BBB’s WWE Column #3

Top 10 Best WWE PPV Matches of the 1990’s

Welcome back to another one of my countdown lists. In response to such the outpouring of visits (it broke records for me in hourly and daily views), I decided to make a “sequel” so to speak.

This one however will be a little different.

Instead of doing a straight list defining a decade, I’m taking each year and putting down the contest that was either the best or most significant in the time period. Some of these matches will surprise you, but some of them being on here are just plain elementary.

Before I begin, let me note that like the previous countdown, there were some incredibly hard choices to make. The years 1996-1998 in particular had some real challenging thought processes. With a list like this though, it’s like a big-ass time warp. This decade went through many generational gaps, and lots of people (famous or not) came and went. Whatever the case may be, let’s count down the list of the best pay per view matches for WWE from 1990-1999!

1990: Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior, Title for Title (Winner Takes Both WWE and Intercontinental Championships), Wrestlemania VI

If ever the term “dream match” popped up in an average WWE fan’s head back in 1989 or so, it would be this one. An unprecedented babyface vs. babyface battle of the universe, with two men that represented the company as a whole through the latter half of the 1980’s. Add in the fact that it was a “title for title” match (Hogan’s WWE Championship, Warrior’s Intercontinental Championship, winner take all), and suddenly Toronto, Canada became the hottest place in sports-entertainment at the turn of the decade!

Now let’s keep in check that both men weren’t the most skilled men in the world. It’s been said that Warrior couldn’t work to the point where literally he would rush through everything and risk injury to his opponent. Hogan is one of those guys that pretty much ushered in “WWE safe style” before it became popular, because he was on the road all the time and needed to keep his body healthy.

The commentators for the match are Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “the Body” Ventura. Why this is listed is because normally in a match like this, you’d have a guy like Gorilla root for the face and Jesse (or Bobby Heenan as equivalent) root for the heel. Instead, both men had to pick their spots at certain points, which certainly lead to unique broadcasting moments.

As for the match, it certainly wasn’t anything special in terms of movesets and/or skills. However, the BIG saving grace here is that both men told a story. A very well-done story at that. To quote Paul Heyman from Wrestlemania X-Seven, “It’s a match both men must win, but neither man can afford to lose.”

It was a grueling twenty minute affair of nothing but brute strength and power. The ending saw Hogan attempting the drop the leg an unforeseen SECOND TIME, but missed, and was prone to the Warrior Splash. In a moment that literally handed the torch, Warrior was now a dual-champion.

Hogan gave Warrior the belt himself and shared an embrace as 60,000+ screaming fans were louder than the pyrotechnics that went off. In a sense, it was definitely “mission accomplished” for Vince McMahon, who while he knew it was a dream match, for actually pulling the trigger on this, seeing as this was never done “back in the day”.

The intro to the show. I miss Vince in this capacity!

1991: Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior, “Retirement Match”, Wrestlemania VII

Now before you starting clicking “back” on your internet browser, let’s keep one thing in check. This match is listed primarily for the transition of Savage’s character. While Perfect/Hart from Summerslam was a better match technically, this one was a helluva more interested to view and type about.

Before we go into that, let’s take a look at the downward slide of Warrior. For one, he should have been a successful champion like predecessor Hogan. While it was common knowledge that Warrior was quite the air-head behind the scenes, that wasn’t the reason why the face-painted goliath was never a draw. It was mainly due to the fact that no credible heels were brought up as legit challengers. With the exception of Rick Rude (who as you may recall beat Warrior for the IC title at Wrestlemania VI), no one looked legitimate as an immediate successor to Warrior’s throne. This led to sliding draws and buys.

Fast-forward to the Royal Rumble in 1991. Or just before then actually. Sherri asked Warrior if he could give Savage a title shot. Warrior said no. This led to “Macho King” Savage (who won the house-show King of the Ring tourney in 1990) interfering in the Rumble match with Warrior defending the title against heel Iraqi-sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter. A crack to the head with the scepter Savage had, and Warrior was suddenly without a belt.

For winning the Rumble match, good ol’ American boy Hogan was going to fight Slaughter. Warrior had Savage, and both agreed to the retirement stipulation, where if you lose you’re history. Not unlike the “Instant Replay” fiasco that would air after this contest. For the main joke concerning that and a recent angle, check out this post I did a few weeks ago.

Back to the bout. For the first 15 or so minutes, again nothing special. Monsoon and Heenan were as usual making ridiculous barbs towards one another that led to humor within the match. Like the other match, the ending was memorable. Savage did a spot where he gave Warrior FIVE flying elbows from the top rope. Instead of finishing off the man of “destrucity”, UW popped up and gave “King” a shoulder tackle so hard, Savage went through the ropes! Warrior brought him back into the ring, and with a foot on his chest, kept his job while Savage lurked in the cold.

Sherri, Savage’s valet, laid into him the disappointment she felt. Who took exception to all this? Elizabeth of course! Running as fast as she could to the ring in heels that should have snapped off, Liz fought off Sherri. Because Savage was knocked out at the time of Sherri’s attack, he sees Liz and thought she did it. After coming to however, Savage and Liz made up and the crowd in attendance at the Sports Arena teared up like little children. “The Match Made in Heaven”, with a newly-found face Savage, was set for Summerslam at MSG, which could also be viewed in my last countdown.

It’s, um, out there!

1992: Bret Hart vs. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, Intercontinental Championship, Wrestlemania VIII

The Hart/Smith match was more emotional and technically sound than this one, I will admit. However, I still found this match with it’s complexities to be more engaging than the one held a few months later at Summerslam. At least none of the combatants here are high off their asses.

Piper at this point in his career was nothing more than a part-time wrestler who just so happened to commentate every now and again. However, the man who previously had ZERO championships in the WWE suddenly had a opportunity at the Intercontinental Championship.

It all started before the 1992 Royal Rumble. Bret Hart, feigning illness, battled The Mountie with said IC belt on the line. For Hart on this night, being sick did him in as The Mountie would win the title. Only to lose it to Piper the next night at said Rumble event.

Fast forward to VIII. Both men are in their peak conditions physically (ESPECIALLY Piper), and looked ready to battle. After a nice little pre-match interview segment, we’re rolling into the bout.

Both men exchanged holds and were “nice” to each other as whenever one man was hurled out, the other would hold the ropes down so the “hurled” man can come back in.

At one point, Bret Hart does probably the best blade job ever. Knocked into the post, Hart’s reveal saw a near-crimson mask. It looked so real that the trainers post-match actually said the post cut him. Hart would later admit in his autobiography that it was him who did the damage.

Back to the ring, and Piper was feeling cocky. So cocky in fact that he had a ring bell in his hand, and wanted to knock Hart’s figurative one in! Instead of doing that, Piper listened to the crowd in Indianapolis and but the bell down to a massive roar. Crowd psychology goes a long way in making matches great.

