weight, and another look of the blood loss is accrued.
Attempting a Pedigree, Hunter instead eats the steel post, and then is given a modified Bulldog on the barbed wire wood that just so happened to lie there!
After yet another near-fall, Cactus does his double-clothesline on Hunter over the top. Cactus tries to charge Hunter into the steps again, but Jack instead gets slammed onto the steps, with his knees slamming onto the metal! OUCH! Triple H then whips Cactus into the steps, the momentum of which sends Jack FLYING over the steps completely!
Another humorous part to mention. Lawler asks about how Triple H has the stamina to endure to much pain, in which JR replies he is a stud. Simultaneously, a whole bunch of women do that whistling thing while Hunter rolls into the ring. Gotta love Attitude crowds!
Hunter gets the better of Jack in this portion, with a few stiff barbed wire shots to the left leg.
Staggering like a punch-drunk fool, Hunter yanks handcuffs away from Howard Finkel. With visions of 1999 dancing in his head, Hunter got punched in the head a couple of times before finally fulfilling the warrant on Cactus.
With Cactus cuffed, Hunter gets some free shots in.
Hunter then gets the steps what there cocked ever so slightly by a hurling Cactus from earlier. With evil intent, Trips tries to deck Cactus in the head, but Cactus hits the drop-toe-hold, and Triple H is now spitting up Chiclets!
Gaining some momentum, Cactus gets out of the corner with a kick to Triple H’s face, a falling low-blow, and then some biting that would make Hannibal Lecter proud. Yes, give that man some fava beans and a nice chianti as well!
Hunter swings the tide yet again with a clothesline. A close-up shows Cactus’ mangled ear, which JR claims was lost in ‘combat’. When we mean combat, we mean WCW, Germany, 1994.
Grabbing a chair, the blood-caked Game delivers some spine-tingling shots. The third shot was so hard that a flap of the chair went flying down the aisle as Cactus fell out the ring! Cue the holy shit chant! Sadly it never happened.
Triple H catches up with Cactus in the aisle, delivers a headshot with the chair.
With a scary visual of a bloody mouth, Cactus dares for Triple H to hit him again. Instead of Cactus getting knocked down like a railroad spike, he gets something else.
THE ROCK!
THE ROCK!
CHAIRSHOT! GAME DOWN!
While the crowd goes nuts, a NYPD officer frees the Long Island native from the cuffs.
Both men are up as Cactus brawls with Triple H to the Spanish announcer table. Let’s not forget the WWE one was eliminated earlier in the bodydrop.
Cactus successfully executes the piledriver, BUT THE TABLE DOESN’T GO DOWN! That has to be the first time, the last time, and the only time the Spanish table gets the free pass.
With both men back in the ring, Cactus gets a bag. Not just any bag though. A BAG OF FUCKING THUMBTACKS! YES I SAID THE ‘F’ BOMB AND I’M PROUD OF IT!
Stephanie comes rushing down, trying to reason with Cactus, but to no avail. Cactus gives right hand after right hand to Triple H, trying to make him fall into the tacks.
Gaining some momentum, Triple H senses the urgency, and drops Cactus like a bad habit into the tacks! A close-up reveals that Cactus has almost a new layer of wardrobe.
Cactus walks right into a Pedigree. This should be over, right?!?!?!
NO!
CACTUS KICKS OUT, AND THE MSG FAITHFUL HAVE GONE APESHIT!
As the crowd chants ‘FOLEY’, Cactus walks yet into another Pedigree. This time, onto the TACKS!
This finally kills Cactus, as the 1-2-3 is counted down. So after nearly a half hour of brawling, blood, guts, and mischief, Triple H is STILL YOUR WWE CHAMPION!
Before the post-match buffoonery begins, let’s look at Stephanie McMahon, shall we?
That’s better.
Yuck.
Triple H is helped onto a stretcher, but a tack-induced Cactus Jack is not done with him. Throwing him back into the ring, Cactus delivers yet ANOTHER barbed wire shot into the face! After Cactus’ music hits, this finally ends it.
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