To the finish, and certainly a unique one at that. Piper puts Bret in the signature sleeper, but Bret is able to do an inverted-bulldog like maneuver off the turnbuckles and pins Piper’s shoulders down for the three and the title! Bret bled to the point where he sported as much red on his tights as pink! The two men hugged as the crowd knew they just saw something special. Definitely Piper’s best match of his career.

Sorry for quality, but sentiment is the same.

1993: Bret Hart’s King of the Ring Trilogy

The only spot on the countdown where you get not one, not two, but THREE matches in the same slot. Coming to you from Ohio, it’s the inaugural King of the Ring PPV. In this sense, it’s only more than appropriate to do so, and I’ll give you the backstory.

Early 1993 was a great time to be a Bret Hart fan. After winning the WWE Championship from Ric Flair in Saskatoon, Bret was a fighting champion who literally took on EVERYBODY. His work was unprecedented and unsurpassed as standard-bearer.

As Wrestlemania IX drew closer, politics started to show their ugly head. Originally it was going to be Hart vs. Ultimate Warrior for the title, with Hart noting in the autobiography that he had visions of Warrior tapping out in his head. Sadly, Warrior would be “endeavored” due to a drug test failure, and therefore a new plan was hatched.

Enter Yokozuna. A 500+ pound behemoth, he moved with surprising agility and his Splash was something to behold!

Now enter, ahem, HULK HOGAN?!!??! DIDN’T HE REITRE? Yes, he “did”. In wrestling though, retirement is one of those words that never truly sticks. Originally booked and competed in a match for the tag titles (which Hogan didn’t need or want), he asked Vince to be plopped in the title match.

So Hart and Yokozuna rage on, and Mr. Fuji puts the salt in Hart’s eyes. Yoko takes advantage, and wins the strap. Or so he thinks. Hogan comes out to “defend” Hart’s honor, and after a miscue of salt, Hogan drops the leg and becomes WWE Champion for a fifth time!

This wouldn’t sound so bad if Hogan then fought Hart for the title at Summerslam, but as you would see, Hogan thought Hart was “too small”, and instead dropped it to Yoko at King of the Ring.

Vince knew that Bret had been screwed over HUGE. In a surprising turn of events, McMahon made the King of the Ring PPV in 1993 pretty much a “Bret Hart Showcase”.

In the first match of the evening, Bret faced off against Razor Ramon, aka Scott Hall. Hall at this point was weeks away from turning face, and this would be his last event as a heel until WCW’s Bash at the Beach 1996. The two had a decent contest, which also saw Hall accidentally break one of Hart’s fingers. Ramon, in the finish, tried to superplex Hart of the top, but Bret shifted course, and pinned Hall to advance to the semis.

So who would Hart face in the next round? None other than Curt Henning, the man whom he won the IC title from at Summerslam a couple of years back. In a pre-match interview, the two had a nice little bicker about their fathers, but Henning fired the last shot saying he wants to get his win back. THAT’S how you do a mini-buildup with no notice! Once again, the two deliver a twenty minute classic. In a moment of desperation, Henning tried to pin Hart with a small package, but Bret reversed course and moves on to the finals! The two shake hands, but Henning is pissed at no one but himself for letting yet another win slip away

In the finals, Bret definitely had an uphill challenge. It was against the big, the bad, BAM BAM BIGELOW! Keep in mind that Bret had already wrestled for some 35 or so minutes in the show, and thus has a ton of wear and tear on him. Predictably, it was a “big man vs. small man” bout, but since Bam Bam is not your normal big guy, he flies around the ring too! Like a David with a his slingshot, Hart rolls up Bigelow for a 1-2-3, and becomes 1993 King of the Ring!

At the reception speech, Hart gets jumped by Jerry Lawler, who promptly calls himself the real “King”. A pretty cool “downer” ending to a really good show. Now you see why I inducted all three matches together. It’s because I made it all part of a WHOLE, the whole deal of Bret winning King of the Ring. Not just that, but Bret wrestled three different guys, with three different figures and three different styles. At the end of the day, there’s no workhorse like the ‘Hitman’.

Rematches should never be this good!

1994: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels, Ladder Match, Intercontinental Championship, Wrestlemania X

Back in 1994, the landscape of the WWE changed dramatically. It took the shape of more cartoonish angles and characters, while it also became more kid friendly. At the same time, there were still a decent amount of good workers ready to put on a show.

Enter “The Kliq”.

To fully explain the story, one must go all the way back to the summer of 1993. Shawn Michaels, then-IC champion, was suspended for failing a drug test. In an act of unheard-of defiance, Shawn actually kept the belt which forced Vince to make a new one.

Razor Ramon won the battle royal/match to become a brand-new IC representative. This was all fine and dandy until Shawn popped up on WWE TV, with older IC title in his hand. With the two at each other’s throats, the match at Wrestlemania would be for the first time ever on television or PPV, a LADDER MATCH!

Since this was Wrestlemania TEN, we are in MSG. Very quaint arena compared to let’s say Caesar’s Palace or the Skydome. However, the fans in attendance and millions watching around the world saw probably the single-most innovative match of the 90’s from the WWE.

The beginning of the match saw wrestling holds being exchanged, but once they went to the outside, it was all purgatory from there. Diesel,  aka Kevin Nash and Shawn’s bodyguard, cold-cocked Razor with a right-hand, and was promptly thrown out by Earl Hebner!

Shawn and Razor took turns eating steel throughout the remainder of the bout, with Shawn delivering a splash from the top which captivated audiences all around the world. This also started the legend of “Mr. Wrestlemania” for one Heartbreak Kid.

The finish saw Shawn trying to grab the titles, but is knocked off the ladder by Ramon. Tied up in the ropes, HBK desperately tries to get out, but fails to do so and thus Razor is now UNDISPUTED Intercontinental Champion, with both pieces of gold firmly in his grasp!

This match was so good that a sequel about a year later took place. Even though it’s not on this list, it is definitely recommended, and can be seen on The Ladder Match DVD.

Two titles, two belts.

BBB’s WWE Column #2

Top 10 Best PPV’s I’ve Ever Seen

Today we’ll be looking basically at the ten best variations on a theme. WWE has always been known as a innovator to the service known as Pay-Per-View broadcasting, and this list will prove that.

Before I begin, let me note that there are some events I had some real trouble pondering about being on/off the list. This list is completely done strictly on my own terms, and you the reader may have something different. Whatever the case may be, let’s jump right to the list of events that didn’t get on the mantle (sadly).

• Wrestlemanias III, XIV, and 23
• Royal Rumbles from 1992, 1998 (for nostalgia mainly), 2005, and 2007
• Summerslams from 1989, 1996, 1997 (although the poster is there), 2000-2001, and 2005
• Survivor Series’ from 1989, 1992, 1995, 1998, and 2001
• Others (not in the series’ of those listed): King of the Ring 1993 and 1998, Vengeance 2003/2004/2006, Taboo Tuesday 2005, In Your House: Final Four, and Armageddon 2006.

Keep in mind once again that this list was made with some really heart-breaking (no pun intended) decisions. At the same time however I try to keep some values in check: quality, “booking”, and rewatch-ability. With that in mind, let’s go to the video tape or the disc, because it’s time to count ‘em down!  

10. Unforgiven 2006

 

At this point in time, the red brand of the WWE was on  a major roll. D-Generation X was reunited and going on strong, Vince McMahon was/is a crazy bastard, John Cena delivering the goods with Edge very week, etc.

This card personified that so much, it should have been Summerslam to a large degree.

Emanating from Toronto, Canada, this single-branded event has a STACKED card. Not only is there a Women’s Championship match that would turn out to be the last of Trish Stratus’ career, not only is there a Hell in the Cell match between Shawn Michaels & Triple H vs. Shane & Vince McMahon & Big Show, but the main event is a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match for the WWE Championship between Edge (hometown boy) and John Cena.

Even the under-card bouts like Johnny Nitro vs. Jeff Hardy and Kane with Umaga (rest his soul) are decent. They’re more like the appetizers between the three medium-to-large size meals serving as triple-header main events.

9. Vengeance 2005

This event took place in a strange time in WWE history.

For the first (and only) time ever, the WWE Draft spanned over shows and weeks.

As a major bombshell, the very first draft pick for Raw would be then-Smackdown’s WWE Champion John Cena!

With how this period of history was booked, this is the only time ever where you’ll see both champions on both shows defending their titles on a single-branded PPV. A gamble ironically held in Las Vegas.

How was this PPV so high on my list?

For starters, the opener between Carlito and Shelton Benjamin for the Intercontinental Championship was decent. Shawn Michaels and Kurt Angle had another classic. John Cena had a worthy title defense against a newly-heel Chris Jericho and always-heel Christian.

The focal point of the show however would be the feud-ending Hell in the Cell encounter between Batista and Triple H. With the World Heavyweight Championship on the line, this match had a lot at stake.

Long story short, ‘The Animal’ Batista-Bombed ‘The Game’ straight to hell to retain the title yet again. On the DVD, both men backstage made up with Triple H saying, “Evolution baby,” while trying to stand up straight from an insane amount of blood loss.

As a result, Batista as the World Heavyweight Champion would be drafted to the blue brand (aka Smackdown). Therefore, WWE book-ended their draft by swapping the places of both world champions. Not a bad move to be honest.

8. Wrestlemania III (1987)

Although this list will have a more significant presence of the newer-incarnations, it is also important to tip the hat off to the events that paved the way. Why not go with the PPV that’s “Bigger! Better! Badder!”

Getting off the myth about the audience figures at the Pontiac Silverdome, it is hard to deny such the grand stature of the stadium setting. Starting near the denouement of the day and driving into the darkness of night, it seemed as if there were multiple events for the price of one!

While most of the under-card was somewhat forgettable (KING KONG BUNDY BEATING UP MIDGETS!), the ‘Mania was known for two matches primarily.

First up for bids is the Intercontinental Championship match between Randy Savage and Ricky “the Dragon” Steamboat. One of the most influential bouts in history, the technical skills and near-falls are the meat and potatoes of the contest. After the last cradle-attempt, Steamboat finally won the IC title to a huge roar of the crowd. It’s also one of those matches that while it may seem a little tame now, no one can understate the power of the influence this match had on the people watching, and for that I salute it.

The other encounter was the WWE Championship match between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant. For a few years on television, the two were acknowledged as friends, tag partners, and all-encompassing good guys. Then Andre turned “bad”, and tore the shirt off Hulk’s chest on Saturday Night’s Main Event. For how slow the match moved, the crowd was into it ALL. It goes to show that you don’t need flashy moves and trick spots in order to work the audience over. Nonetheless, Hogan slammed Andre and dropped the leg for 1-2-3. History was made, and everyone was the wiser.

7.  Summerslam 1991

Madison Square Garden is called "The Mecca” for WWE and its superstars. Not only was it the “home base” for the old WWWF promotion run by Vincent J. McMahon (father of Vincent K), but also it provided for some very memorable moments.

This event is no exception.

As you can see, the show is one of those anomalies where a dual-head main event situation featured a match and a WEDDING!

More on those in a second.

By far the best match on the show was the Intercontinental Championship bout between Mr. Perfect (Curt Henning) and a newly-singles competitor in the name of Bret Hart. Both men had some classics back in the latter half of the 80s’, but all of those combats were held under the first aborted face run for the ‘Hitman’.

So here we are. The only thing not ‘Perfect’ about Henning was a severe back injury, that almost put him out of action. Henning agreed to drop the title (apparently) if only he lost it to Bret.

These two men awarded the fans a twenty-minute classic, complete with whistle-blowing from a man known as Coach (not Coachman, but of John Tolos). Hart won after slapping on the Sharpshooter, and Henning tapped out immediately (and I believe legitimately).

The wrestling main event was not bad considering the opponents, but definitely wasn’t good either. WWE Champion Hulk Hogan teamed up with the Ultimate “Future Endeavors” Warrior against the “Triangle of Terror”, featuring Sgt. Slaughter, General Adnan, and Col. Mustafa (aka Iron Shiek). Ref’ed by Sid Vicious, the match saw Hulkster get the pinfall, while Warrior ran to the back to be subsequently fired by Vince for holding him up for money to perform. There’s more to the story on The Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior, a highly entertaining albeit "burial” of the man on DVD.

Hear those wedding bells? That’s the main event slot of the holy matrimony ceremony of Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth. If you remember correctly, heel Savage lost a ‘Retirement Match’ to Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania VII. After the match, Savage’s valet Sensational Sherri was a little more than disgraceful to him. Enter Elizabeth, who was spotted in the crowd earlier in the show. She stops the assault, and Macho turned face while hoisting her in air. So the marriage happens, blah blah blah. The big moment of this celebration happened during the reception. Liz opened a box which featured a snake, a signature of one Jake Roberts (now a heel). This would lead to an intense feud between the two men in events down the road.

6. Royal Rumble 2001

In 2001, there was a holy trinity of PPV events. The “opener” so to speak was the year’s Royal Rumble event.

Emanating from Louisiana, the show had a grand total of five matches on the card. Every single one of them mattered.

The tag match with Edge & Christian versus the Dudley Boys was a hotly contested affair. With the main story of said Dudleys fighting off concussions, it would prove to be a factor. However, D-Von and Bubba Ray would rally to win once again the tag titles, and all seemed right for now.

Next there was a sadistic match in the form of a ‘Ladder’ stipulation. With the IC title on the line, Chris Jericho went up against his bitter rival Chris Benoit. For 20 grueling minutes, the two would swap holds and exchange different ways on how to eat ladders (and in Benoit’s case a chair). Jericho, with some of the slowest climbing of a ladder I’ve seen, grabbed the gold and was victorious.

Although the Women’s Championship match wasn’t much, at least it advanced the story a little more towards Wrestlemania. Ivory (of the Right to Censor faction), injured Chyna’s beck, and thus the “9th Wonder of the World” wanted revenge. Predictably, Ivory beat up Chyna again with the numbers game and thus the action is starting to crescendo.

Surprisingly enough, the WWE Championship match between Kurt Angle and Triple H felt very overbooked. While the two men needed no help in making at least a good match, there was women and Vince and Steve Austin oh my! As a matter of fact, Austin whacked Triple H in the head with a title belt, and pretty much gave the win to Angle. Bloody and pissed, it wouldn’t be the last of “The Game” on this night.

Of course the main event indeed was the signature and iconic Royal Rumble. 30 men with 2 minute intervals between combatants, it is one of the more unpredictable events of the calendar year. Case in point: Drew Carey (the fat version) entered into the fray as the Hardy Boyz eliminated each other simultaneously. After Carey appeased himself to the fans as ringside, there’s another contestant! KANE, COME ON DOWN, YOU’RE NEXT UP ON THE PRICE IS WRONG, BITCH! In one of the more memorable passages you’ll ever read (if you’re not a fan), Kane walks in, grabs Carey by the throat (after not accepting Drew’s money), and gets ready for the chokeslam, but Al Snow comes in and saves Carey’s ass. The fat man then did the honors of taking himself out by going over the top and thus escaping harm. Later on, Austin came out and was promptly jumped by Triple H. Although he was battered mercilessly with the red stuff to prove it, Steve’s saving grace was that he never entered the ring. After some domination by Kane with “brother” Undertaker, Austin came back into the match. Austin and Kane were the final two of this one. Austin, with guts and determination, waffled Kane with chair shots, and eliminating the “Iron Man” (lasting almost a full hour) Big Red Machine. Not only did ‘The Rattlesnake’ win the match, but he’d have a title match for another entry on this list.

As a whole, this event kicked all sorts of ass. In my opinion, the best all-around Rumble event ever. The event was a perfect mix of sport and entertainment, one that would be eclipsed by arguably the best Wrestlemania ever subjectively.

5. In Your House: Canadian Stampede (1997)

Of all the events on this count-down, there is probably not one event that could rival the electricity and the complexities like this one.

From the Saddledome in Calgary, Alberta, the Canadian arena would be a perfect setting for the last-ever two-hour PPV event in WWE history.

While the event was just two hours and four matches in length, it told more of a story in that time than most could do in three.

The opening bout featured a young Triple H (with his full name, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, newly-crowned King of the Ring) versus the deranged Mankind, the man who lost to H in the finals of said King of the Ring tourney. A wild brawl with essentially no-finish, both men tore each apart and Helmsley even sported some color for good measure. Mankind would get the upper hand, but the steel cage encounter the month after at Summerslam would really cement both the character and feud.

Japanese “Great Sasuke” went up against a young and up-coming Taka Michinoku. Regardless of the politics surrounding this match and a Japanese influx in the WWE at the time, this match is viewed as refreshing original in the landscape.  While it could be said WCW had Japanese talent earlier and harder (ECW could even claim that against WCW too), WWE got themselves something good out of that match.

Next would be the WWE Championship match between Undertaker and Vader. After a match which featured two of the smaller men on the roster, this encounter featured two of the biggest red wood trees in the forest. Easily eclipsing the match from earlier in the year at the Royal Rumble, ‘Taker would retain the title with an impressive-looking Tombstone Piledriver. If I remember correctly, that may very well be the biggest man ‘The Phenom’ has ever piledriven too, as Vader was close to 460 pounds! For as celebrated as Undertaker is, this title reign is REALLY underrated. Just take a look of these reviews of his defenses against Mankind and Steve Austin, just to further prove my point.

Speaking of Austin, here’s a match that would help define his career in a way no one really thinks about.

The main event of the show was a epic ten-man tag team attraction bout between The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Jim Neidhart, & Brian Pillman) and the team featuring Austin, Ken Shamrock, Goldust, and The Road Warriors Animal & Hawk. Depending on which part of the North American continent you live on, the dynamics can greatly change. In the USA, the Hart Foundation were despised cronies who detested anything Americans believe/do, and the Austin team were the rebellious babyfaces waiting to stop their advances. In Canada however, the Harts can literally do no wrong. Seeing as we are in Canada, you can assume that Steve Austin is a heel and be 100% correct. Do you think he minds it? To phrase the man, “OH...HELLLLLL NO!” As a matter of fact, he SMILES at the reaction he receives. This match would be a grand 25-minute affair, with all men getting a good chunk of screen time. The ending would feature Owen Hart, taken out of the match earlier, returning to pin Austin (with handful of tights) and win the match for his team. Post-match shenanigans were pretty cool too, as Austin tries to beat-down the whole damn Hart family, but gets arrested by Canada’s police instead! Watch for the fingers he gives the crowd WHILE IN HANDCUFFS!

4. SummerSlam 2002

 

Subjection, rose-tinted glasses for “the good ol’ days”, or even personal/group bias. It doesn’t matter.

This event took place from the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Uniondale, New York. If I remember correctly, it’s the first PPV Long Island had a part of since Wrestlemania 2 in 1986!

Of all the cards on this list, this event may very well have the best opener. Our Olympic Hero (I mean heel) Kurt Angle took on the newly-returned Rey Mysterio in a match that clashed styles, cultures, etc. Although they had some encounters leading up to this event, for Kurt it would be a “put up or shut up” situation. Kurt comes down with his entrance and waits for Rey like a hawk for prey. Instead, as the music for Rey hits, Mysterio surprises Angle from behind, and for the next ten minutes would wow the crowd with their move/counter-move layout. Angle did get that win, quite convincingly with a Angle Lock submission.

The next two matches are solidly underrated bouts. Edge would take on Eddie Guerrero, while Chris Jericho would battle Ric Flair. While there was nothing too spectacular about either contest, it does prove that a little bit of wrestling could go a long way in setting up a card. Both the matches were won by the faces (Edge and Flair), while the rematches a month later were won by the heels (Jericho and Guerrero).

Rob Van Dam would challenge for the Intercontinental Championship against Chris Benoit. Like the opener, this joust would feature clashing styles (RVD being a high-flyer and Benoit a submission specialist). At the same time, both General Managers (Eric Bischoff for RAW and Stephanie McMahon for Smackdown) were eagerly anticipating that their man would take home the gold. At the end of the day, Easy-E would take home the honors while Stephers, with hot legs to match, would sit there aggravated at her adversary’s victory.  

The tag title and Undertaker matches weren’t special. Long story short, Christian and Lance Storm retained their tag titles against Booker T & Goldust, while “The American Bad Ass” Undertaker beat Test. Undertaker was a newly-turned face after he stood up to the Un-Americans (which included Test and the tag champions).

Here is when the true fun of the show begins. Keep in mind this was a good show on it’s own so far, but now we’re going into epic mode. So strap in tight!

While most of these guys have wrestled night-in and night-out for the last several years, one man in particular has not. Shawn Michaels, one wrestler with the nicknames to match the accolades, had been noticeably absent from the WWE. With back surgery and drug problems hampering him, the Heartbreak Kid was “born again” earlier in the year, and the Attitude (in more ways than one) would carry him back into the ‘E. His nemesis would be real-life best friend but newly-turned heel Triple H. Trips, as you may remember, turned on Shawn the night after Vengeance by Pedigreeing his ass right in the middle of the ring. After some vehicular assaults, HBK made it known he was ready for Summerslam. While this would be Shawn’s first official match (in a unsanctioned environment) in four years, the rust is not evident at all. These two went nearly a half hour, and not once did it feel like the match was going to fall apart. Shawn stunned Triple H into a rollup after a reversal from the Pedigree, and won! There wasn’t much celebration as a bloody Game sledged Shawn twice in the back. This would set up a feud that would last on-and-off for FOUR YEARS.

After an embarrassing segment between Howard Finkel and Lillian Garcia (Wrestlecrap in it’s truest form), the main event for the Undisputed WWE Championship was here to roll. It featured Brock Lesnar, future UFC champion and at-the-time King of the Ring winner entitled to said title shot, against “The People’s Champion” The Rock. Rock, who only returned the month before, won the title at Vengeance in a epic triple threat match. So to the action. It was a conflicting crowd, as while Brock was a monster heel (who even put HULK HOGAN out of action), he was getting some very noticeable cheers from the Long Island crowd, with boos to Rock to match. Also, the crowd in LI was smarky, knowing that Rock would leave again to make another movie (this time “The Rundown ”). Although people were sitting on both sides of the fence in terms of reaction, both men with varying amounts of experience gave the crowd a surprisingly fulfilling main event, one that had to follow HBK and HHH. Brock won after a THIRD F-5 on Rock, and became WWE Champion for the first time. After Summerslam, Brock would go to Smackdown with the WWE Championship, while Triple H on Raw was “awarded” the newly-reinstated World Heavyweight Championship.

This event in a nutshell was AWESOME. Action, drama, psychology, and pathos to match. Two things keep it from the top: the aforementioned Finkel/Garcia skit, and another skit which featured Nidia and Jamie Noble at “The World” in New York City. With that in mind, I wholeheartedly say this should be in every collection!

3. Wrestlemania XIX (2003)

This is the very first Wrestlemania I saw bell-to-bell (or close to it). With some recent Wrestlemanias being VERY disappointing, it pleases me to think this one has held up so well.

Like X-Seven being held in a baseball stadium (Astrodome), XIX was filmed from Safeco Field in Seattle, Washington. Holding some fifty four thousand fans, it was definitely a good-sized crowd for that year’s ‘Mania.

Let’s get the gripes out of the way first. For starters, the dark match (aka Sunday Night Heat) was the World Tag Team Championship match from RAW involving Lance Storm and Chief Morley (aka Val Venis, but just not a porn star) vs. Rob Van Dam and Kane. With some interference from the Dudleys (who reluctantly did it for keeping employment), the heels of Morley and Storm won. Now, this wouldn’t be a big deal, but this decent match was kicked off the A-Show for the culturally-obscure Miller Lite Catfight Girls. That segment took up a good six minutes of air time, not including the smaller segments earlier in the event. In addition, the traditional performance of “America the Beautiful” (that year by Ashanti) didn’t make the broadcast. That is sacrilege of the highest order, even if it sucked (which I don’t think it did).  I also didn’t really like the fact that ‘Taker was so nice to Fred Durst during his intro, but I digress.

Rey Mysterio, coming out in a Bordeaux-style suit/mask, challenged for Matt Hardy’s Cruiserweight Championship. Hardy, going under moniker Version One at the time, had a website-like Titantron with funny “facts” to boot. Apparently he likes chocolate milk. Not bad I say. Anywhos, this was way too short. A really good match, but only as good as the four minutes could allow. Hardy retained with evil-doolery (aka hands on the rope).

Skipping over the ‘Taker match, which saw him go 11-0 defeating Big Show and A-Train in a mostly handicap match.

Trish Stratus, looking as hot as ever, defeated Jazz and Victoria to win another Women’s Championship. Team Angle, in the form of Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas,  retained the WWE Tag Team Championship against Los Guerreros (Eddie and Chavo) & Chris Benoit and Rhyno.

The first real “Wrestlemania” match so to speak came with the return of “Mr. Wrestlemania”. Shawn Michaels went one-on-one with the arrogant Chris Jericho. These two had SEVERAL run-ins over the last few months, but the heart of the angle lied within the perception of respect/lack thereof Jericho had and didn’t have for HBK. The entrance for Michaels made me realize how happy he was to be there, and I smile EVERY TIME I see it. Kicking the bad habits and making new/good ones, Michaels was roaring and ready to go. Jerry Lawler made a couple of appropo comments that fit this match wonderfully. One was about the lions (how the young one tries to dethrone the older one), and how each men was wrestling like it’s Memorex, because they knew what the other man was going to do before he did it! Twenty minutes of GREAT wrestling action, including Jericho landing a SICK imitation superkick on Shawn! After some reversals, HBK pinned Jericho with a surprise roll-up like the Summerslam entry before. Although Jericho looked like he was going to be nice with a hug gesture, he instead kicks Michaels right in the nuts and thus the feud continues. Their feud in 2008 was the better confrontations, but the best match these two had definitely was THIS.

After a lame Limp Bizkit concert of “Crack Addict”, we have the World Heavyweight Championship match between Triple H and Booker T. While not as good as the match preceding it or the matches proceeding it, this match is still a good contest. However, there are two things I didn’t like. One, I didn’t like how Triple H retained the title, and I’m a fan of the guy! Booker T was on such a roll that I thought a small but fighting title reign would be possible for this guy. Sure a title run would be a few years off, but the rose was long off by that point. Two, I didn’t like Lawler’s commentary on this match at all. Hanging on a balance of racist and ridiculous, Lawler was REALLY starting to grate on Jim Ross’s nerves. Thankfully Lawler would get his stuff together for the Rock/Austin match.

After that we’d have a Street Fight “20 Years in the Making” between Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon. Two men just about to reach/north of 50 fighting in a main event spot of ‘Mania? Color me confused Batman! I will admit though that Hogan coming out to “Voodoo Child” is still amongst the coolest things I’ve seen at any ‘Mania. The first 10 minutes were really stalling, as both men tried to get an upper hand but failed. It took a chair shot from Hogan to Vince for the match to gain momentum. However, the leg drop heard all around the world from the top of the ladder by McMahon is truly a wonderful sight. That, and this image,

Here’s Vince!

Hogan however would not be denied. Even though Roddy Piper surprised the crowd and interfered, and that Vince tried to “No Way Out” Hogan with that ref, there would be nothing stopping Hogan dropping that leg no less than three times to win. Shane checking on his father was a cool touch as well.

Next would be the final match of probably the most famous trilogy in modern times. Steve Austin would make his final competitive in-ring appearance here as he would take on The Rock, newly turned heel with a thorn in his eye. The fact that Austin beat Rock both times at ‘Mania (with the title on the less on both occasions too) is all the world needed for a book-end, and no not the Booker T variety of the Rock Bottom. Or maybe that. Who knows. Point of the matter, it was a really good match. The only one of the three not to feature a No-DQ stipulation, but Earl Hebner let a lot of things slide. It took about 20 minutes and THREE Rock Bottoms, but Rock took the duke in the final act. I love how Jim Ross commentates on how Rock is talking smack to Austin post-match, but in reality it was a show of respect between the two. Austin flips the crowd off (respectfully) as he walks up the ramp after “waking” from his slumber. We thank you Steve for one hell of a career, oh hell yeah!

Main event, from Smackdown (hence the blue font), would be Kurt Angle defending his WWE Championship against Brock Lesnar. The stip being that if Angle DQ’ed himself, Lesnar would automatically become champion. Compared to recent main events of any Wrestlemania, this one might have the most amateur wrestling moves of all of them. This match lasted 23 minutes long, yet it feels that much longer because those moves aren’t the most exciting things in reality. That doesn’t mean though these men put on a bad match, actually far from it. Brock, in probably one of the most jaw-dropping moments in ‘Mania history, attempted a Shooting Star Press on Kurt, but instead, landed RIGHT ON HIS HEAD.

GOD DAMN!

Somehow, Lesnar finished the match with an F-5 on Kurt, and became a two-time WWE Champion. Afterwards, Brock was so out of it that the f-bomb was the only word in his vocabulary, while Kurt was about to have some career-changing neck surgery.

This event was one of those that had it all. Want bumps? Got ‘em. Want technical wrestling? Gotcha some. Want some hot women? Check, check, and more check. Want geriatric bum fighting? Check. And lastly, do you want to see a pumped up atmosphere that longs for nostalgia? Oh yeah!

2. WrestleMania X-Seven (2001)

Flickr Tags: wwe,ppv,top ten,lists,wrestlemania,survivor series,summerslam,royal rumble,canadian stampede,bret hart,shawn michaels,triple h,undertaker,stone cold

Many claim this event as perhaps the best WWE PPV event ever. Located from the Astrodome at the very zenith of the cannon, this PPV had more than a million buys and was very much a name in mainstream culture. This event also is called the end of the Attitude Era, as the Invasion angle was not too far into the oft.

With a small hint of rose-tinted glasses, I’d like to share one little anecdote. The day after Christmas 2006, I headed into my local FYE with gift cards. Of course my favorite section was the wrestling one, but usually all of the titles were sold at MSRP. So here lies the copy of Wrestlemania X-Seven. It was $39.95 USED, and I knew I had nirvana in my hands. I quickly yanked it, while some little kid looked upset. I showed him the price, and he knew he couldn’t afford it. Here’s the actual receipt for this bad boy:

Onwards to the event. The opener saw Chris Jericho retain the Intercontinental Championship against William Regal, who was also then-Commissioner of the WWE. A solid six minute affair, with Regal working over the injured arm of Jericho from the week’s action.

A quickie and non-eventful six man tag follows with APA/Tazz vs. RTC. The Hardcore Championship Triple Threat may win “sleeper match of the decade” award as Raven goes up against Big Show and Kane. For nine minutes, all three men beat the high holy hell out of each other. Some spots saw Raven nearly getting run over, Kane and Big Show going through glass, and then Kane finally wins after a huge leg drop off the top of the set! It was a slobberknocker for sure! One of many on this night.

The European Championship would change hands after Eddie Guerrero wins it with shenanigans from Test. Sadly, Eddie would be released from WWE shortly afterwards as he would begin a rehab program that would see him return in 2002.

Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit had a good match too. For Kurt though, WWE Champion the month before at No Way Out, this must feel like a stinging blow. A technical classic to start out, but when Benoit gets the upper hand, Kurt turns it into a brawl. A rollup of the tights seals it for Kurt, but since karma (and not the woman known as Kong) is a bitch, Kurt got slapped into a Crossface during an interview later on, signifying this is FAR from over.

Chyna won the Women’s title from Ivory in a quick but satisfying match. The months-long angle saw Chyna go from cripple in a hospital bed to crippling the RTC, who would be disbanded shortly afterwards.

Speaking of disbanded, let’s talk about the father/son Street Fight. As you may recall (in kayfabe), WCW was bought out by a McMahon. The one that signed on the dotted line was SHANE, and Vince went batshit crazy. This led to here, as well as Vince wanting to divorce Linda and having Trish as his playmate. Add in Stephers wanting to protect Daddy at all costs, and suddenly this one match could resolve several storylines in one sitting. It was ugly, but the match wasn’t a bad one. Vince apparently potatoed Shane to get the son into the match, because Shane didn’t want to throw first punch. More on that on the McMahon disc. I almost forgot to mention Mick Foley is the referee, and would play an important role in this one. So the two McMahons brawl for what seem to be forever, until Shane missed Vince on the announce table and that proverbial “crash and burn” spot happens. Trish and Steph brawl to waste time, then Vince blasts Foley with the chair. With Shane in the ring, Linda is brought in to witness the sons’ massacre. As Vince is about to hit Shane with a can, Linda rises out of her chair for one of the biggest pops EVER just about. A kick to the nuts followed by a Coast-to-Coast sealed the chairman’s fate, and Shane was victorious.

Next up to bat would be one of the most revered and dangerous matches in the profession of sports-entertainment. Tables. Ladders. Chairs. TWO! Once again, the dastardly duos of Dudleys, Edge & Christian, plus the Hardy Boys (Matt and Jeff) put their bodies on the line in pursuit of a silver lining in the tag division. Tons of interference too from Spike Dudley, Lita, and Rhyno. This is a match where no sentence could accurately describe the violence, unlike the last match where it seemed relatively easy.  Keeping it short and sweet, Rhyno helped Christian to get the belts and the titles. But before I go the next match, let me post a compilation for all to remember:

Let the bodies hit the floor on the highway, that’s the only way!

For all the destructive elements in the last few matches or so, time for some April 1st fun in the form of the Gimmick Battle Royal. Instead of Jim Ross and Paul Heyman (who replaced Lawler at the desk, who quit over the firing of his wife The Kat) commentating, the men at the desk were old-time favorite Mean Gene Okerlund and Bobby “the Brain” Heenan! Heenan in response to Iron Shiek, “He might not hit the ring until Wrestlemania 38!” So with all the commotion, Shiek wins the battle royal, but gets slapped with the Cobra Clutch by Sgt. Slaughter post-match.

Speaking of matches that happened/didn’t happen, we have the first encounter of Triple H and Undertaker at a Wrestlemania. When WWE did the promotions for 27, they acted as if this match didn’t existed! With Motorhead doing the entrance for Triple H and Undertaker coming out to Limp Bizkit’s “Rollin’”, the brawl is on! The ref is bumped EARLY, and although ‘Taker hit a Tombstone, there’s no one to answer. With this in mind, the two go outside to kick each other’s asses some more. Some brawling up a scaffold led to Taker getting wailed on by SEVERAL chair shots, all to the body. Trips taunts too long, and Taker gives him a mighty off-the-scaffold chokeslam! You’re damn right Heyman that Taker has criminal intentions! Back in the ring, the Bad Ass is about to give a Last Ride to Triple H, but Trips has that DAMN SLEDGEHAMMER and gives Taker a huge smack upside the skull with it. Busted wide open, Taker is put into the corner for the 5-Punch Munch. For Triple H though, he punches too long and he gets his Last Ride straight to hell! Bloody but 9-0, Taker rides his motorcycle up the ramp to the cheers of his hometown faithful. Apparently Shawn Michaels should have been ref for this match, but drug problems put the kibosh to those, and this was a point where people thought HBK would never again be on WWE TV. Judging by #4, #3, and what will be #1, I don’t think that’s sad ending.

After that and a crappy contest win, it’s title match time. That cage match music sets the tone perfectly as Rock gets booed, and Austin gets cheered. “It’s a match both men must win, but both can not afford to lose.” After an EPIC video package, Howard Finkel announces it’s now a No Disqualification match. JR is slightly outraged by the development, but that’s the breaks little man! Both men hit the ring, and they waste no time trading right hands like a bar fight! For 30 minutes, these two men would go ALL OUT. I’m not kidding when I tell you there’s close to no rest spots. Both men are bloody, they both trade submission maneuvers, they both steal the other’s finishers, and both men try to do evil deeds to win. NOTHING works. Until, somehow, Vince McMahon (in ring gear no less) comes out. Makes sense that this is a million dollar investment apparently, he wants to make sure there is a winner. Austin is handed a chair by McMahon. Crowd and JR gasps. Rock is hit and Vince counts, but ONLY TWO! This sequence happens multiple times. Austin, with a greedy look in his eyes, hits Rock with the chair multiple times somewhat akin to Triple H to Undertaker in the prior bout. This time however, Austin gets a three and the title! “Steve Austin, just sold his soul to the devil!” Yep, he just did. Many people expected the beer, then the Stunner. The Stunner never occurred. A handshake and a celebrate start the heel run of Steve Austin, one that would run all the way to Survivor Series, then turn face inexplicably the next night.

This was the toughest spot of the countdown to do. While my heart was with XIX to be here, at the same time there were serious flaws in that show that did knock it back to 3rd. X-Seven has a big-fight atmosphere, big stage presence, but more importantly, book-ended a holy trinity of events that had that year’s Royal Rumble and No Way Out. Best ‘Mania ever both figuratively and subjectively, this one stands the test of time.

1. Survivor Series 2002

Well, here it is. Number one, and in my opinion, the only choice.

I’ve written a lot of words on this show. You can catch the Challenge page, and my review of this show on The History of WWE’s page. Long story short, it was my favorite show ever when I first saw it, and years later, still ‘the man’.

CONCLUSION: There’s always a level of subjection and reviewer bias when it comes to these lists. As I mentioned in the intro, there was horrible, horrible choices to endure. Everyone’s lists will be different, but at the same time, that’s one of the fun things about being a fan in the WWE. There will be long-standing debate for YEARS to come. Heck, this list might change a year from now. For now however, this is my personal list of the best of the best. I hope you all enjoyed it, as certainly it stressed creativity and memory to a shocking level.

To leave you, here’s a video of Zen:

Lots of wood.

BBB’s WWE Column #1

As the sun shined in the eastern portion of the United States, Bad Booking was getting ready for work. Meanwhile, I just so happened to go to the FAN (Freakin’ Awesome Network) Forums, and went to the WWE section. I didn’t catch the end of RAW because I valued sleep a little more, not because of the quality of the show.  I was just expecting on getting some results to catch me back up.

Then I saw the thread title, “#1 in the 2011 PWI 500 is...”.

For a second, I thought John Cena or Randy Orton were going to win it again. I mean, multiple time world champions with the amount of good to great matches to compliment. They both represent the company to a great degree and put the business before anything else. So you see by the picture above that a photo-negative took the prize.

Before I start this rant, I do want to say that I have nothing against Mike Mizanin as a person or his beliefs. As a matter of fact, I actually kind of respect him.

His career started out with competing in Tough Enough back in 2004. Although he didn’t win, he definitely had something that if tweaked enough, could amount to some-thing some day.

Heh?

That “some-thing” almost didn’t happen. During his very early days, the man about to be known as Miz ate a piece of chicken in the locker room, and the “boys” so to speak weren’t too kind of this action.

The punishment? He couldn’t be that in space for SIX MONTHS. As in, if he was smelling like crap and had to change, he had to do it in public bathrooms or in hotel rooms. This would be the sort-of-thing that would make a rookie snap under pressure and quit!

If you’re reading this, then you can tell that Miz still stuck around. After being stuck in a lower-to-no-card hell for about a year or so...

Just listen to Bradshaw RAIL on this kid. It’s as if he was soaping his ass in the shower during the match!

Miz was partnered with Johnny Nitro/Morrison, and thus a two year reign of terror of the tag team ranks began.

Plus they had some chemistry not seen since Don Muraco and Mr. Fuji.

Obviously improved and ready to do some battle, Miz had a make-over in the summer of 2009, donned Chris Jericho’s gimmick, and started a meteoric rise towards the top of the WWE echelon.

Now here is where I start to sour on the kayfabe version of Miz. Keep in mind the operative word, kayfabe.

Although there is no doubt Miz was worlds better than what he was, he still wasn’t “that”.

For the next year, the ‘Awesome’ one would snatch that word as his signature catchphrase, and toll around the mid-card, winning the United States and Unified Tag Team Championships.

Watching the television at the time, the purpose of Miz’s character was a little unclear. While he had the US title, most of his action came in the ranks of the tag division, with Big Show acting as teammate/bodyguard. This, at least in my mind, made both of Miz’s initial US title runs quite forgettable, as if the title was devalued because of outside agendas.

Fast forward to July of 2010, when Miz won the red Money in the Bank briefcase at the pay per view of the same name. Miz would do what would be considered “normal” by winner standards, that is stalk whoever is champion in the hopes their title win could be an easy one.

In quite predictable fashion, THIS happened...

Nexus attacks Orton, Miz cashes in. That’s the Cliffnotes version.

Most people would think, including myself, that this would be a transitional reign. A reign so brief that even Bret Hart would think, “Wow, that’s short!”

Somehow, Miz held on for an incredible FIVE AND A HALF MONTHS.

In that time span, he had title defenses against Randy Orton, John Morrison, Jerry Lawler, and John Cena.

Yep, Miz defended the title against less people than Kurt Angle did in one night at Armageddon in 2000 in that Hell in the Cell battle. That’s over the course of 5.5 months people!

Sadly, of all those matches, the two he had against Lawler are considered to be the best matches. Miz could hang with a commentator, but not with Cena and Orton.

Which leads me to WrestleMania 27.

Miz and Cena competed in the second worst main event in five years. Of course that other main event was Orton/Triple H from 25, but that’s a different story for another day.

Whether it was sabotage or lack of chemistry, the matter of the fact was that Miz, as WWE Champion, looked more out of place than Leslie Nielsen in the million man march.

Metaphor proven.

Now with that out of the way, let me state that Miz being out of place as WWE Champion wasn’t entirely Miz’s fault. You see, Cena and The Rock had a purely-verbal feud over the course of winter/spring, and it completely dominated the match leading into 27.

As a result, it made Mike look like a chump, a patsy if you will. I firmly believe that Miz retained at 27 because WWE said, “Miz, we made you pretty much unimportant at a time where YOU should have been front and center. So here’s a one-month extension on the WWE title.”

At least Miz looks good with the title, one of the very few outside of Cena that do. His PR skills are pretty damn good too, as he made entertaining talk-show appearances. Check out the Jimmy Fallon interview, and surprises will come about.

Before I go way into the other direction, let me still state this is a rant.

A rant about how a man, whose skills in the ring are still very much inconsistent, somehow won a contest reserved for the gods amongst pro wrestling.

PWI, aka Pro Wrestling Illustrated, is a “premier wrestling publication” whose articles are completely in kayfabe. Therefore, unlike Dave Meltzer and “Wrestling Observer”, the reports are mainly based on what we see on the tube, mixed with reality only when it serves a direct purpose.

So while Miz had a good year, he didn’t get fired twice (Cena) and didn’t single-handedly take out a whole faction on his own with no help (Orton). In the grand scheme of things, Miz’s year could be noted as underrated, but #1? Now that’s just crazy talk.

BBB Reviews: Running with Scissors

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. Is that really…naw it can’t be!

Oh yes kids it is.

You see, when I last left you with Bad Hair Day, Al was sporting his signature short/curly hair with a pair of spectacles to match.

However, both are those are gone. In 1998, Yankovic got LASIK eye surgery, and therefore his vision became 20/20 which in turn ditched the glasses. Couple that with extending out the prized follicles, and there you have it.

A nerd/geek/poindexter turned into the vegan hippie he inspires to be. That’s the breaks little man!

Anyways, back to the album.

The last album was released in 1996, and because this is now 1999, this is yet another time where there is a 3 year gap in between albums. This time by however, it wasn’t a hip/current song that kick-started the barn-burner popularity of the album.

Actually, it was a dual case of, “what’s old is new again.”

As you’re about to read, Al made a fantastic marriage of Don McLean and Star Wars, and thus had an LP that shot up to #16 on the Billboard charts. So without further ado, here is RUNNING WITH SCISSORS!

Yet Another Announcement

 

I will admit I am pretty pleased with how this “experiment” this going. Within two months, I have about 1800 page views and no shortage of stuff to talk about.

At the same time, I really want to expand my horizons, and see how far I can go.

That’s why today I have officially started up a sister blog at Wordpress.

The link for the affiliate blog can be reached here: http://badbookingblog.wordpress.com/

As of right now, I am going to put up my “Weird Al” reviews up there, and start it off that way. Later on, I’ll be simultaneously posting new content on both blogs (with proper revisions for both).

Right now, I view of this as exciting and uncharted territory, and I hope that the same loyal readers here can also travel a little ways to Wordpress as well.

Here’s your video of Zen:

Yep. The game where Cutler got sacked NINE TIMES... in the first half!

BBB Reflects on Last Night’s RAW

If you may remember from yesterday, I wrote this ditty. Long story short, I was excited about what happened from the Money in the Bank event, and that RAW had to be absolutely electric as a fallout (and no, I don’t mean the games from Bethesda).

So here we are. Monday Night Raw from Green Bay, the hometown of the Packers and a certain wrestler who should have been McMahon’s bastard child four years ago.

This maybe correct if the question was, “Who won against Chavo Guerrero in the best of infinity series of 2009/2010?”

Ah yes, Raw. The show started with Vince McMahon, in a suit only Silvio Dante from ‘The Sopranos’ would cherish, walking into the ring with John Laurinaitis to cut a promo. The promo’s significance was bound to be so great, that the locker room pooled around a TV.

 

Oh hai to you too Evan! Courtesy of the FAN Forums.

The elder McMahon, in his signature rambling, explained how not one singular man was greater than the whole of his juggernaut WWE.

After “blacklisting” CM Punk and “wiping” the title reign away, McMahon announced a tournament to crown the next successor to the spinney gold belt.

For the next two hours, superstars including Alberto Del Rio, Rey Mysterio, R-Truth, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, Alex Riley, and The Miz all competed in matches to try to solidify their place in history.

The conclusion of the tourney was to be The Miz, who had battled knee problems stemming from that spot the night before, against Rey Mysterio who while not in any great shakes of his own still managed to beat two men with the same finisher!

Coming back from commercial break, Mysterio was celebrating his win over Truth when Miz should have come out to face him in the finals.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, close-to-geriatric McMahon in his ridiculous pink suit makes an appearance. He tells Rey that the show is almost over, he needs to make an announcement, and that the ‘Master of the 619’ should leave.

While reluctantly leaving, Rey was told he would have that title match against Miz next week. Okay, at least RAW is worth watching next week, if for nothing else!

So now McMahon is in the ring about to can John Cena. If you’re synapses are not that good, here is the low-down: Cena had to retain the title against Punk, or else he would be fired.

What do you mean fire him?

Adios. Sayonara. Don’t let the door hit you in the butt on the way out.

(Shout-out to RD Reynolds and Wrestlecrap while we’re at it.)

In another staged mind of “grumpy”, Vince tells the audience he does what’s right for the business and the fans. Cena then comes out, says some stuff while goes to three different ways of thought, but in the end it’s McMahon’s call.

John Cena…yerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

… (boom)

TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

To a massive ovation, Triple H comes down to the ring in a very professional looking suit. It’s been said that Triple H has been gaining power in the WWE, and even has his own office at the headquarters in Stamford to prove it. Too bad Sin Cara already got himself in trouble, but what’s success without a little tumbling eh?

So Trips comes down the aisle, he looks tired and just about sad. After about five minutes worth of stumbling dialogue, Hunter tells McMahon that as a result of a board of directors meeting which resulted in no confidence, Vince is relieved of his duties.

This is where Vince McMahon should get an Emmy nomination.

Vince goes from egomaniacal bad guy to a weeping and sobbing quiver of a mess that the fans have no choice but to feel sorry for. Hunter couldn’t keep with the waterworks in delivering the bombshell.

Which is something else I’d like to delve on for just a moment.

You see, a few years back, this would have been Triple H as a performer yelling, “YERRR FIRED,” to a thunderous ovation and Pedigree.

This go round however, he does it as if you’re receiving a letter of termination from your soon to be ex-employer. That’s how “mature” Helmsley has become, he has that professional voice to him that goes well in world matters.

Watch it for yourself suckers!

 In the aftermath, John Cena was spared a firing, and thus he has officially become that status of, “…untouchable, but I’m forcing you to feel me!” Second overruled firing in a year, most people wish that could happen to them!

So yeah, WWE’s got my interest now. This week’s installment of the flagship was nothing but balls-to-the-walls action amongst uncertainty and (kayfabe) fear. That soap-opera-esque promo segment at the end of the show really put a new spin on things, and where it goes will be all the more fun (or not) next week.